


Daredevil in the Surf

by Smokey310



Series: Stupid boys talking and maybe some smut [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Polyamory, Surfing AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26439520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smokey310/pseuds/Smokey310
Summary: “WE'RE HERE!”Tsukishima leaned between the front seats to squint out of the window. All he could see was a rooftop peeking out from a bit of decorative garden brush right at the end of the road. The roof didn't seem to grow into the 'spacious beach cottage' from the AirBnB listing as they got closer.“That's just the garage, right?” he asked.“Nope,” Kuroo said, popping the last syllable. “This is our cozy little beach hut. And don't look at me like that – I'm not on your side here, I think it's super cute.”Tsukishima directed his are-you-on-my-side-stare at Akaashi, his last hope.“I don't think this thing even has two separate rooms,” Akaashi said. “So that solves our problem of who-sleeps-with-who.”Tsukishima just wished he didn't have to phrase it like that.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: Stupid boys talking and maybe some smut [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/322520
Comments: 169
Kudos: 423
Collections: maazeesfavs





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, hello, it's only been 4 years, but I'm back with some Bokuakakurotsuki! 
> 
> You can thank [essrambles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doggoneit/profile) for this – she betaed this chapter and got me to write for Haikyuu again! :D This was supposed to be my contribution to her BAKT fic zine “Blue Moon” (follow on [tumblr](https://bluemoonficzine.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/bluemoonficzinetwitter). I naively presumed I'd manage to jump right back into this fandom with a normal-length fic, but the Daredevil-titles are cursed to end up being like 100k, so... not exactly zine material :'D Anyway, I'm so happy to show this to all you guys and I'm still looking forward to writing another piece for the zine!
> 
> My idea was to write a reverse-type Daredevil where instead of snowboarding they go surfing. You may notice that the opening scene still fits that theme perfectly. But then it quickly runs away from me :'D
> 
> I'm putting this into the Stupid Boys-series because this belongs with Daredevil on the Slope in some way (so we have DITS and DOTS^^), HOWEVER it does not play in the same universe! Here the boys are College age and have all been pining for years and will be pining throughout the entire fic. It will be painful in a funny way – so basically, it fits the Stupid Boys series even if it's not the same universe. 
> 
> Anyway – I hope you guys enjoy this just as much as the original Daredevil and I'm gonna stop blabbering now. Have fun with an awkward, newly adult, sassy Tsukki POV this time 'round!

With the sun determined to melt a hole into their shitty car and no refreshing breeze around, even though they were driving along the sea shore, Tsukishima didn't exactly count this holiday as being off to a great start. 

He had looked forward to it and dreaded it an equal amount while it was still weeks away. Now, stuck in the backseat with Akaashi while Bokuto hurtled the car across a tiny cobblestone street, the dread had won over. At least Kuroo seemed to share his concerns and weak stomach.

“I'm serious, Bokuto, I don't mind driving the second half of the way,” Kuroo burped. “Maybe then we might arrive with the rubber still _on_ the tire.”

The insinuation flew right over Bokuto's head. He laughed his boisterous laugh, patted Kuroo's head despite multiple screams of keeping his hands on the steering wheel, and winked into the rear-view mirror. “No way, bro. You already drove the first half of the way while these two lazy nerds back there have been playing travel chess for almost five hours now.”

“We're still tied,” explained Akaashi, who seemed unaffected by the unsafe driving practices, the sun roasting one half of his face, as well as the bumpy type of locomotion. His eyes were concentrated on the tiny chessboard in his hands, where their figurines stuck in their respective squares, safe from being catapulted out of the window by a sudden bump in the road. “I can't lose when there's so much peace and quiet on the line.”

“Peace and quiet?” Kuroo asked, daring to turn around in his seat and leave the windshield unsupervised. “What exactly are you playing for?”

“Who has to share a bed with Bokuto,” Akaashi said as he casually obliterated Tsukishima's queen with one of his knights.

“What?” Bokuto screeched, turning his head around only to have it forcefully pushed back by Kuroo. “You meant to say 'gets to', right?”

“Don't worry, I'll do it,” Kuroo said. “I'll sacrifice myself. I want you to remember me as the nicest person you know.”

“Stop talking like you'll be dead by the end of summer just because you finally have to join the workforce,” Tsukishima said, rolling his eyes. “And there's no way we let you two share a room again.”

“Is it because I snore a little?” Bokuto pouted.

“I think they're hinting at the time we spent the whole night practicing our special handshake,” Kuroo correctly guessed. “And just for the record, it wasn't my idea to include a wolf howl at the end.”

Bokuto sent a confused look towards his left and asked, “What handshake?”, only to have Kuroo's fingernail pushed deep into his thigh and almost break the gas pedal. Akaashi used the commotion during their big lurch forward to position his bloodthirsty knight right in the way of Tsukishima's king. It was admirable how he didn't let things like a little mortal fear distract him from his goal. Meanwhile Tsukishima was too busy acting like he hadn't caught on to what had just come to light and evading Kuroo's lazy grin to properly concentrate on the game before him. His next move was done without care or thought, and caused Kuroo's grin to be mirrored in Akaashi's face.

Tsukishima really hated when that happened. One, because it was too attractive for words, and two, because it always meant trouble.

“Checkmate,” Akaashi said, letting the words roll over his tongue with relish. “That's two consecutive wins for me. Have fun with Bokuto, he's all yours now.”

“Do you need him back with his vocal cords intact?” Tsukishima asked, throwing the little chess game into the trunk. 

“Stop threatening us with violence, Tsukki, we all know you wouldn't hurt a fly,” Kuroo said, that infuriating grin still plastered to his face. 

“That's because flies are valuable members of our ecosystem, as well as intelligent and fascinating little creatures.”

“Are you saying a fly is more intelligent than me?” Bokuto asked, sounding sincerely distraught. “That can't be, right? I would find my way out of an open window at the very least.”

“Great, so you already know where to go if you keep me up with snoring and / or dormant kicking,” Tsukishima said. 

“Tsukki!” Kuroo's grin was finally gone and instead he looked slightly afraid. “Don't upset him! You don't want to start our last big holiday with a pouting Bokuto, do you?”

“It's all my fault,” Akaashi said. “I forgot that Tsukishima was a sore loser.”

“Excuse-” Tsukishima spun around to throw Akaashi a betrayed look, but all of their worries were for naught, because Bokuto started hollering in joy at that very second.

“WE'RE HERE!”

Tsukishima leaned between the front seats to squint out of the window. All he could see was a rooftop peeking out from a bit of decorative garden brush right at the end of the road. The roof didn't seem to grow into the 'spacious beach cottage' from the AirBnB listing as they got closer. 

“That's just the garage, right?” he asked.

“Nope,” Kuroo said, popping the last syllable. “This is our cozy little beach hut. And don't look at me like that – I'm not on your side here, I think it's super cute.”

Tsukishima directed his are-you-on-my-side-stare at Akaashi, his last hope.

“I don't think this thing even has two separate rooms,” Akaashi said. “So that solves our problem of who-sleeps-with-who.”

Tsukishima just wished he didn't have to phrase it like that.

“I need to see the beach!” Bokuto yelled, right before he threw himself out of the door, leaving it to Kuroo to properly stop and park the car. 

“Why do we let him drive again?” Tsukishima asked. He tried to be casual about it, but his voice was tinted with adrenaline from witnessing that little stunt. 

“Because otherwise he'll be in a bad mood,” Kuroo sighed. “And we don't-”

“-want to start off our last big vacation like that, right.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “Would have been a great start if we collapsed our garden shed by sending a car crashing through it right at the beginning.”

An insistent push from his left made him shut up and open the only working car door in the back. He let Akaashi gently shove him out of the car, swallowing a moan once his legs were finally stretched again. They could hear Bokuto shouting something from the other side of the cottage. 

“Come on, let's go and check out the beach,” Kuroo said, lifting a hand to tousle Tsukishima's hair. “We can unload the car later. It's not like there's anyone here who could steal our stuff.”

“I wish!” Tsukishima grumbled. It was no secret he wasn't big on surfing and that the chances on some mysterious accident befalling his surfboard were high, but the other two were already on their way towards the little garden, leaving Tsukishima to wallow in self-pity all alone. Which was completely uncool, so Tsukishima pulled himself together and followed behind his friends.

The reasons he had been dreading this vacation and was acting like an asshole were simple. 

The vacation hadn't even really started yet and he was already suffering.

Tsukishima didn't know what made these three incredibly attractive Tokyo boys adopt a lanky, ill-mannered, younger Miyagi kid into their friend group, but they had been quite insistent about it. Especially once Tsukishima started to go to a university in Tokyo and had ended up sharing an apartment with Kenma, who somehow managed to direct every ounce of unwanted attention towards Tsukishima. 

The problem was that their attention wasn't exactly unwanted. 

After years of being roped into their crazy shenanigans, after a multitude of firsts – from the first time he drank alcohol to the first time he had a serious heart-to-heart with someone who wasn't Yamaguchi, after about a million of casual touches leaving his skin prickling, Tsukishima might have developed the smallest of crushes. And the worst part was that he couldn't even decide who he was crushing on. 

As of now, their relationship looked something like this:

Bokuto and Kuroo: Shamelessly make out every time they get drunk just to freak the other two out. Not in a relationship.

Bokuto and Akaashi: In love on a whole different plane – do they even see each other as sexual beings or have they turned straight into an old married couple who understand each other without talking out loud? Not in a relationship.

Kuroo and Akaashi: Keep walking around holding hands, calling each other 'honey' etc. Haven't kissed even once. What are they playing at? Not in a relationship.

Bokuto and Tsukishima: Aggressive, loud flirting by Bokuto. Trying not to pass out from embarrassment by Tsukishima. 

Akaashi and Tsukishima: Cheeky, secret flirting by Akaashi. Trying not to pass out from embarrassment by Tsukishima.

Kuroo and Tsukishima: Accidental, honest flirting by Kuroo. Trying not to pass out from embarrassment by both of them.

Tsukishima had tried to go about it in a rational way, by trying to decide whom he would have the best chances with. But then it turned out that those three didn't do rationality. He switched to a scientific way by carrying a little pin with himself and pricking his finger every time he had 'impure thoughts' to condition himself. He quickly realized that his hands would look like a pin cushion before those thoughts went away. 

Somewhere down the line he finally came to the solution that had worked best for him so far: Complete and utter denial. 

“Tsukki! What's taking you so long? Come look at this!”

Bokuto's voice sounded far away, which was to say something, because it was a loud voice. Tsukishima passed the bits of brush covering the top of the dune behind their cottage and the beach finally surfaced before his eyes.

It felt like being hit by a visual. All of a sudden, the so far missing breeze caught his hair. He could smell the ocean and the sand, the cries of the seagulls reached his ears, he could feel the spray of the waves on his face, even though it was too far away for that to be possible. 

And in the middle of that picture stood his friends, all turned towards him, smiling with a varying display of teeth, but all smiling brightly. And Tsukishima realized that he wasn't suffering at all. He was the luckiest guy in the world on his last big vacation. And he was going to enjoy this for as long as he had it.

…..

“I'm suffering. I'm seriously suffering and it's all your fault!”

“Come on, how was I supposed to know it would get cold once it gets dark?” Kuroo said, his own teeth clattering even more than Tsukishima's.

“I don't know – common sense?”

“I'm not cold,” Akaashi helpfully offered. “Do I have to warm you up?”

Tsukishima was too cold to die from embarrassment for once, so he let Akaashi wrap his arms around his middle. They continued their nightly walk along the beach in an awkward stumble, but at least Tsukishima didn't feel like his limbs would turn to ice any second. Putty was a more probable substance all of a sudden.

“Why did you drench yourselves in water?” Bokuto laughed, hopping along the beach a few feet ahead of them. “No wonder you're freezing.”

“Don't remind me!” Kuroo cried. “And especially don't remind Tsukki!”

Too late for that. “Yes, good question, Bokuto!” Tsukishima spat. “Why did we drench ourselves in water?”

“It was just horseplay!” Kuroo sighed.

“ _Horseplay?_ ”

Kuroo waved his arms around helplessly. “You know, a romantic walk on the beach with your friends needs a little horseplay. A friendly little splash fight. That's the rules of the sea!” 

“A romantic _what_? Rules of the _what? Horseplay_?” Tsukishima frothed.

“Tsukishima, you're frothing,” Akaashi said.

“The rules of the sea,” Bokuto mused from ahead. His big strides were moving him forward faster than the rest of their shaking and shuffling legs. “Sounds like that would be something more grandiose. Something concerning pirates.”

“Pirates don't do horseplay!” Tsukishima nodded, as if Bokuto's musings added to his argument. 

“I already said that I'm sorry!” 

Kuroo looked honestly miserable, so Tsukishima bit his tongue. The truth was that the anger had disappeared as soon as Kuroo mentioned the word romantic, even if the context was nonsensical. Also, Akaashi had positioned his arms daringly low, his hand placed on Tsukishima's hip bone like it was natural. It was hard to concentrate on being angry when there were tremors seizing your body and you weren't sure what the cause was.

“WE'RE HERE!” Bokuto finally hollered, taking off with a string of heyheyHEYs. 

Kuroo, who had been the last to their little caravan, somehow shot past Tsukishima and Akaashi in a wavering run, stumbling in his flip flops halfway to the hut and swallowing a mouthful of sand in the process. 

“What's gotten into him?” Tsukishima mumbled, watching the pathetic display. “Is he afraid I'm going to kill him when Bokuto isn't there to defend him?”

“I think he's just cold,” Akaashi said. “No one was cuddling him.”

Tsukishima didn't say anything to that, because Akaashi started to rub his body with the hand not currently placed on his hipbone to warm him up. And he had just called this 'cuddling'. And Tsukishima distracted himself by wondering if his face would rather light up the darkness or disappear in it. 

They reached Kuroo a few moments later – the second stumble in the sand had made him give up and lay face-first on the ground, looking like a stranded cat shark. 

“Are you still alive?” Akaashi asked, finally letting go of Tsukishima to check Kuroo's vitality. 

“Barely,” Kuroo coughed. “Too heavy to move. From all the sand I ate.”

“BOKUTO!” Akaashi called, making both Tsukishima and Kuroo flinch. His voice didn't usually get this loud. 

Bokuto stormed down the dune only seconds later, well aware that it had to be an emergency if Akaashi called out for him like that. He saw Kuroo lying in the sand, freaked out for a second and tried to pick him up princess-style. 

“Ooph!” he groaned, letting Kuroo fall back into the sand to a pained yelp. “You're heavier than I expected.”

“It's the sand!” Kuroo claimed. 

“He's not exactly a kitten that you can just pick up,” Akaashi said. “Just give him a hand.”

“He _is_ a kitten!” Bokuto argued. “But you're right, I can't simply pick him up.” He offered his hand for Kuroo to take, earning a betrayed look.

“Dude, how are you ever going to carry me over the threshold when we get married?” 

“Dude, I'll become a bodybuilder if I have to – no one will take that from us!”

“Oh, okay then.” Kuroo took Bokuto's hand, looking a lot livelier once he got pulled back on his feet. That didn't stop Bokuto from wrapping himself around Kuroo until their bodies were indistinguishable from one another. 

Tsukishima watched the Bokuto-Kuroo-growth slowly make its way up the dune, unsure if the motion could be described as walking or crawling or creeping. He wrinkled his nose. “Gross.”

“Come on, the house is right there,” Akaashi said, right before Tsukishima could feel Akaashi's fingertips in his lower back, pushing him along the dune. They reached the house at the same time as the other two, whose mode of transportation was anything but efficient. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief once the key turned in its lock. 

Their bags were still wildly strewn around the entrance, where they had left them in favor of going on their little beach adventure. The only thing they had unpacked was the kitchen stuff in order to eat a small dinner earlier. Since the only shower was situated in the backyard of the cottage, no one felt like taking one, except for Kuroo, who was forced by Akaashi lest their bed would be full of sand. 

Bokuto and Tsukishima could still hear him crying from being doused in ice cold water outside when they entered their little room. As they had already known, it was a double bed – one that had also looked considerably bigger in the ad, but the only alternative was the pull-out couch the others were sleeping in. 

“Poor baby,” Bokuto said, tossing his old Fukurodani gym bag onto the bed.

“Don't call him a baby,” Tsukishima said. “He's a grown man and doesn't deserve our pity for the repercussions of his own stupid actions.”

“Just because he's a grown man doesn't mean he can't be a baby,” Bokuto said, digging through his bag for an old t-shirt to sleep in. 

Tsukishima crouched down to the floor, looking into his own bag so he didn't have to see Bokuto getting shirtless. “Well, I'm not arguing with that. But he's not a _poor_ baby, he's more like... a baby man, you know?”

“A baby man...” Bokuto tried the words on his tongue, approving them with a vibrant laugh. “That fits perfectly!”

His voice sounded oddly muted, so Tsukishima risked a look at him and found his head helplessly stuck in a piece of fabric.

“That doesn't fit at all!” Tsukishima groaned, forcing his eyes away from the abs on full display. He knew this vacation would be his downfall. How many more situations like this one would arise, where he was presented with a body whose eyes were obstructed and wouldn't even see him stare? 

“But you're the one who said it!” Bokuto argued.

“I'm very obviously talking about that shirt you're trying to fit over your head. Why the hell did you bring a shirt that's five sizes too small?”

“Ask Akaashi, he packed it for me!”

“Put your arms up!” Tsukishima ordered. He had to fight his own legs to step closer. Way too close. But he had to help Bokuto or he would eventually pass out from lack of air and his obscene body would never be properly covered. 

Tsukishima could only distract himself by talking. “Kuroo's not the only baby man around here. Why the hell can't you pack your own bag?”

“I would not have brought a sleeping shirt to begin with,” Bokuto admitted. Some strands of gray hair were finally protruding from his shirt, but it wasn't easy to pull it down.

Tsukishima tried to look at it like a puzzle – pull a little on this side, shift, pull a little on that side – finally, the shirt was past Bokuto's nipples. 

“Air, please!” Bokuto begged, and Tsukishima realized he had been so concentrated on covering Bokuto's body that he had completely forgotten about his head. 

“Right...” He freed Bokuto's gasping face from its prison. “Actually, you can do the rest yourself.”

“What? No! Please, Tsukki, you're so good at it!”

“We'll have to cut you out of that thing at this point!”

There was something about Bokuto that made it really hard to say no to him. Tsukishima accepted his fate and continued to pull at the shirt, watching it come down inch by inch while Bokuto busied himself by digging through his bag with one hand.

“Why do you think he packed this for me?” Bokuto asked, pulling a little owl plushie out of the bag. “Aww. It's cute!”

Tsukishima didn't have the time to call him a baby, because the door to their room was thrown open right then and a second Fukurodani gym bag came flying at Bokuto's head. He evaded it because both Tsukishima and Bokuto jumped away from each other like they were caught at something incriminating. 

“I believe you took my bag?” 

They both turned to see Akaashi standing in the door, looking uncharacteristically murderous. When no one answered, he stomped into the room to snatch the identical bag on the bed, as well as the owl plushie from Bokuto's hand. 

“Oh!” Bokuto said while Tsukishima buried his face in his hands. How did Bokuto not realize that none of the clothes belonged to him? “Sorry... I must have grabbed the wrong... bag.”

Akaashi hit him with a cold look, which melted a little once he noticed how the shirt was still only just past Bokuto's nipples.

“Keep that,” he said. Then he went out the door, banging it back into the lock. 

Tsukishima and Bokuto were left standing on different sides of their bed, staring after Akaashi in wonder.

“Oh my God!” Bokuto finally whispered. “Akaashi is a-”

“Baby man!” Tsukishima finished. 

Looking back, Tsukishima never would have thought he'd spend that first night falling asleep next to Bokuto while they were both giggling their heads off, somehow unable to stop no matter how many complaints were yelled at them from the living room. But it happened. Somehow, Tsukishima was falling even deeper. And it was only just the first day.

…

The seagulls screaming outside woke Tsukishima up before Bokuto could. The night had been surprisingly quiet. Tsukishima couldn't remember waking up with Bokuto's knee in his back or the sounds of a chainsaw shaking the cottage. In fact, all the sound Bokuto made was a bit of whistling breathing. He had kept every bit of distance between them that was possible, even though Tsukishima had been sure he would end up being the surrogate plushie when Akaashi had come back for his owl.

Maybe Bokuto was less of a baby man than Tsukishima had secretly hoped him to be.

“Up?” Bokuto startled as soon as Tsukishima moved. “Time?”

“Try to form coherent sentences,” Tsukishima said. “Didn't you guys all want to go surfing? You do that in the early morning, you know?”

“Evening,” Bokuto corrected, burrowing his head back into the cushions.

“Morning!” Tsukishima insisted, poking Bokuto's sides for a spot that would make him jump.

“Eve-” Bokuto heaved, rolling his body around without warning and burying Tsukishima underneath himself. “-ning!”

Tsukishima's voice started to sound a little panicked now. “Morn-” he cried out, only to have Bokuto's hand pushed over his mouth.

“Evening!” Bokuto stayed insistent until Tsukishima managed to pry his hand off his face.

“Wood!” Tsukishima completed his cry. “For God's sake, Bokuto! Have you no shame?”

Bokuto waved the hand still locked in Tsukishima's grip. “Don't worry, it's not cause you're hot or anything, it's just natural. I'm young and potent.”

“You make me want to puke an awful lot for someone who has his face that close to my face!”

Bokuto opened his eyes a little as if to check for truth in the warning. Whatever he saw in Tsukishima's face thankfully made him roll back on his own side, groaning. “Great, now I'm awake!”

“Great!” Tsukishima agreed. “Let's see if the others are up.”

They both untangled themselves from their covers, patting their feet along the floor until they found their respective pair of slippers. Bokuto was out of the door with a sudden bout of awakeness with which Tsukishima could not keep up. He grabbed his glasses from the bedside table and shuffled out behind Bokuto, only to be held back by a strong arm slapping across his chest.

“What-” Tsukishima started, but interrupted himself when he saw what they were walking into.

Kuroo and Akaashi were all tangled up in each other, both fast asleep. The little owl plush had somehow made its nest in Kuroo's hair. They were on the side of the house that didn't have the first light creeping in yet, so Tsukishima couldn't make out the exact architecture of their sleeping position, but he was still flushed by a wave of longing and a little jealousy. 

Bokuto, completely free of jealousy, cupped his hands to his heart. “They're so cute!” he whispered. “Too bad you would decapitate me if I ever tried this.”

“Huh?” Tsukishima asked intelligently. 

“It looks so comfortable!” Bokuto said, starting to hop on the spot.

“I wouldn't... I mean...,” Tsukishima almost twisted his fingers from fidgeting so much. How could he let Bokuto know he wasn't _that_ opposed to a little cuddling, without revealing his crush? Then he remembered he was supposed to be in denial and bit his tongue. 

“Guh!” came a sudden sound from Kuroo's end. “Gergh. Whas time?”

“It's creepy how similar you are,” Tsukishima said. 

Kuroo's head appeared behind Akaashi's hair to squint at Tsukishima, but Bokuto immediately drew all attention to himself just by looking the way he did.

“Dude!” Kuroo snorted. “What the hell?”

Tsukishima didn't have to look to know the picture Bokuto presented. “What exactly do you mean?” he asked. “The wild hair, the obscene shirt, the fuzzy owl slippers, or the still very prominent morning wood?” Tsukishima tried to gag a little at that last part.

Akaashi chose that moment to startle up from the bed, moaning, “Wood?”

“Oh, great!” Tsukishima said. “Good morning to you, too.”

“Morning, babe!” Kuroo patted Akaashi's disheveled hair and smiled when Akaashi leaned into him and opened his mouth for a huge, drawn-out yawn. “Sleep well?”

“Still sleeping well,” Akaashi mumbled, clearly about to fall back asleep.

“Hello? You were the ones who wanted to go surfing!” Tsukishima reminded them. 

“It's not like we have to do it right on the first day,” Bokuto argued. “Actually I have a long list of stuff I want to do. We already did our beach walk, but we still have to go swim with the dolphins, join a boat cruise, go snorkeling, collect a bunch of clam shells-” 

"Did you all bully me into buying a surfboard only to never even use it?" Tsukishima inquired in what he knew was his dangerous voice. "Because I might just end up using it as a murder weapon!"

“Always with the death threats, Tsukki! We'll have to make you unlearn that” Kuroo grinned, gently shaking Akaashi awake again. “It's a nasty habit. Kinda like an unruly dog peeing everywhere.”

“Don't compare me to a dog!”

“Cat,” Bokuto offered. “Fits better. You're lanky and mean.”

“Kuroo is the cat around here,” Akaashi yawned. “If we're going by our high school mascots, he's a crow.”

“Crows don't pee though,” Kuroo mused. “And they're not usually held as pets.”

“I'm not your pet!” said Tsukishima. “And if you guys are awake enough to have this stupid discussion, you're awake enough to get dressed. I'm looking at you, Akaashi!”

“Boo!” was all Akaashi had to say to that, but Tsukishima was not in the business of backing down so easily. He knew how to get them going by now. It took about another ten minutes, but by the end of it they were all standing around the kitchen corner, stuffing toast into themselves and surfing gear onto themselves. It took another ten minutes for Tsukishima to peel Bokuto out of the T-shirt while Kuroo was busy peeling a half asleep Akaashi into his wetsuit. Twenty minutes in total. Might be a new record.

The sun hadn't completely detached from the horizon quite yet and the beach was still flooded with golden orange light. It looked a little unreal, as if they were stuck in a 99D cinema with a slightly cheesy director. At least the view made Akaashi's eyes finally open up completely. 

“Okay, I'm back now,” he announced.

“Where the hell were you?” Tsukishima asked and almost bit his tongue when Akaashi casually took his hand and squeezed it.

“Thanks for being a pushy little pest.”

“Your words and your actions are a little contradictory,” Tsukishima said. He stopped complaining once Akaashi used their casually interlocked hands to pull him across the beach where Bokuto and Kuroo were already running towards the sea. This time Kuroo arrived safely without eating sand and by the time Tsukishima and Akaashi had hauled their surfboards to the beach, the other two were already out in the open water.

“What now?” Tsukishima asked. “Remember I don't know how to surf and you promised to teach me.”

“Actually, Bokuto called dibs on that,” Akaashi said. “So try to get out to him.”

He was off without another word, jumping belly-first onto his board and swimming away. Farther out, Tsukishima caught a glimpse of Bokuto trying to stand up on his board, which resulted in a somersault right into the water.

“He sucks!” Tsukishima called out. “Akaashi, he sucks!”

Bokuto was washed up on the beach moments later, right after his board. He still had a bright smile painted on his face as he ran towards Tsukishima. 

“Do you even know how to surf?” Tsukishima asked. 

“Sure, I was just a little too enthusiastic,” Bokuto said easily. “But I can teach you the basics just fine. Leave your board here, we'll share one for now.”

“What? I've never seen two people on a board before! Are you sure that's how-”

“Hey hey hey!” Bokuto stopped him. “I'm the teacher here, remember? I call the shots! And I say we share a board for now. Look at mine, it's big enough for both of us!”

“If you're the one to push us out there, I'm fine with it,” Tsukishima conceded. 

Bokuto didn't have a problem with that and so Tsukishima ended up straddling the tip of his board while Bokuto swam them out as if he had a propeller stuck in his butt. 

“Can I rent you to do this for the whole trip?” Tsukishima asked. 

“Sure, but you'll have to pay me with your body.”

Tsukishima was glad his face was turned away from Bokuto's. “Which part?” he asked. 

“All of it,” Bokuto said easily. “I wanna have what Kuroo and Akaashi have!”

 _Denial!_ Tsukishima reminded himself. _You're in denial!_

“Fine,” he shrugged. “But I draw the line at morning wood.”

The whole board was shaken when Bokuto suddenly jumped on it and sat behind him. 

“For real?” Bokuto yelled. “You'd _cuddle_ with me? Oh my God, the others will be so jealous! HA!”

“Right,” Tsukishima said, hoping the back of his ears weren’t reddening too obviously. Would there ever be a time when he didn’t feel like an awkward teenager around them or would this just be the status quo forever? “You were about to teach me something?”

“So I want you to get a feel for the waves first,“ Bokuto explained, paddling the water until the board was pointing towards the beach. They weren’t too far out, the waves were just barely breaking. “So just stay sitting there like you are now while I show you how it’s done.”

“How what’s done?”

“Catching a wave, of course!”

Tsukishima realized he should have foreseen what was about to happen, but he was caught completely off-guard when Bokuto suddenly jumped on the board. The small moment when his feet were in the air was enough for Tsukishima’s end of the board to suddenly dive underwater and catapult Bokuto right into Tsukishima. They went under in a struggling, gurgling mess, not knowing whose limbs were whose and where up and down were.

Luckily, Tsukishima could feel the seafloor under his toes and he was able to pull Bokuto to the surface before he drowned.

“Oops,” Bokuto coughed, kicking his feet. “Wow, you can stand here?”

“I was right!” Tsukishima revolted. “You _do_ suck!”

“Hey, hold me up, okay?”

Tsukishima was too distracted by Akaashi and Kuroo surfing past them to pay attention to Bokuto clinging to him like a baby monkey. They both looked so at home on their boards, like it was the easiest thing in the world. The only things missing were a pair of sunglasses and a cocktail in their hands as they coolly looked over at their shipwrecked friends.

“I retract my bodily payment,” Tsukishima told Bokuto once the others had reached the beach and got ready to throw themselves back into the water.

“What? You can’t do that!” The payment was for swimming you out, not for the surfing lessons!”

“You swam me out exactly once and I have already paid for it threefold!”

“Hey hey!” Bokuto cried, climbing around Tsukishima until they were face-to-face, which was a bad moment for Tsukishima to realize what position they were in. “I’m sorry I drowned you, okay? I’ll pay you back in a different way!”

Tsukishima would have liked to drown himself right then and there, just to get out of this situation, but instead he started to walk towards the beach with Bokuto still hanging off him like the world’s biggest baby.

“Is there anything you want from me?” Bokuto inquired. It was hard to look past his serious face.

“I’m sure it’s possible for you to walk here,” Tsukishima said.

“Ew, no! I don’t want to touch the seafloor, who knows what’s down there!”

“But it’s okay if I step onto an urchin? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No! I lied anyway, I just like to be carried. I’m always the carrier and never the carriee, you know?”

“Can I at least carry you on my back? This is a little awkward,” Tsukishima said, which was the wrong thing to do, because it summoned the loud-and-aggressive-flirting grin onto Bokuto’s face.

“Oh? Don’t act like you don’t like my face! I know for a fact that’s not true!”

“How could you know that for a fact?”

“Because I have an amazing face and that’s a fact!”

“Of course!” Tsukishima rolled his eyes in place of a better answer. His brain wasn’t working to its full capabilities right now.

“Would you please tell me how the hell he’s doing it?”

Kuroo’s voice had piped up from somewhere out of Tsukishima’s field of vision, which was due to Tsukishima’s entire field of vision being Bokuto’s face.

Bokuto turned his huge grin towards where Kuroo and Akaashi were floating on their boards behind him.

“Doing what?” Tsukishima asked.

“Wrap you around his little finger,” Kuroo pouted. “Yesterday I splashed a little water on you and you were snarling at me all evening long. But Bokuto can fall on you with his whole body-weight, almost drown you in the process and still be carried to the beach in your arms?”

“It’s apparently because I like his face so much,” Tsukishima said. He had learned that if he spoke his true feelings with a sarcastic voice, it was more effective than an actual lie would be.

“Understandable,” Kuroo said. “But if you’d like to learn from someone who actually knows how to surf, my face will have to do.”

Akaashi floated into Tsukishima’s view, sprawled across two boards. “We have your boards,” he said. “Bokuto, if you need more lessons, I’m free.”

“But I already learned it last year!” Bokuto whined. “I wanted to do a trick!”

Tsukishima gave him a little push towards Akaashi and watched Bokuto float away with a miserable expression. “We’ve seen enough tricks from you. Learn to stand on the board first!”

It felt suddenly cold without Bokuto’s whole body clinging to him. He watched as Bokuto turbo-paddled away, Akaashi in leisurely pursuit.

“We won’t have to go too far out,” Kuroo said. “All we need is some low breaking waves which you can ride on your belly. I want you to get a feel for the waves first.”

“I knew that didn’t sound like Bokuto!” Tsukishima laughed, despite himself. “Guess I should have known better.”

Kuroo grinned. “Sorry for letting him take over. It was just too entertaining. Did you hurt yourselves?”

“I stepped into an urchin. Afraid I won’t be able to surf for the rest of the week.”

“Since you just carried Bokuto over here and aren’t crying in pain, I’m gonna assume that’s a lie. Come on, Tsukki! It will be fun in the end, I promise! You just have to learn how to catch a wave first.”

“You have a weird understanding of fun,” Tsukishima sighed, but he took his board off Kuroo and got on it. “But fine. Tell me what to do.”

Kuroo’s training regime, unsurprisingly, didn’t turn out to be a lot of fun, but that was only because he took his job seriously. Tsukishima spent his morning swimming out countless times, only to float back on his belly. This was interrupted by some intervals of exercises in the sand, where he had to learn how to correctly stand up. Some other surfers arrived halfway through. To his horror, they were trying to give him helpful advice.

Kuroo read Tsukishima’s please-make-them-go-away-look correctly and approached a brown-haired guy who was crouched down too closely.

“Hey hey!” he sing-songed, looming over the guy. “Are you trying to seduce my boyfriend?”

“I’m not your boyfriend,” Tsukishima said automatically, before the guy could even react. He was in denial, after all.

Kuroo turned beet red. “Tsukki!” he whined. “You just ruined my plan!”

“Why is your plan always to play the jealous boyfriend? It’s a shitty and cliché plan!”

“How else am I supposed to help you? I’m sorry I can’t come up with the most brilliant plan in two seconds! I’m not a scheming genius!”

“Oh really? Because those are the exact words everyone always uses to describe you.”

Kuroo blushed even deeper. “They do?” he asked. “Wait. Who’s ‘they’?”

“People who don’t know better, I guess,” Tsukishima said.

“Mean, Tsukki! And just so you know, I managed to scare that guy off just fine!”

Indeed, the guy who had been so eager to criticize his form had slunk away as soon as Kuroo had made his appearance.

“That wasn’t for some stupid plan of yours, the guy was like twice your size! He just left because this whole conversation was too awkward to be caught between.”

Kuroo let himself fall into the sand next to Tsukishima, bumping their shoulders together. “Look!” he said, pointing out towards the sea. “Bokuto is standing upright on his board. You don’t want to lose to him, do you?”

Tsukishima gladly took the moment of peace to sit beside Kuroo and watch the others do their stunts.

“I definitely want to lose to him. He’ll never shut up otherwise.”

“You’re so lenient towards him,” Kuroo sighed. “I wish I had a nice face, too.”

“Do you really think fishing for compliments would work on me?”

“A guy can try, right?” Kuroo grinned. They fell quiet, watching the beach fill up with surfers for a while. Bokuto looked to be a quick learner with good instincts. The only thing getting in the way was his enthusiasm. After a while, Kuroo bumped their shoulders again. “Hey! Your boyfriend’s back!”

Tsukishima followed Kuroo’s nod to where the guy from before was just walking out of the surf, looking a lot more muscular and attractive now that he wasn’t crouched down next to Tsukishima, watching him do push-ups in the sand. With the foam somehow splashing up behind him and the board under his arms, eyes squinted against the sun, he looked like something out of a gay James Bond movie.

Kuroo whistled appreciatively.

“I thought _you_ were my boyfriend,” Tsukishima said. “I can’t keep up with those hypothetical story lines.”

“Well, I’m not actually some kind of jealous boyfriend. I would definitely share you,” Kuroo said, winking.

Tsukishima was saved from having to answer that by Bokuto, who used that moment to interrupt Bond-Guy’s slow-motion walk out of the water by crashing into him from behind.

Akaashi was already there when Tsukishima and Kuroo arrived at the crash site, wearing his perfected I’m-so-sorry-for-my-friend-face. None of them seemed to be hurt, although it was hard to tell what all the fuss was about. It turned out to just be Bokuto, yelling apologies.

“That’s fine, nothing happened,” Bond-Guy said. Now that he wasn’t only inches from Tsukishima’s face, telling him that his balance was off, he seemed a lot less intense. Or maybe that was just the close comparison to Bokuto.

“I forgot how to brake!” Bokuto howled.

“You don’t-“ started Akaashi. “Oh, he’s not listening.”

“You were just there all of a sudden. I’m sorry, my mind went completely blank!”

“Nothing happened,” Bond-Guy repeated. He was already moving towards the rest of his friends who stood to the side, waiting for him.

“I should give you my number, in case you suddenly start experiencing crazy back pains or something like that. I swear I’ll take full responsibility!” Bokuto promised.

Bond-Guy looked down his own body, naked save for the swimming trunks, as if to check. Looking back at Bokuto, he said, “I don’t have a pen or paper.”

“We’re staying in that little house right behind the dune,” Kuroo said, pulling Bokuto out of the guy’s way. “If you need to get revenge, that’s where he’ll be.”

Bond-Guy nodded, using the little escape way Kuroo had created to slip out of their four-man prison. He jogged a little on the way back to his friends, as if he were afraid of Bokuto catching up with him.

“See?” Tsukishima said, turning towards Kuroo. “That’s how it’s done! This guy will never come anywhere near me ever again. Bokuto, you’re the true scheming genius around here.”

Bokuto was still too busy beating himself up to jump at the compliment, but Kuroo looked satisfactorily provoked.

“What will we do if he actually shows up to get revenge?” Akaashi asked.

“Oh please!” Tsukishima grinned towards where Bond-Guy was paddling out into the water behind his friends, trying hard to look anywhere but at their little group.

“If I know one thing for sure, it’s that we’ll never see this guy ever again.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to essrambles for betaing this chapter!! <333 
> 
> Btw, I forgot to mention - this (like DOTS) has a lot of canon backstory, but it's still an AU. So I have Karasuno, Nekoma and Fukurodani all exist in-universe, while all other teams are my pool for substitute characters. So Bond-Guy could be anyone not in those three teams :D 
> 
> Anyway, here goes chapter 2 - have fun!

Once the sun started getting too hot to bear, they went back to their cottage to plan out the rest of their day. Tsukishima had managed to catch a few waves towards the end, even if he didn't stay standing on his board for too long. By the time they were done, his arms felt like they were made of steel – not concerning their strength, but their weight. Bokuto was the one who had to carry his surfboard back.

“I'll be so ripped by the end of this holiday,” Tsukishima moaned as they climbed the dune to their house. “You should all be afraid.”

“I _am_ afraid,” Kuroo said. “You'd look like such an idiot with your thin, tall body and a pair of arms like boulders.”

“Why would the rest of my body not get stronger, too?” Tsukishima asked.

Kuroo pulled the cottage key out of his wetsuit and let them inside, shrugging at Tsukishima's questioning look. “That's just my imagination. It's not like you will actually get ripped.”

“Don't get ripped,” Akaashi said, walking through the door after he had leaned his board against the wall outside to dry. “That's Bokuto's thing. He'll be mad if he can't carry you over the threshold when you get married.”

“You're mistaking me for Kuroo,” Tsukishima said, wondering if Akaashi was suffering from a sunstroke. “And if today proved anything, it's that I'm the one who has to carry Bokuto – where the hell is he anyway?”

“You realize you can always follow the sounds, right?” Kuroo grinned.

Somewhere outside, Bokuto was screaming, half enthusiastic, half in pain.

“I thought that was a flock of seagulls having an orgy,” Tsukishima said.

“And you wouldn't want to check that out?” Kuroo led the way over to the window closest to the sounds and opened it, leaning outside to laugh at Bokuto, who was standing under the shower butt-naked. At least Tsukishima guessed that he was butt-naked, since he was no longer wearing his wetsuit and hadn't come inside to get a pair of swim trunks. It was better for his mental health if he didn't glance around Kuroo's rooster head to find out what Bokuto's downstairs situation looked like.

Akaashi had no such inhibitions. He squeezed his head out of the open window in front of Kuroo, completely unfazed by Bokuto's nakedness. “Please tell me you're screaming because the shower is burning you?” he said.

“It's freezing!” Bokuto and Kuroo both answered, Kuroo patting Akaashi's back in sympathy.

“Oh. No problem, then,” Akaashi said. “I simply won't shower for the rest of the week.”

“I'm the one who has to sleep next to you,” Kuroo complained.

“We spend all our day in the water. I'll be as clean as a sponge.”

“You'll be crusty from the salt,” Tsukishima corrected.

Akaashi shrugged. “Kuroo wouldn't mind. He'd probably lick me like a goat.”

“I would,” Kuroo agreed.

Tsukishima retreated his head back from the open window with a roll of his eyes, shuffling into their little kitchen corner, where the dirty dishes from this morning were still strewn about. He'd rather wash them than stand over there and ogle Bokuto under the shower. No one answered his call for help, since the others were happily enjoying the show.

Kuroo came to join him once Bokuto's screams had stopped, digging through the single cabinet, where they had stuffed all their provisions.

“Do we have anything to eat?” he asked.

“Toast,” Tsukishima said, unbothered by the long whine his comment provoked.

Akaashi was sitting in the window, drying Bokuto's hair with the towel that should have been around his hips. “We could go out to eat,” he said. “Some of the surfers who came from the village recommended a nice place.”

“Yes!” Bokuto perked up. “Let's go to the village! I wanna see the market!”

It looked like he wanted to jump in through the window, so Tsukishima threw a spoon at his head. “Use the door! And cover yourself up, for fuck's sake! You'll be arrested for public indecency.”

“That wouldn't be fair, right?” Bokuto commented from outside, where he was thankfully wrapping the towel around himself. “Our only shower is in the backyard, what else are we supposed to do?”

For some reason it hadn't hit Tsukishima yet, but now he realized that he would have to use that exact shower of hell for the rest of their trip. He must have made a face upon the realization, because Kuroo started to pat his back.

“Don't worry, we won't look. Or you and Akaashi can just get crusty together and share a bed.”

“NOT YET!” Bokuto yelled, running in through the door to snatch a piece of buttered toast right out of Kuroo's hand and stuff it into his own mouth. “I was promised cuddles and I won't let go of him until that happened.”

Kuroo looked at his empty hand, ready to start up a fuss, when the words registered. He looked up, mouth hanging slightly open. Tsukishima couldn't help his head from turning a deep shade of pink, which confirmed Bokuto's words as true. Looking over at Akaashi, he was met with the same blank stare.

“I...” Tsukishima said, when the silence started to get too long. “You don't know the whole story! I was...”

He couldn't remember the reason. All he remembered was this morning, when he had stood in the door and wondered how to make Bokuto cuddle him without admitting he wanted it.

Tsukishima was alerted by a sudden sound to his right. Kuroo had opened up the zipper to his wetsuit in one swift motion.

“Kuroo, what the hell are you doing?”

“Getting into Bokuto's head,” Kuroo said, peeling the wetsuit off his skin. “He seems to be doing _something_ right.”

“It's not the getting-naked part!” Tsukishima yelled, but there was no holding Kuroo back now, especially when Bokuto started to wolf whistle and applaud.

“Better to explore all possibilities,” Akaashi commented from the window, where he was still sitting like it was his throne. “Don't forget to flex.”

Tsukishima knew better than to turn around and check if Kuroo really was flexing. He must have been, judging by the pleased expression on Akaashi's face.

“I'm never going on a vacation with any of you ever again!” Tsukishima threatened, stomping over to the little door of his and Bokuto's room. “I'll be leaving in ten minutes, don't care if you're ready or not.”

It was an idle threat, because Tsukishima hadn't gotten his license yet and wouldn't be able to leave – he should have thought about that before he agreed to spend an entire week with those three in a secluded location where he couldn't run away from.

Tsukishima let himself fall down on Bokuto's side of the bed face-first – he was still in his wetsuit and didn't want to wet his own side, but he needed the private bit of drama right now. He stayed there for five of the ten minutes before he started to dry himself off and get dressed.

He needed to get some thicker skin or he would never survive this vacation.

...

Once they were all ready to leave, the others must have come to the conclusion that it was unwise to aggravate Tsukishima any more, so Kuroo sat behind the steering wheel and Bokuto climbed into the backseat without complaining.

The village was a ten minute drive away and bigger than they had anticipated after arriving at their secluded AirBnB. They could see a few hotels towering over the otherwise idyllic cottages, but it wasn't as bad as many other tourist spots had gotten. It was no problem to find a parking spot right at the beach, the sounds and smells of daily market bustle welcoming them to the picturesque fishing town.

“I'm not sure she'll survive this,” Kuroo said, giving his car a worried once-over. There hadn't been a shady spot far and wide. “We might have to wait until nighttime so she can cool down before we wake her again.”

“No problem!” Bokuto was already running in the direction of the food smells. “There's so much I want to do, one day won't be enough time anyway!”

“The only thing I really want to do is take a normal, private shower,” Tsukishima said.

Akaashi agreed with a grim nod. He had prepared against the sun with a thick load of sunscreen, too much to properly spread on his face, so he looked like a shiny ghost. On his head sat an old visor cap, the ad on it too worn out to be legible. It had to be a kid's hat, because it didn't fit right on his head, his lush black hair aggressively curling around it.

He looked so cute that Tsukishima couldn't face him for too long.

“Quick!” Kuroo said, “we have to decide who's responsible for chaperoning Bokuto.”

Tsukishima and Akaashi both looked at him blankly. They could see Kuroo's anxiousness grow with each second Bokuto ran further away. They were both not beneath exploiting it.

“I don't think I can hear him anymore,” Akaashi said. “What about you, Tsukishima?”

“No, you're right. I hope he's not dead.”

“I'm sure it will be fine,” Akaashi mused. “If he collapses one of the stalls, I'm sure it will be that of a nice person who lets him off with a shrug and not that of a bunch of hard-boiled fishermen who'd want to make bait out of him for compensation.”

“How many hard-boiled fishermen could live in a little fishing town such as this?” Tsukishima agreed.

Kuroo pointed an accusing finger at them. “I can see what you're doing!” he said, right before he ran off anyway. He was gone within seconds, heeding his own advice of following the sounds to find Bokuto again.

Tsukishima was left with Akaashi in a rare moment of peace.

“That's one problem taken care of,” he said. “What do you want to do first?”

“Eat,” Akaashi said.

They strolled into the market street at a much more comfortable pace, looking left and right at what each stall had to offer. Unsurprisingly most of it was fish. There were some truly fearful specimens looking up at them, cockeyed and unseeing, teeth pointing every which way. Tsukishima enjoyed these exhibitions – he thought they were all fascinating creatures. Akaashi was less impressed.

“I don't like this,” he said, squinting at a unicorn fish that looked like it had an ugly, human nose. “I never wanted to know what kind of nightmarish creatures we share our morning surf with.”

“They're not nightmarish,” Tsukishima said. “They protect the reefs around here by eating the algae that would otherwise smother the corals. Besides, they won't be at our surfing spot. If you want to worry about anything, worry about the sharks.”

Akaashi threw him an unamused look, but didn't prod any further. He had probably decided it was better not to find out whether Tsukishima was serious or not. “What's this thing do?” he asked, booping the unicorn fish's nose with a finger.

“Nothing at all,” Tsukishima said. “But be careful where you touch. They have extremely sharp blades coming out of their tails.”

Akaashi looked back at him again, clearly exasperated this time. “Not nightmarish!” he repeated Tsukishima's words. “What exactly do you categorize as nightmarish then?”

“Depends - are you more afraid of poison or bites?”

“BOKUTO!” Akaashi suddenly yelled.

Tsukishima snickered. “You're afraid of Bokuto?”

“No.” Akaashi let go of the unicorn fish's nose to glare at Tsukishima while Bokuto appeared behind him like he was summoned. “But I would literally do anything to get out of this conversation.”

“Does Kuroo have to be carried again?” Bokuto asked, excitedly looking around as if he expected an unconscious Kuroo lying in between the fish.

“He's not with you?” Tsukishima asked. “Wait. That's even worse than having you wander around all alone.”

“Thanks!” Bokuto beamed.

“Akaashi, try summoning him the same way you did with Bokuto,” Tsukishima proposed.

Akaashi was still looking at him with scorn, but in a cute way. “It's not some kind of superpower,” he finally said. “Why don't you call for him?”

“I would never scream in public. That's embarrassing.”

“KUROOOOOOO!” Bokuto yelled, making each and every head turn towards them while Akaashi and Tsukishima, their debate momentarily forgotten, shared a horrified look.

No Kuroo appeared at their side, even once the market, which had come to a halt, slowly reverted back into its busy bustle.

Akaashi stepped right into Tsukishima's space, laying an arm around his middle as if that had become a normal occurrence ever since yesterday night. “I'm sorry. I succumbed to the need of contention and forgot that you are my only true ally.”

“This is bad,” said Bokuto, still craning his neck to scan the crowd for a tuft of black hair sticking out. “Kuroo shouldn't be walking around unchaperoned.”

“You both shouldn't,” Tsukishima griped, trying hard to ignore the arm around his middle. He knew that Akaashi was surprisingly touchy-feely, but still it always came as a surprise. “Now what do we do?”

“We try to get into Kuroo's head,” Akaashi suggested. “If you were a sentimental, shrewd, sly, old man in the body of a young guy, who's also a provocation expert, silly, scheming pain-in-the-ass... Where would you be?”

“That description kinda ran away with you there, huh,” Tsukishima said.

“I know!” Bokuto exclaimed. “He's buying a present for Tsukki that he will both hate and love! A surf leash with a cute shark or dinosaur pattern.”

Both Tsukishima and Akaashi stared at Bokuto in total disbelief.

“That...” Tsukishima finally stuttered, “... literally fits everything Akaashi just listed.”

Akaashi stared at Bokuto a little longer.

“He told you he'd do that, didn't he?”

“Akaaashi!” Bokuto whined. “Tsukki was so impressed with me right now and you have to ruin it!”

Tsukishima ignored the whining in favor of turning to the guy behind the fish stand to ask where one would buy surfing gear around here. Apparently there was no stall for it, but further down the street was a little shop hidden around a barely noticeable corner. They were told to look out for a hideously painted surfboard with the name “THUNDER SURFING GEAR” coming out of the wall.

On their way down the street, they passed some delicious smelling stalls, which even made Tsukishima complain about hunger. But finding Kuroo was a priority right now, so they ignored all the food in favor of rushing towards where the fish seller had pointed them.

The shop turned out to be exactly as he had described it. The only thing alerting them to the little nook between the buildings being a huge, painted surfboard sticking right out into the street. It was painted even more horrendously than Tsukishima would have guessed. He looked at the wonky letters of the word “THUNDER” and a terrible sense of dread overcame him.

“This is it?” Bokuto wondered aloud, extending a hand to grab Tsukishima, who had instinctively turned around to flee. “I don't even see a door!”

“Around the corner.” Akaashi beckoned them over to a hole in the wall.

“That's just a hole in the wall,” Tsukishima said.

“Better than no way inside at all,” Bokuto decided. “Come on!”

They all crouched through the hole into total darkness, fumbling and stumbling in the hopes of finding a door that led them further, but to no avail. It took three seconds for Tsukishima to be so disoriented, he couldn't even see where they had come from anymore.

“Bokuto, get off my foot!” Tsukishima groaned.

“I'm not on any foot!” True to his words, Bokuto's voice came from further away than should have been possible in this cramped space.

“Akaashi, get off my foot, please!”

“Why does he get a please?” Bokuto protested.

“I'm not on any foot either,” Akaashi said in a small voice. “Are we... are we not alone?”

It was unusual for their current grouping, but the eerie darkness had them tense and on their toes. The prospect of a mystery person standing right between them managed to elicit a shriek in three-part harmony.

Tsukishima, trying to get rid of what- or whoever was standing on his foot, made a step backwards into the wall and shrieked again when it suddenly gave in. Losing his balance, he toppled out into the light with a couple of surfboards he had taken for Bokuto and Akaashi.

“Tsukishima?”

The incredulous voice didn't belong to either of them, though.

“What are you doing in my closet?”

Looking up, Tsukishima was met with the lopsided version of a face he knew very well.

“What are you doing in my closet with two other guys?” Nishinoya asked.

“Nishinoya?” Tsukishima couldn't quite believe his eyes. “Am I dreaming?”

“I'm honored that you'd dream of me, but no,” Nishinoya grinned. “Welcome to Thunder Surfing Gear!”

“Karasuno!” Bokuto yelled, jumping out of the supply closet with a huge smile while Akaashi peeked from behind a surfboard.

“Hey!” Nishinoya gave them both a broad wave. “Nice to see you guys again!”

Tsukishima finally picked himself off the floor, still looking at Nishinoya as if he was about to vanish like a fata morgana. When was the last time they had seen each other? It had to be at least two years – ever since Tsukishima had moved to Tokyo. So this kind of blasé reaction was more than insulting.

“You don't seem too surprised to see me fall out of your closet,” Tsukishima accused.

“Well, it's something of a common occurrence around here,” Nishinoya simply shrugged. “Just last week, Hinata fell out of this exact same closet with another guy. They were in a much more compromising position, though.”

“Ugh,” was all Tsukishima had to say while Bokuto started yelling, “Shouyou's here?”

“I'm sure he's still around, if you'd like to meet up sometime,” Nishinoya said.

“That can wait,” Tsukishima interrupted. He was not ready to think about who else was running around on this remote island they had chosen for a vacation spot. “We're looking for someone else right now. Have you seen Kuroo around here?”

“Who?”

“Nekoma rooster head,” Akaashi corrected, gloating when Nishinoya recognized the description.

“No, sorry. There haven't been any customers yet today. But congratulations Tsukki, wasn't that the guy you were-”

Knowing Nishinoya was just about to blurt out something bad, Tsukishima grabbed the surfboard that had stood on his toes and hit him right on the head. Nishinoya fell to the floor like a stone.

“What do you know,” Tsukishima marveled. “These things really make great murder weapons.”

Just then, the actual and completely normal looking door to the shop opened with the tinkle of a bell. Another familiar face walked in, distorting itself into an even more familiar expression once it saw its best friend being attacked by the surfboard killer.

“HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE-”

That was about as far as Tanaka got before he recognized Tsukishima and his face changed to a less than happy surprise.

“Ack!” Tanaka said.

“Ack!” Tsukishima answered in kind, imitating the face. “Am I in Miyagi? Have I just forgotten about the beaches and the palm trees?”

Nishinoya chose that moment to jump back on his feet as if nothing had happened. “They all came to visit me! This is my turf now, you should get used to that very quickly. I'm a pretty famous face around here, I know everyone and everyone knows me.”

“You have the smallest, door-less shop in the whole town and haven't had a customer all day,” Tsukishima corrected. “Anyway, if Kuroo isn't here, then we're wasting our time. By now some market salesman could have talked him into selling his car to pay for a four-man tandem or something equally stupid.”

“That would be so cool!” Bokuto shot out from behind a shelf he had been inspecting. “Tsukki, you have the best ideas!”

“And that's our reminder to never let them go off together again,” Akaashi sighed. “Come on, let's go look for Kuroo.”

They said goodbye to Tsukishima's old team-mates, got an ominous “We'll be in touch!” in return and left through the door that spat them out on the street as if it had always been there.

Bokuto announced that he'd be right there and disappeared back into the shelves, where he hopefully hadn't found any surf leash with a cute dinosaur or shark pattern.

“What do we do now?”Akaashi asked just when the phone in Tsukishima's pant pocket started to ring.

Glancing at the screen, Tsukishima turned and opened the door to the surf shop again. Bokuto was at the counter, positioned in a way where Tsukishima couldn't tell what he was buying. Tanaka was grinning at him with a phone in his hand.

“Why are you already bothering me?” Tsukishima asked.

“Just checking if we still have the right number,” Tanaka chirped. “Wouldn't want to run into you after years and then have no way of staying in touch, right?”

Tsukishima threw the door closed, turning back to exchange an annoyed look with Akaashi, only to find that Akaashi had completely blanked out.

“What's wrong?” Tsukishima asked.

“I think we are the ones who shouldn't be allowed to walk around without supervision,” Akaashi said, his voice pained. “Have we all just collectively forgotten that we own phones?”

Tsukishima felt like throwing his own phone at the wall. How could he have forgotten about that? Somehow, being in Akaashi's and Bokuto's company seemed to make him stupid in the head.

Instead of throwing his phone at the wall, he called Kuroo's number. It was picked up after only one ring.

“Tsukki!” Kuroo cheered. “Is everything okay? Have you found Bokuto?”

“THEY FOUND ME!” Bokuto, who had just come out of the shop with a mystery bag, yelled into the phone. “Bro, where the hell are you? We were looking everywhere for you!”

“I was just shopping,” Kuroo said, making Tsukishima's and Akaashi's flesh crawl in fear. “We can meet up at the entrance. There was a stall selling deep fried fish that looked delicious.”

“We'll be there in ten minutes,” Bokuto promised.

Tsukishima ended the call and pocketed the phone, walking off into the direction of the meet-up place. He was still feeling a little light-headed from running into his old friends here of all places. He had known that Nishinoya was off at the beach somewhere, there had been enough photos going around the group chat to be informed, but he had stopped reading the paragraph-long descriptions of the others' lives at some point and concentrated on his own.

Now, with apparently half of his high school team-mates running wild, this vacation suddenly felt a little invaded. Maybe he should have met up with them some more, simply so the universe wouldn't feel inclined to make him run into them just when he was busy enjoying time with his three crushes.

_No, wait! This is a good thing!_ he told himself after a moment of wistful consideration. _You're in denial, remember?_

“Found him,” Akaashi commented from a few paces behind.

Tsukishima hadn't even realized they had already reached their destination, but he caught sight of Kuroo's hair immediately.

“Tsukki!”

Kuroo was beaming.

Tsukishima was frowning.

Kuroo was adorned with about a million bags.

“Doesn't look like a four-man-tandem, at least,” Akaashi mumbled. “Unless he bought it as some kind of assemble-yourself version.”

“What the hell were you doing?” Tsukishima asked, once he came to a halt in front of Kuroo, eyeing the bags suspiciously.

“Just grocery shopping,” Kuroo said, opening a bag to show an assortment of rice, fruits and vegetables. “So we can cook some meals back in the cottage.”

“Oh,” said Tsukishima. He didn't feel bad for believing Kuroo would spend all their money on stupid things, except he did. A little.

Akaashi seemed to share his feeling. “We are both horrible, prejudiced people,” he said, bumping Tsukishima with his shoulder. “We should make it up to him somehow.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about, but that sounds good,” Kuroo grinned. “Treat me to some deep-fried fish!”

“You mean... _this_ deep-fried fish?” Bokuto asked, looking at the stall Kuroo had meant, a little green in the face. “Kuroo, this is literally just an entire fish... deep-fried!”

If even Bokuto was grossed-out by the dish, Tsukishima didn't have high hopes for his own taste buds. But for once he kept his comments to himself. They ended up buying six fish – three for Kuroo, one for everyone else, and kept them in one of the bags so they could eat it at the beach.

They took a little detour to the parking space, where Kuroo's car was silently stewing in the sun, to exchange their grocery bags for their beach bags. That was when Kuroo unpacked the first of his unnecessary market gadgets.

“What the hell is this?” Tsukishima asked, eyeing the huge, colorful foil-thingy Kuroo was unrolling across his car.

“It's a sun cover for my baby!” Kuroo said. “Look, Tsukki, it has a shark print! It's so cute!”

Tsukishima just hoped that whatever stall he had bought it from didn't have any other things, say a surf leash, with the exact same print.

Akaashi caught Tsukishima's eye, shaking his head a little. “It's fine,” he whispered. “This is not _completely_ useless.”

“So I still have to eat that fish?” Tsukishima whispered back.

“I vote completely useless,” Bokuto butted in.

Kuroo stared at them over the roof of his car. “Could you all stop whispering and maybe help me with this?”

Once the car was wrapped up like a Christmas present, they took their gross-looking fish and their beach bags and walked off towards the beach, which was not too far away. Most people were still at the market, so it was not overcrowded, even though it was a lot fuller than the beach behind their cottage. They found a relatively private place around some boulders at the back of the beach and adorned it with their towels, two wonky looking beach chairs and a huge umbrella.

Tsukishima and Akaashi were the only ones decent enough to wear their swimming trunks under their normal pants.

“If you expose yourself on this beach, you'll be arrested,” Tsukishima lied. “I read that online.”

“Fine,” Bokuto shrugged. “Kuroo, can you hold the towel for me?”

“Anytime, honey!”Kuroo wrapped his huge towel around Bokuto's middle, giving him some room to change by leaving it open at the front, covering the view with his own body.

“Oh, this is much nicer to look at than this morning's freezing shower,” Kuroo said, winking in Tsukishima's direction.

“Gross!” Tsukishima fake-gagged. “There are changing cubicles literally right over there!”

“He's right!” Bokuto cheered. “We _should_ go into one of those cubicles together!”

“I never said-” Tsukishima started, but Akaashi interrupted him with a hand on his arm.

“You realize you're just encouraging them, right?”

Tsukishima bit his mouth back shut with a click of his teeth. Akaashi was right. It was better to ignore them, before they revealed any more casually sexual interactions that Tsukishima was not equipped to understand. He had thought that stuff limited itself to drunken antics - some showy kisses on the dance floor combined with big mouths that liked to joke. If they really were sleeping together, then Tsukishima didn't know what to do with that.

“Hurry up, I want to eat!” Akaashi said, extending a shy arm out of the sunshade to grab at the plastic bags containing their fish. That did the trick. Suddenly, both Bokuto and Kuroo were in their swimming trunks, throwing their towels back into the sand to sit down on them.

Tsukishima was hit by a wave of grease smell once the fish was unpacked, and he gagged again.

“Maybe it's better than it looks,” Bokuto said bravely. He was holding his own fish by its tail, only using the fingertips. It looked like he would just hold it over his head and swallow it whole, but instead he took a careful nibble.

“You're not dead yet,” Tsukishima said, watching him make a face. “So that's a good sign.”

“It's crunchy,” Bokuto said. “And soft at the same time. I can't eat this – it's confusing my senses!”

Kuroo was already munching on a big bite, looking like he was ascending to heaven. He and Bokuto wore polar opposite expressions, so Tsukishima could only look at Akaashi for guidance.

“Are you not eating?” he asked when he saw Akaashi with empty hands.

“What do you mean?” Akaashi munched. “It's delicious!”

“Are you...” Tsukishima looked at Akaashi's hands again. “Are you _done_?”

“Akaashi, you have taste buds!” Kuroo whooped. “Here, take another one of mine!”

Tsukishima couldn't believe it – while he had concentrated on Bokuto, thinking he'd witness a formidable display of one-bite feeding, he had missed Akaashi doing that very same thing.

“What part do I even eat so I don't accidentally take a bite of something gross?” Bokuto whined.

“That's the beauty of this dish,” Kuroo explained with his mouth full. “You're not wasting a single part of the fish.”

Tsukishima could understand Bokuto's horrified look at that answer. “While I agree with that sentiment,” he said, “it's simply not respectful to deep-fry delicate and delicious fish meat and make it taste like grease. We might as well be eating a rat, there's no need to kill a fish for it.”

“That's right!” Bokuto nodded grimly. “We might as well be eating a shoe!”

“I'll take it, if you guys hate it that much,” Kuroo offered generously. “But Tsukki, you could at least try it!”

“Fine,” Tsukishima relented. “But only because I'm dying of hunger.”

He imitated Bokuto's careful nibble at a safe looking part of the fish. As he had predicted, it tasted exactly like something doused in grease. It wasn't delicious, but it was edible.

“You're right, Bokuto – this might be a shoe,” Tsukishima said, easily falling into Bokuto's theatricality. “I just can't discern if this bite was the sole or the laces.”

While Bokuto laughed, Kuroo sounded entirely unamused. “Give it to Akaashi, then. He's already done with his second serving.”

“And he looks like he's just about to fall dead into the sand!” Tsukishima said, only just noticing how Akaashi was swaying heavily next to him.

“Just full,” Akaashi yawned. His head came down to rest on Tsukishima's shoulder. “I get tired after eating.”

As if the closeness of their almost naked bodies wasn't bad enough, Bokuto started to coo at the two of them. Tsukishima immediately lost his appetite. He couldn't take another bite out of the questionable street food. 

“Someone has to take this fish off me, before I puke,” he warned.

Kuroo burped a negative. “I had two already. I'll probably sink as soon as I try to go in the water.”

Bokuto was still holding the remains of his own fish, carefully picking at it.

From Tsukishima's right shoulder came an, “Aaaah...” - the sound of an open mouth waiting to be fed.

“I thought you were full!” Tsukishima said.

Akaashi shrugged weakly. “I can't let it go to waste.”

Feeding a lethargic Akaashi leaning on his shoulder was not exactly what Tsukishima had imagined when he wanted to get rid of the fish. But now he didn't have a choice. At least feeding him greasy fish was not as painfully hot as, say, grapes would have been.

“Bite-sized, please!” Akaashi demanded, when Tsukishima simply pushed the fish in his face.

Tsukishima threw an angry look at Bokuto and Kuroo, who were watching them with barely suppressed giggles.

“This is not the zoo!” he said. “You don't have to sit here and watch the animal feeding. Go swim!”

Against his expectations, Kuroo got up and brushed some sand off his thighs, pulling Bokuto up right after. “Sure,” he said. “We'll leave you guys alone. Have fun!”

They ran off, leaving a steaming Tsukishima behind. “Idiots!” he spat after them.

“I'm still waiting to be fed,” Akaashi said. Tsukishima couldn't see his face due to the visor cap on his head, so he could only guess where Akaashi's mouth was. Akaashi spluttered when he had a piece of fish pressed into his nose.

Good! Tsukishima was determined to make this as unsexy as possible. For all he knew, Akaashi was doing it on purpose.

“Wrong hole!” Akaashi said, turning his head so now his chin was resting on Tsukishima's shoulder and the visor almost brushed Tsukishima's nose. Tsukishima was sure he saw the hint of a smirk on his face.

So he was definitely doing it on purpose! Being this close was not normal, Tsukishima was sure of that. Even between some very touchy-feely and open friends. Even when he was overly aware of every one of those moments and touches.

“Aaah...” Akaashi said again, opening his mouth in wait for his next bite.

“Fish-breath!” Tsukishima said, which only made Akaashi blink his eyes at him until Tsukishima gave in and pushed the next bite into his mouth, quickly retreating his fingers before Akaashi could do something weird like suck on them.

“Mhmm, so good!” Akaashi sighed. “More, please!”

It was pure torture. Tsukishima didn't know where to look or what to say, and Akaashi – even though he had inhaled the other two portions – took his sweet time chewing and moaning only inches from Tsukishima's face.

Once the damned fish was finally all gone, Akaashi collapsed into Tsukishima's body with a heavy groan.

“I can't move for the rest of the day!” he announced. “Don't mind me.”

“I _do_ mind!” Tsukishima said. “You're heavy!”

“Hmmm... fine. I'll move. But for a price.”

Tsukishima didn't say anything until Akaashi told him what the price was.

“You have to put sunscreen on me.”

“No way,” Tsukishima refused immediately. If there was one thing worse than feeding Akaashi only inches from his own face, it would be to rub sunscreen all over his body.

“Please, Tsukishima! I'm going to fall asleep in two minutes, I can feel it! Do you want me to burn to a crisp?”

“Get one of the others to do it!”

Akaashi glanced towards the sea, where Kuroo and Bokuto could be seen hanging on to what looked to be an inflatable nyan-cat. It was hard to tell, since they were so far out.

“Where did they get that from?” Akaashi wondered.

“Kuroo's market loot, I bet,” Tsukishima growled. “That asshole deceived us!”

“I don't think they would hear us if we called for them,” Akaashi said, turning back to look at Tsukishima. The half-lidded eyes, which showed off his long lashes, had too much power this close to Tsukishima's face. “I'm moving, like I promised. Look!”

In a rather theatrical display, Akaashi rolled off Tsukishima and over to his own towel, where he came to a halt, lying on his stomach.

“Look!” he yawned. “I'm just lying here like a stranded whale, not doing anything. You decide if you want to help me.”

He looked anything but a stranded whale. Tsukishima sent one last hopeful look towards the sea, where Kuroo and Bokuto were still too far out to be called for help. And it's not like he could let Akaashi know how much trouble it was for Tsukishima to put a little sunscreen on his body.

_Just don't be weird about it_ , Tsukishima told himself and reached for the bottle of sunscreen sticking out of an open bag.

Akaashi didn't react when the cold lotion hit his skin. Maybe he had already fallen asleep – that would be the best option. But when Tsukishima put the bottle aside and started to rub the lotion across his back, Akaashi destroyed his hopes with a drawn-out moan.

This was pure torture.

It was pure... _payback_!, Tsukishima realized suddenly.

He had dared to tease Akaashi for his phobia of fish earlier at the market and now Akaashi was doing everything in his power to make him pay for it.

Which meant that Akaashi knew fully well he could make Tsukishima uncomfortable by flirting with him. Which meant that Akaashi knew flirting with Tsukishima affected him. Which meant...

Did Akaashi know about his crush?

Akaashi wouldn't use it to lead him on, which meant...

“Hm, right there,” Akaashi breathed, seeming completely out of it. His eyes were closed, the visor cap had tumbled off his head when he had rolled over, and his hair stuck off his head in every direction.

No... Tsukishima recanted all his suspicions. He had fallen for this train of thought so many times before, it had started to drive him crazy. With Kuroo and Bokuto hinting that they had started to sleep together and Akaashi so overtly coming on to him, their pairing-off would start to look obvious in Tsukishima's head. Until about five minutes later, when something would happen that jumbled it all up again.

Tsukishima was better off denying everything.

“Harder!” Akaashi demanded.

“I'm not giving you a massage here, I'm just rubbing some lotion on you!” Tsukishima said, but he didn't even know why he was arguing, because he had already started to knead Akaashi's shoulders and was rewarded with another long moan. Had Akaashi completely forgotten that there were other people around? Tsukishima could only hope that the sounds of the wind, the kids playing and the screaming seagulls would drown out the very suggestive moans coming from their spot.

“Legs, please,” Akaashi mumbled, kicking up his shins. Tsukishima was thankful to let go of Akaashi's shoulders, hoping that his legs would make him moan less, but of course it turned out to be the opposite. As soon as Tsukishima touched his thighs, Akaashi's whole body braced against the touch and he released a strained groan into the towel.

“Tense spot?” Tsukishima asked, feeling a bit of sadism flare up. He pushed his thumbs into the back of Akaashi's thighs and almost made him jump out of his lying position.

“You monster!” Akaashi groaned. “I would kill you if this didn't feel so good.”

“Death threats are my thing,” Tsukishima said, slowly massaging Akaashi's thighs and enjoying the suppressed sounds Akaashi made. “Don't steal my thing.”

Akaashi didn't have the strength to snark back, he was too busy cursing into the towel, the muscles in his legs constricting to fight Tsukishima's massage. This was a lot more fun than before, now that Akaashi was at his mercy instead of the other way round. Tsukishima decided to give him a little break, but only for the time it took to squeeze some more lotion out of the bottle, then he was right back to rubbing the lotion into his skin, until Akaashi started to seriously squirm under his touch.

“Please, I'm going to cry!” Akaashi moaned. “I will never make you do this again, I promise!”

Tsukishima showed some mercy and finally moved on to Akaashi's shins, which didn't seem to be quite as sensitive.

Akaashi moved onto his back once he was done, and Tsukishima finally realized his mistake. Akaashi was breathing hard, his eyes glazed and heavy. It was a picture that Tsukishima had never seen outside of his most shameful dreams.

“You can do the rest yourself,” he quickly said, turning his eyes away.

“Are you kidding?” Akaashi huffed. He raised his arm to show how much it was trembling. “I was tired before, but now you completely offed me!”

“But-”

“At least finish what you started!” Akaashi said in a voice that didn't leave room for argument.

Tsukishima looked around again, but still, there was nobody who could get him out of this predicament, so he took the bottle back into his hands and squeezed another blob onto the front of Akaashi's shins, spreading it carefully.

This time, when he reached the thighs, the reaction from before was missing. Instead, Akaashi made approving little sounds in the back of his throat the higher up Tsukishima got.

“Higher!” Akaashi said, when Tsukishima cowardly retreated before he had reached the hem of the swim shorts. “Do you want me to look like an idiot when I have two red rings around my thighs?”

“You already look like an idiot in your kids' hat and the shiny white face!” Tsukishima said to distract himself from what he was doing with his hands. To his disappointment, Akaashi didn't say anything to that. He looked Tsukishima right in the eyes, still half-lidded and glossy, daring him to retreat again.

When Tsukishima reached the swim shorts, Akaashi was still looking at him like that.

It was hypnotizing. Tsukishima couldn't do anything but stare back, painfully aware of his fingertips breaching the line into intimacy. His thumbs rubbed along the soft flesh of Akaashi's thighs, but he couldn't stop now. He was lost in Akaashi's sinful eyes, like a swooning princess, completely succumbed to his will. The moment lasted until Akaashi's breath audibly hitched. Tsukishima pulled his hands out of Akaashi's pants as if he had gotten burned and Akaashi let his head fall back onto the towel, hiding his eyes behind his arms.

They were both idiots, at least. Horrible, horny idiots, who were dumb enough to let something like this come into their friendship. They were not Bokuto and Kuroo, who would just shrug it off as being 'young and potent' – this would make it hard for them to look into each other's eyes for the rest of the trip.

Tsukishima grabbed the sunscreen bottle and squeezed another spluttering blob out onto Akaashi's chest. He had become so good at the whole denial thing that he could simply act like this had never happened. Just delete the memory out of his system and continue on like usual. Akaashi didn't possess the same talent. Tsukishima could see his ears and cheeks burn red beneath his arms, which took a while to inch down enough that Akaashi's eyes became visible, giving Tsukishima a shy look.

“There, all done,” Tsukishima said, once he had calmly spread the rest of the lotion across Akaashi's torso. “Except...” Tsukishima cocked his head. He was not used to Akaashi being more affected by their flirting than he was. Suddenly he understood what was so enticing about it.

Leaning closer into Akaashi's space, he studied him for a moment.

“What?” Akaashi squeaked, his red tinted face growing even darker.

“Oh my... I think while we were busy with the rest of your body, you completely burned your face. It's beet red!”

Akaashi looked like he was about to die from a gruesome case of spontaneous head combustion. There was nothing he could say to correct Tsukishima, without admitting that he was blushing hard. He laid there, paralyzed from shock, while Tsukishima squeezed a bit of sunscreen into his hands, spreading it in tortuously slow circles over Akaashi's cheeks and nose, all the while hovering way too close.

Payback was so sweet, Tsukishima forgot to be affected by his own actions. This served Akaashi right. This would definitely make him stop with his cheeky flirting.

“I think we're good,” Tsukishima finally said, sitting back up. He was afraid that Akaashi would never start to breathe again, but then Akaashi sat up right after him, shooting him a poisonous look.

Whatever had been on his lips got drowned out by Bokuto's hollering.

Tsukishima looked over to where Bokuto and Kuroo were both running towards them, dripping wet from their swim, the nyan-cat sticking out from between Kuroo's legs as if he were riding it.

Perfect timing.

“Akaashiiii!” Bokuto hooted, coming to a halt before them. “You have to come into the water, it's soooo refreshing!”

“Bokuto, if you dare touch me-” Akaashi started, but his voice had lost its magic and Bokuto could not be stopped. He grabbed Akaashi under the arms and lifted him over his shoulder as if he weighed nothing.

“BOKUTO!” Akaashi screeched as he was carried off, kicking and screaming.

Tsukishima watched them from his comfortable spot under the shade and could not help a content smile forming on his lips.

Kuroo didn't miss it, of course. He plopped down next to Tsukishima, spraying him with water in the process.

“Having fun?” Kuroo asked, flashing him a happy grin. His hair was wet and sticking to his head for once – under normal circumstances, Tsukishima would have tried hard not to look at Kuroo, since he was way too attractive with his hair down. But right now, he was filled with a remnant of cockiness and strength.

“Absolutely,” he said, smirking into the distance, where Bokuto had just dropped Akaashi into the sand and was busy running after him, yelling apologies. “What can I say? It's a beautiful day.”

“Tsukki!” Kuroo pressed his hands to his heart, looking like he was about to cry. “You make me so happy! This is the best vacation ever!”

“I agree,” Tsukishima admitted, chuckling at Kuroo's exaggerated swooning.

“I have no idea what has you in such a good mood, but there has never been a better time to try this,” Kuroo said. When Tsukishima looked over, he had picked the stray bottle of sunscreen out of the sand.

“I really need a new layer. Would you do me the honors?”

“Kuroo...” Tsukishima said.

It was almost amazing how Kuroo always managed to say the _exact_ wrong thing at the best moments.

“I would rather jump right into a swarm of box jellyfish swimming by, wearing a crown-of-thorns starfish as a hat. While my body is covered in poisonous geography cone snails and a Habu snake is biting my-”

“Alright, I got it.”

“My penis, Kuroo. I'm just gonna come out and say it. While a Habu snake is biting my penis. That's how much I don't want to-”

“I said I got it!”

“Good!” Tsukishima turned back with a smile plastered to his lips, leaving Kuroo with a thousand-yard-stare.

Maybe he should have felt bad about that, but Tsukishima had already erased the whole thing from his memory.

Denial was truly amazing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [essrambles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doggoneit/profile) betaed this again <3 klick the link for some super heartbreaking kurotsukki that i'm like much muuuch too soft to read >.<

Bokuto and Tsukishima didn't make it far into the day without some actual food in their stomachs, so they went to find a vending stall not far from the beach.

Once they returned, each with a delicious pork-egg onigiri in hand, they found Akaashi and Kuroo lying under the shade, both completely wrapped up in their towels, looking like two glum, stranded sea cucumbers.

Bokuto said what they were both thinking.

“This is our doing.”

“Well, mostly mine,” Tsukishima admitted, biting into his onigiri. 

“Aww, Tsukki! Are you taking responsibility?” Bokuto squinted his eyes a little. “... or credit?”

Muffled from his towel-shell came a weak, “Leave us alone!” out of the Kuroo-burrito. Tsukishima kept standing there, eating his onigiri, and looking down at the two of them. If they wanted to be dramatic, then he wasn't going to stop them. 

“Fine then. Bokuto and I will just go off together. I'm sure nothing bad will happen with just Bokuto and me, completely unsupervised,” Tsukishima munched. 

He noticed the two sea cucumbers share a fearful look, but they didn't say anything, so Tsukishima just shrugged his shoulders, turning towards the sea. Bokuto had already jumped to free the inflatable nyan-cat from where it had been buried in the sand so it wouldn't fly away with the wind.

They made it halfway across the beach before Kuroo broke out of his shell, running after them.

“Fine, you win!” he yelled. “Just...” he caught up, taking the nyan-cat out of Bokuto's arms. “Give me her. She did nothing wrong!”

“What's with Akaashi?” Bokuto wondered, looking back. “Is he not coming?”

“He needs some more time to recover,” Tsukishima said matter-of-factly.

Kuroo, busy brushing the sand from his stupid nyan-cat, gave a pitiful sigh. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing!” Tsukishima insisted. “He thought it would be a funny idea to force me to put sunscreen on him. Turns out it wasn't so funny after all.”

“Ah!” Bokuto said wisely. “You tickled him. He gets like that when he's tickled.”

“Sure,” Tsukishima said, evading Kuroo's skeptical eyes. At least Kuroo seemed to gain his good mood back, now that he knew Tsukishima's rejection to put lotion on him wasn't personal. 

“Alright!” Bokuto clapped his hands. “Let's go! Kuroo, you grab your long cat, I'll grab my long dog!”

Before Tsukishima had the time to decipher what that meant, he was picked up and thrown over Bokuto's shoulder like Akaashi had been before, carried off towards the sea at breakneck speed.

“I think we settled on crow for him!” he heard Kuroo call. He wasn't sure, since he was screaming in rage. Moments later, he was dropped into the water, which got deep surprisingly fast, Bokuto laughing in his ears. As usual, there was way too much unnecessary physical contact, which prevented him from getting truly angry. At least when he acted angry, his bright red face could be explained. 

Kuroo was already floating behind him, grinning at him. “Long dog,” he chuckled. “Bokuto just called you a wiener.” 

“Don't you ever learn?” Tsukishima spat at Bokuto. “No one likes this!” He splashed water in his face, just to get some distance between them. Luckily, Kuroo was too busy disagreeing with him to jump at the splash fight.

“I would! If he were strong enough to pick me up!”

“I'm _training_ for that!” Bokuto howled. “Come here, we can act like it in the water!”

“Yes, great idea!” Tsukishima said. He snatched the inflatable cat out from under Kuroo. That way, he had a barrier between himself and the others, while Kuroo eagerly jumped into Bokuto's arms, where he was welcomed with a hug that soon progressed into the princess-style hold he had been promised the day before.

“Oh my God!” Kuroo moaned, almost melting. Tsukishima floated a little further away. “This feels _so good_! Tsukki, how can you not love this?”

“He just threw me over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes!”

Bokuto jumped at that, beaming at him. “I can hold you like this!” he promised. “We should try it!”

Tsukishima paddled even further away, just to be safe. It didn't look like Bokuto would immediately let go of Kuroo. They were spinning around in the water now, Kuroo closing his eyes in bliss. 

“I feel so protected,” he mumbled, giggling when Bokuto pressed a kiss against his forehead. Tsukishima couldn't help but feel like an intruder. Just when he was about to float away for good, Kuroo's hand suddenly reached out, digging into the nyan-cat's rainbowy behind. 

“Where do you think you're going?” he smirked, pulling Tsukishima back in like a fisherman. “Are you that afraid of a little romance?”

“No,” Tsukishima said, trying hard for a neutral expression. “In fact, I have recently learned exactly what a romantic situation between friends needs.”

He waited the extra second for the memory to come back and the fear to show in Kuroo's eyes, before he splashed a load of water on him. 

Bokuto, never one to miss out on good fun, used his position to push Kuroo under water, diving away before Kuroo could recover and get revenge. 

Their splash fight lasted for quite a while – Tsukishima using his stolen nyan-cat like a shield while Kuroo was stuck in the middle, completely outnumbered, just turning around to defend both sides against incoming attacks. Now that he was standing up, it was more difficult to drown him, but Bokuto managed it at least two times more. 

By the time they stumbled out of the water, the sun had gotten so hot, they didn't even need their towels to dry off. The water evaporated right off their skin.

Akaashi had evolved from his sea cucumber state into a sitting position while they had been gone. He was wearing an innocent little smile when Tsukishima got closer and he seemed to have put on a new layer of sunscreen recently, his face shining evilly. 

“What did you do?” Tsukishima asked.

“I made dinner plans,” Akaashi said. “Why are you asking me like it’s an accusation?”

Kuroo was considering Akaashi with the same distrustful look as Tsukishima did. “Nah, Tsukki’s right,” he said. “You _did_ do something.”

“He didn’t put any sand in our bags to make them heavier,” Bokuto announced from where he was kneeling before all of their upended bags, just shaking the last one to check for sand. Akaashi regarded him with a bored look while Tsukishima and Kuroo groaned. 

“Of course not!” Tsukishima bellowed. “He’s not a five-year-old playing a prank! He’s evil incarnate!”

“Please, Tsukishima,” Akaashi frowned. “That’s really uncalled for. After all, I was the one left behind to watch all of your stuff and play secretary while you went off to have fun.”

“Secretary!” Tsukishima and Kuroo yelled at the same time. They shared a look, trying to figure out what that could mean.

“Maybe he made a list with all our weaknesses,” Kuroo mused.

“Why would that be something a secretary does?” Tsukishima asked dryly. 

“Well… how should I know what a secretary does?” Kuroo whined. “I mean… making lists. Writing down things. Sounds very secretarianian to me!”

“How about taking phone calls for other people and making appointments?” Bokuto offered, blinking up at them from between all the stuff he had upended in the sand. 

Tsukishima turned to give Kuroo a disappointed look. “Are you ashamed, Kuroo?”

“I kinda am,” Kuroo admitted, hanging his head. “But more importantly…”

Tsukishima spun back around to glare at Akaashi. Just by looking at that fake angelic face, he knew what had transpired.

“My phone,” he said, reaching out his hand. 

His phone was dropped into his hand. Akaashi had been sitting on it like a brooding hen, anticipating this very moment with barely concealed glee. Why Tsukishima had thought it was a good idea to tease Akaashi all day long was beyond him. He _knew_ how dangerous it was. If the last five years had taught him anything, it was that Akaashi Keiji carried grudges better than Bokuto carried people.

“You’re the devil,” Tsukishima said, before he had even opened his call-list and confirmed what he already knew. 

“They wouldn’t stop calling. It was annoying,” Akaashi shrugged.

“Do you even realize that you’ll be forced to attend this dinner?” Tsukishima said. “You met them today! You _know_ how hyper they are. This is only our first day – do you really want to be completely exhausted by the first day of this trip?”

“It’s the second day,” Akaashi said, but Tsukishima could see that his words did not miss their mark entirely. Akaashi was just starting to realize what he had done. Once again, his plan for revenge had turned into self-sabotage. After a beat, he added, “My head’s not working right in this kind of heat. I’m not made for it.”

“Is it embarrassing to admit that I have no idea what’s going on?” Bokuto asked, sitting down next to Akaashi with the bottle of sunscreen he had dug up from the sand. He started to rub it onto Akaashi’s back without needing to be asked and without a hint of shame. 

“Oh, good – I was starting to think I left my brain at home,” Kuroo said, reaching for a clean towel. “What are the two of you on about?”

In place of an answer, Tsukishima just presented his phone to him, where the name ‘Tanaka’ filled out the entire length of the screen.

“Who’s that?” Kuroo asked.

“Karasuno monk head,” Akaashi said, carefully avoiding Tsukishima’s evil eye. “We’re having dinner with some of Tsukishima’s old friends today.”

“Is that all?” Kuroo laughed. “This could all have been so much worse.”

It could not have been any worse.

When Tsukishima walked through the restaurant door that evening, he was not only presented with the perfect shine on a bald head and the poked-a-finger-into-a-socket-hairdo, but also with a bright orange nest of weeds jumping towards him as soon as he was spotted.

“TSUKISHIMAAAA!” Hinata announced his name to the whole restaurant. “YOU’RE SO MUCH TALLER THAN I REMEMBER!”

“I only grew another two centimeters, but I guess to you, that’s a lot more than it is to me.”

Hinata’s grip on him turned into a chokehold. “And you’re even more insufferable than I remember, too!” he said, patting his back with more force than was needed. 

Tsukishima was only freed when Bokuto walked in behind him and the two immediately fell into their “CHIBI-CHAAAN! – BOKUTOOO!”-routine. 

“It’s so loud already,” Akaashi sighed, but there was a smile tugging at his lips as soon as Hinata came to greet him with a hug. He looked like a proud parent, patting Hinata's hair. 

“Hey!” Nishinoya had turned around, hanging half over the back of his chair. “You still haven't found your missing rooster head?”

“Did that rooster head just call me a rooster head?” Kuroo asked, walking in at that exact moment. He'd been left behind to load everything into the trunk, because the cheap cover he had bought had melted right onto his car and no one had consented to help him peel it off. He looked a little winded, but Nishinoya grinned at him so brightly that Kuroo couldn't help but grin back. 

“Get over here already!” Tanaka yelled at them when Hinata let go of Akaashi to smother Kuroo in a hug, too. “I'm hungry!”

They all gathered around the table, which was too small for their big group, and Tsukishima – trying hard to escape his old teammates, ended up squashed on a bench between Kuroo and Akaashi. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Hinata asked, jumping up and down in his seat until Tanaka pushed him down by his shoulder. “Are you playing beach volleyball, too?”

“Surfing,” Akaashi said, which made Hinata turn to Tsukishima with glowing eyes.

“You never told me you can-”

“That's because he can't,” Kuroo said, laying a teasing arm over Tsukishima's shoulder. “Once again, he's but a little fledgling, having to be taught by his upperclassmen-”

“Who are _all_ amazing surfers,” Bokuto interposed, “especially-”

Nishinoya added to the helter-skelter conversation with a whoop. “We could totally join you – no one taught Tsukki as much as-”

“HUNGRY!” Tanaka roared.

Tsukishima couldn't keep track of what anyone was saying in this cursed conversation. No one was able to finish their sentences, with the exception of the occasional one-worded roar. Instead he was overly aware of the arm across his shoulder, which Kuroo refused to take back. He busied himself by fiddling with the menu, pretending to read, even though the words blurred before his eyes. 

A hand on his knee brought back some tranquility into this lively scene. Tsukishima turned to find Akaashi looking at him, scrunching his teeth.

“I'm... so sorry!” he pressed out, shaking his head a little. “Truly sorry. I'm a complete idiot and I don't even deserve-”

Keeping with the theme of the evening, Tsukishima interrupted him. “Stop it with the self-flagellation. If you hadn't accepted the invitation, they still would have talked me into meeting up today. So this was inevitable anyway.”

Akaashi gave a relieved nod and kept his hand right on Tsukishima's knee. For once, it didn't turn Tsukishima into a bumbling mess – it grounded him instead. 

“Calm the hell down!” he spat at the wildly chattering table. “We have all evening to catch up. Now look at your menus and decide what you want to order, before Tanaka bites someone's head off!”

“Thank you, Tsukishima!” Tanaka yelled. “You were always my favorite!”

He was quickly silenced with another glare and they all managed to look through their menus without getting distracted again. 

It was mostly fish. Tsukishima wasn't sure if he could eat fish again after that deep-fried mess he had been forced to try earlier at the beach, so he opted for the only vegetarian thing on the menu, a Chanpuru with bitter melon.

Sensing the changed atmosphere at their table, a waitress quickly swooped in to take their orders before it could get loud again. As soon as she was gone, Kuroo – who still had his arm around Tsukishima's shoulder – leaned across the table to grin at Hinata, pulling a spluttering Tsukishima with him.

“Sooo, Hinata. Beach volleyball, huh? What's that like?”

“Amazing!” Hinata beamed. “And super different!”

“Much hornier than normal volleyball,” Tanaka snickered.

“Hey!” Hinata bristled. “It's not 'normal' volleyball, it's 'indoor' volleyball!”

Tsukishima gave a snort. “That's what you're irritated at?”

“Yeah, we wanna hear the scoop!” Bokuto agreed. “What were you doing in Noya's supply closet with another guy, huh? I mean – we've been in there. It's very cozy. Very sexy space.”

There was a piercing look coming from somewhere on the other side of the table – probably Nishinoya – that Tsukishima tried very hard to ignore. He concentrated on Hinata going full carrot.

“I... I never... who told you that?”

“Is it just me or is he blushing orange?” Tsukishima whispered at Akaashi, who spluttered an unexpected giggle. 

More piercing looks were prickling at Tsukishima's periphery. 

“That's kind of a given,” Kuroo answered Hinata's question. “I mean, I wasn't even there, but I can guess.”

Nishinoya shrugged his shoulders and grinned upon Hinata's betrayed frown. “What?” he said. “I've never sworn to secrecy! Besides, how should I have known that only one week later there would be more old teammates falling out of my closet all tangled up into-”

“A bunch of surfboards!” Tsukishima finished, before Nishinoya could lie. “And maybe these things wouldn't happen if you didn't have a huge hole in your wall!”

“Exactly!” Hinata huffed. 

“Why are you sneaking into random holes in walls?” Tanaka smirked. “Don't you guys have hotel rooms to make out in?”

“We have a whole cottage,” Bokuto said proudly, before Tsukishima could jump at the phrasing.

“Ah!” Tanaka said, turning to Nishinoya, “They have a whole cottage to make out in!”

“There is no making out in our cottage!” Tsukishima insisted. “And it's not a 'whole' cottage – it's a ramshackle hut, barely bigger than Nishinoya's supply closet!”

“That's why they came to my closet!” Nishinoya said, eyes wide with fake understanding. “Because it reminded them of-”

“Shut up!”

Surprisingly, that came from Kuroo. 

“They didn't make out in your stupid closet!”

Tsukishima was about to disregard the whole arm-around-the-shoulder-thing and declare Kuroo to his favorite friend tonight, when he had to destroy it again.

“They wouldn't do that without me there!”

After a second of surprised silence, laughter started to bubble up around the table, even though Kuroo hadn't phrased it like a joke. It was a better reaction than Tsukishima had expected, so he played along, rolling his eyes and ignoring the sharper and sharper looks from Nishinoya's direction.

“We might have to borrow Hinata's hotel room, though,” Akaashi said, once the laughter died down.

Hinata, to Tsukishima's annoyance, honestly wondered, “To make out in?”

“No, idiot!” Tsukishima spat. “To take a shower!”

“That's even kinkier!” Tanaka commented. 

Tsukishima decided to graciously ignore him. “We only have an ice cold shower in our backyard and Akaashi and I refuse to present our naked butts to anyone who might decide to take a stroll around the block.”

“There's no need to be ashamed in front of some seagulls,” Bokuto said. “I doubt they have a bigger dick than you.”

Tsukishima was going to kill Bokuto one day. 

“I'm going to kill you one day,” he said, because everyone else was laughing too hard at his expense and he needed to say something.

“Oh!” Bokuto said. He looked at Kuroo, honestly afraid. “I need to change beds with you! Look at him – he's serious this time. I'm in a very vulnerable position when I sleep.”

“He's not going to strangle you,” Kuroo said. “How could he? Look at those spaghetti arms!”

“You'd probably think he wants to cuddle,” Hinata agreed, laughing. 

“Nooo, don't say that!” Bokuto howled. Tsukishima knew that whatever would come out of his mouth next would be bad. _So very bad_. But he was frozen in shocked anticipation, unable to move or say anything. There was simply no way to stop Bokuto – the next words were clear for the whole restaurant to hear.

“Now I will never know if what he's doing are the cuddles he's promised me or an attempted murder!”

The silence after that was sudden and palpable. Hinata was the only one to give a weak chuckle, swallowing it down when he realized no one else showed any kind of reaction.

Bokuto had just ruined Tsukishima's whole vacation.

“Uh-oh!” Kuroo finally whispered. “It will definitely be a murder-attempt now!”

Tsukishima took the arm that weighed heavy on his shoulders and slammed it back down on the table, standing up. 

“I need to go to the bathroom,” he said, voice hollow. Akaashi quickly scrambled out of the way to make space for Tsukishima. 

They were still quiet when Tsukishima stomped away from the table towards the toilets. The whole restaurant seemed to watch his exit. Tsukishima started to realize that a more suave reaction still could have saved this. He could have rolled his eyes again and acted like Bokuto had misunderstood whatever promise Tsukishima had made. But it was too late for that now. 

He entered the bathroom, conscious of closing the door as quietly as possible, to make this nervous meltdown seem less like a nervous meltdown. 

It didn't work. He was just bent over the sink to splash some water onto his face, when the door was opened again. Tsukishima already knew it would be someone from their table. In preparation, he had soaked a paper towel to fling right into Bokuto's face. 

He was already turning around with his ammunition in hand, only slightly perplexed when there were two people standing by each side of the door – but he quickly realized who deserved to have a wet paper towel tossed in the face.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten about said person's reflexes. The towel was expertly dodged and stuck to the door with a wet splash.

Nishinoya blinked at the gross lump for a second before he faced Tsukishima again, eyebrows raised high. 

“Well, well, well,” he said, grin growing bigger with every 'well'. “I was trying to figure out which one of those guys you were crushing on all day long. But I wouldn't have expected Bokuto, of all people.”

“I mean, I get him,” Tanaka said, displaying an even bigger grin. “But what the hell happened with rooster-head?”

“Ugh!” Tsukishima groaned, turning his back to them. Lying was useless. They already knew about Kuroo.

Many years ago, in his second year of high school, there had been a training camp with Nekoma. Tsukishima might have been moping all week leading up to it – to a point, where even Nishinoya and Tanaka had caught on. But it wasn't until they had arrived in Tokyo and a black mess of hair suddenly ran towards them from the distance that they knew what was going on.

It had been Nishinoya's foot which was hit by the full water bottle Tsukishima dropped as soon as Kuroo was standing before him. 

Knowing he would spend time with Kuroo, or Bokuto, or Akaashi – it was bad enough, but at least he could mentally prepare for it. But back then, when he had been but an awkward teenager, never even daring to hope to be noticed by someone two years his senior – to have said senior show up for a practice match just to see him (well... probably not just for that, but he could dream) – it had been too much. He hadn't been able to mask it.

He was pretty sure that he had been blushing across his whole body. _And_ grinning like a loon.

“Who would've known you'd go for that guy,” Nishinoya had whispered at him, later that evening, through a mouthful of toothpaste, while Tanaka patted his back.

“Who would've known you'd go for that guy,” Nishinoya whispered at him right now, in a restaurant bathroom, while Tanaka patted his back. 

Tsukishima probably shouldn't have turned his back towards them.

“Shut the hell up!” he spat, swirling around. “You guys don't know a thing!”

“That's not true!” Tanaka said with mock-hurt. “We know many things! We are very knowlable.”

“Knowledgab-” Tsukishima started to correct, but gave up with a growl. “Ugh! Just... shut the hell up!”

They did not shut the hell up.

“You know...” Nishinoya mused, inspecting his fingernails. “We could always help you. We took an oath to lead and guide you, when we were your upperclassmen. Who's to say that oath is nullified just because we all graduated?”

Tsukishima was still groaning, he realized. He had never stopped. “Who takes an _oath_ for something like that?”

“We take our duties very seriously,” Tanaka claimed. 

“Your duties to annoy me?”

“Our duties to lead and guide you,” Nishinoya said.

Tsukishima was reaching for another paper towel to wet. “I swear, if you say 'lead and guide' one more time!”

“So, how far did you get?” Tanaka asked, disregarding every protest and seemingly unworried about being slapped by a wet paper towel. “You sleep in the same bed and cuddle? Anything further than that?”

“That's not even... we don't-” Tsukishima started, wondering why he even reacted at all. “Shut the hell up!” he said again. 

“That Akaashi guy was with you when you fell out of my closet, so I guess you really weren't making out in there,” Nishinoya mused. “We could always distract those other two, if that's the problem. Make some alone time for you and Bokuto.”

“That's literally the _opposite_ of what...”

Tsukishima paused. 

An idea had just come to him.

A very bad idea, he knew that. But it would deal with a few problems at the same time. 

Besides. Against all expectations, Tanaka and Nishinoya had actually managed to keep his crush on Kuroo a secret for all these years. And they had barely even teased him about it. The worst part had just been Tanaka affirming over and over again that he 'got it'.

“Actually...” Tsukishima found himself saying. 

Both Nishinoya and Tanaka knew not to interrupt him now. Damn them.

“Maybe you can help after all.”

“Yes!” Nishinoya cheered, clapping his hands. “Just tell us what we have to do!”

“Be pests!” Tsukishima said. “Be the biggest pests you can be.”

They exchanged a puzzled look, both regarding Tsukishima with a 'Huh?' at the same time.

It was no use – Tsukishima would have to come clean if he wanted this whole plan to work out.

“You're right, I do have a crush on Bokuto. Unfortunately,” he said. “But... you know. Not... not just him.”

His voice had gotten smaller and smaller with every word, but not small enough for those two vultures to miss. It took them a minute to get it, but finally, Nishinoya slapped his own forehead, exclaiming, “Oh! That makes so much more sense!”

“What? _What?_ ,” Tanaka asked, taking a moment longer to catch on. “You mean...”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima sighed.

“All three of them...”

“Yup,” Tsukishima said. 

“Damn.”

Tsukishima squinted at him, hating that almost impressed look on Tanaka's face. “So – you see!” he said, “I'm in a very confused and vulnerable state right now. I can't even decide which one of them I actually like and it's driving me crazy. And they're not exactly helpful!”

“They are pretty flirty,” Nishinoya agreed. “Do they... do you think they know?”

“I doubt they would lead me on like that,” Tsukishima sighed. “Unfortunately, I think that's just how they are. They have no idea how I feel about them.”

“Hmmm...” Both Tanaka and Nishinoya seemed to be in deep thought. “And how is 'being huge pests' going to help you with this?” Nishinoya finally asked. 

“I need some distance,” Tsukishima said. “Every time I interact with any one of them, they manage to mess with my head. I need you guys to get between any attempt of flirting. Just... shoot it all down! _Especially_ all the damn _touching_!”

“And the one who still continues to come on to you, despite the hard work, will be the one!” Tanaka finished his musings incorrectly. “That's as genius as always!”

“... sure,” Tsukishima lied. “So. Will you help me?”

“Well... I do like to help,” Nishinoya said, looking off into the distance.

“Well...” Tanaka imitated him. “I do like to be a pest.”

“So that's the whole plan then?” Nishinoya asked. “Just try to somehow come between you and them? I guess that's easy enough – but there will be times when you're on your own. We still have a surf shop to man. And it didn't sound like your cottage is big enough for us to spend the night there.”

Tsukishima imagined Nishinoya cuddled up in bed between him and Bokuto, while Tanaka was squashed between Kuroo and Akaashi on the pull-out couch, and he almost started to laugh.

“I'll manage,” he said. “I guess you're officially invited to join our morning surf tomorrow.”

He was about to walk up to the bathroom door and exit it, before anyone started to wonder what they were all doing in there, but Tanaka stopped him.

“We still need a...”

He never finished, drifting off to squint his eyes pensively, until he finally turned back, beaming.

“I got it!” he declared. “We'll call our plan BEAK!”

“Huh?” Tsukishima asked, despite himself.

“BEAK!” Tanaka repeated. “It stands for: Ban Everything; Advances, Kindliness.”

Tsukishima didn't dare deign this with a response, especially since Nishinoya's eyes started to glow, so he turned back around without a word and finally exited the bathroom, taking long, quick strides towards their table.

Everyone was still looking at him when he got back and it was just as quiet as when he had ran away.

Bokuto especially looked like the Grim Reaper himself had appeared before him.

“Are...” Kuroo started, voice getting smaller when Tsukishima's eyes hit him. “Are you okay?”

“No, I'm not okay,” Tsukishima said, looking down at their table. The food had been delivered while they had been in the bathroom. No one had touched their plates yet. He looked back up at Kuroo. “I was forced to eat deep-fried poisoned garbage today and my whole stomach just turned itself inside out!”

Something like understanding dawned on all of their faces. Tsukishima finally had his wits back. He screwed up his nose at the delicious looking Chanpuru sitting at his place. 

“Just looking at that Chanpuru, I feel like running right back into the toilets!”

Behind him, a set of familiar, quick footsteps approached, then Nishinoya was at his side, smiling dependably. “That's such a shame!” he said. “But not a problem. I'll eat your Chanpuru!”

And before anyone could protest or point out how much easier it would have been to change the plates, Nishinoya had climbed right over Akaashi and sat down in Tsukishima's seat. 

Kuroo and Akaashi both looked at the near-stranger in their middle, too confused to say anything, while Tsukishima sat down in the chair between Hinata and Tanaka. There was an impossibly high mountain of meat towering on the plate before him. 

“You ate that fish at the stall right by the entrance?” Hinata asked. He had started to dig in as soon as everyone sat down and his words were barely comprehensible. “You're braver than I thought.”

The old Karasuno team fell back into easy chatter while the 'City Boys', as Tanaka still called them, stayed unnaturally silent. Especially Bokuto looked like he was about to slink down his chair and lie on the floor under their table any minute now.

Tsukishima couldn't look at it any longer. He took a piece of the meat-mountain looming before him and leaned across the table to put it on Bokuto's plate. “Eat this!” he said. “It might neutralize the poison fish in your stomach.”

He earned a warning glance from Tanaka and Nishinoya for his troubles, while Akaashi and Kuroo both looked scandalized by how unfairly forgiving Bokuto was being treated again. To be honest, half the fun of being lenient towards Bokuto was how much it outraged the other two.

“Well, if you're just giving it away now...” Nishinoya said. He had been throwing longing looks at his pile of meat for a while now and Tsukishima couldn't stop him from reaching over the table and taking a few pieces for his own plate. 

“Right, since your stomach is so upset...” Tanaka agreed, and one after the other, they came diving in with their chopsticks, until Tsukishima's plate was empty except for the gross piece of fish Kuroo had placed there halfway through to make sure he'd still eat something after everyone had stolen his meat.

Tsukishima somehow got what he wanted, but it came at the price of being hungry. 

“Our beach volleyball tournament will be held the day after tomorrow,” Hinata said, still through a mouth-full of food, so it sounded more like 'beach bolleyball bourmamen'. “You'll come watch, right?”

“Of course we will,” Kuroo said. “In fact, I think that's when Bokuto planned an activity called 'Dancing with the Sharks', so it's actually perfect.”

“Why do you all hate the activities I planned?” Bokuto whined. He had perked up again after Tsukishima didn't seem to be mad at him. “I only chose stuff with at least four stars on trip advisor!”

“What's the plan for tomorrow?” Akaashi asked with a shudder. 

“Boat cruise!” Bokuto hooted, while Akaashi gave a relieved sigh. 

“Wait...” Akaashi said, remembering not to let his guard down too easily. “When you say 'boat cruise', you don't mean something like... a submarine. Or a banana boat. Or some weird adventurer role-play where we'll be stranded on a desert island, right?”

“I mean a big cruise-boat, silly!” Bokuto laughed. “Don't worry, it will be fine!”

“Is that adventurer role-play a thing?” Hinata asked, eyes aglow. 

“Sounds like a great business idea!” Nishinoya agreed. “We'll call it the Robinson Cruise-oe!”

“You forgot that it was dangerous to open your mouth, Akaashi,” Tsukishima said. “Now look at what you've done. Nishinoya will ruin his entire business because you put this idea into his head.”

Akaashi didn't look too sorry about it. He wore his mischievous little smile, which – even with a whole table between them – still managed to send a warm shiver down Tsukishima's spine. 

“I think anything graced with such a perfect pun-portunity warrants the founding of a company,” he said with a completely straight face. “Bokuto, for example, insists on going to a salon called Hairport. It's an instant customer attraction.”

“That explains so much,” Tsukishima nodded. 

In the end, the evening wasn't the worst thing that could have happened after all. Tsukishima found that he quite enjoyed spending time with his friends, even when he wasn't getting lost in daydreams of varying maturity ratings. The distance Tanaka and Nishinoya had managed to give him was exactly what he had needed. So much so, that he felt a little lost once they said goodbye to the old Karasuno team and returned to the parking lot, where Kuroo's car was still all wrapped up in the shark-patterned cover. He had only managed to scrape it off the window, but it seemed to have mended with the metal.

“Is this just what your car is going to look like now?” Akaashi asked, taking it all in with clear mirth. 

“It's cute!” Bokuto said, laying an arm around Kuroo's middle to give him some support. He was always more generous with closeness in the dark, but this time a final round of sake had left Bukotu clingy and affectionate. Tsukishima never participated in the drinking – not with those things he was feeling. It was too dangerous.

“Why did you let me walk around the market alone?” Kuroo sniffed. “You know I can't resist the siren call of a useless gadget.”

“I think none of us should ever be left alone,” Akaashi agreed. “It's like our brains are part of a giant clockwork that only works when it's fully assembled!”

Tsukishima snickered at that. “You're drunk,” he said, opening the car door for Akaashi. “You always get so philosophical when you're drunk.”

“Shh, don't interrupt them!” Kuroo chided, depositing Bokuto on the passenger seat. “One cup of sake is their ideal tipsiness-level for conversations. Maybe we should start recording them – they would be awesome for a podcast.”

Akaashi gave a dry, “Ha Ha!” from inside the car as Tsukishima and Kuroo secretly grinned at each other. “All I'm saying is that... we... we don't function properly without the others present.”

Tsukishima joined him on the backseat, making sure that his seat-belt was fastened. 

Akaashi was still lost in his musings. “Because our brain is like...”

“... a four-man tandem!” Bokuto finished earnestly. “Just think about it! Three of us riding it together... still kinda hard, but we could manage.”

“Two of us,” Akaashi continued, “straining. Might forget about things like phones.”

“What?” Kuroo asked, just getting behind the wheel. Tsukishima shook his head at him over the rear view mirror. 

“One of us alone?” Akaashi said. 

“Can't even take a curve!” Bokuto nodded. “Can barely even keep upright! Might forget how to ride a bicycle altogether halfway through.”

“I have a feeling like this logic only applies to half the people present,” Tsukishima commented, earning another shush from Kuroo. He was pulling out of the parking lot, driving past a bunch of teenagers who yowled at the ridiculous shark car, but it left Kuroo unbothered. All he wanted was to hear more of Akaashi's and Bokuto's impromptu philosophical debate.

“What's your conclusion?” he asked, as if the ramblings of two tipsy idiots would make for a life-changing epiphany.

“We always stay together, of course!” Bokuto declared, his arms opened towards heaven, like a priest. He suddenly turned to beam at Tsukishima, looking for approval.

“Sure,” Tsukishima said. “When I'm married with kids, I'm sure my spouse won't mind having three guys living in our attic.”

“Can always marry one of us,” came a mumble from Tsukishima's left, where Akaashi had sunken against the broken car door, his eyes already closed. It would be hell to wake him up tomorrow morning. 

Tsukishima's throat felt too dry to answer, but he managed somehow.

“Are you asking for my hand in marriage, Akaashi Keiji?”

Akaashi didn't open his eyes, but a light post they were driving by clearly illuminated a smile on his lips. 

“Let me buy a ring first,” he said, right before the smile transformed into the chubby little pout of the asleep. 

Bokuto, who had been leaning over his seat's backrest to watch them, threw Tsukishima another grin. “You really have to start carrying your own surfboard now,” he said. “Or you will never be able to carry him across the threshold.” 

“You're in no place to say that to anyone!” Kuroo commented, lightly punching Bokuto's thigh. 

They easily continued their bickering, even without Tsukishima participating. He sat in the backseat, engulfed by the dark now that they were driving out of the village and along the seashore towards their little cottage, with only the moon and stars to lend some light to Akaashi's outlines. Tsukishima studied him pensively, unable to tear his eyes away. 

He could picture being married to Akaashi. Could picture a little house in a suburb of the city, could picture them sitting outside on the terrace, playing game after game of chess. Picture the chaotic scenes in the kitchen with both of them bickering over what the mysterious instructions from a recipe blog were supposed to mean. Akaashi's hair in the morning, fanned out like a flower. Their pinky fingers casually intertwined as they were both bent over their specific choice of newspaper.

But.

Would he ever be able to make Akaashi laugh out loud, like Bokuto could? Be able to communicate with him through looks alone? Guess his mood by the way Akaashi said his name? Would he ever be able to know exactly when to stop teasing, like Kuroo? Show sentimentality and accept his feelings as a serious thing, to be celebrated and communicated? Remember to bring a thing from the supermarket Akaashi liked, just because?

They turned into the little cobblestone street leading up to their cottage. Kuroo barely had his foot on the gas, driving careful enough for the street not to shake Akaashi awake.

Tsukishima never would have thought of doing that.

Once they arrived, it was Bokuto who gently lifted Akaashi up and carried him to the door, like a sleeping child.

Tsukishima would never be able to do that, no matter how many surfboards he shouldered. 

Akaashi was placed on the pull-out couch, Kuroo already there to help take his clothes off, scrunching his nose in a stifled laugh. 

“He smells of sunscreen.”

“Could be worse,” Bokuto whispered back. “He hasn't showered in two days.” He handed Kuroo a clean t-shirt he had gotten from his own bag, since it would be easier to put an over-sized shirt onto a sleeping person. 

Not that Akaashi was actually sleeping. No one would have slept through all of that – not after only one cup of sake. Akaashi simply liked the attention. Halfway through, Tsukishima was sure that his eyes opened a bit, looking at where Tsukishima was just standing by the kitchen and staring like a creep. He was sure that Akaashi winked at him. But there were no lights on and he could have been wrong.

“I'm going to the bathroom,” he announced, once he could no longer look at them, which was about the time they started to pull at Akaashi's pants. 

The 'bathroom' was a single square foot hosting an old western-style toilet and a sink so small, it was impossible not to splash water everywhere. Tsukishima took his shirt off and tried to wash himself with the rose-scented hand-soap, feeling like a complete failure. He'd have to use that shower tomorrow – no excuses. 

Once he was done, he dried himself off with his shirt. It was no use being ashamed to walk around shirtless – they'd been at the beach all day long. Still, it felt weird to exit the bathroom only half-dressed, especially since he almost walked into Kuroo on his way out.

“Oh!” Kuroo said. Tsukishima could see the white of his eyes in the otherwise dark room. He was definitely not looking at Tsukishima's face. “Uhm... I was just about to...”

“Sure,” Tsukishima said. “Have fun in there.”

He took a step to the side to let Kuroo pass, just when Kuroo took the same step to walk around him. 

The same thing happened a second time. Kuroo gave a laugh that was a tad high-pitched. “My, Tsukki... I didn't know you could dance like this.”

“If you do this thing where you pirouette me out of the way...” Tsukishima warned.

Kuroo quickly retreated the hand that was halfway to Tsukishima's waist.

“You'll kill me, I know, I know.”

They both stood there, unmoving. Tsukishima almost wished that Tanaka and Nishinoya were here. He was completely lost without them. 

“So...” Kuroo said. “What are we going to do?”

“Are you suggesting a battle plan? You could have walked around me this whole time now!” Tsukishima droned, his head completely empty. 

“But if I did, you would have moved, too! We think too alike,” Kuroo said. 

It was an idiotic discussion. It was dark, they were both whispering, it was incredibly easy to get past each other and yet they were standing there like they were chained to the spot. Tsukishima simply didn't have the strength to move. He felt like he would be cold as soon as Kuroo was gone. 

“I have an idea,” Kuroo said. “We won't have to get past each other, if we simply go in the same direction, right? So I'll escort you to your room. What do you say?”

He turned around without waiting for Tsukishima's reply, putting his elbow out for Tsukishima to link their arms together. 

Tsukishima's head was still empty, so he lifted his hand and placed it in the nook of Kuroo's elbow. 

He hoped Akaashi had actually fallen asleep by now, but there was no need to worry. A rattling snore from the couch made both Tsukishima and Kuroo startle on their two-step way to the bedroom. 

“Oh,” Kuroo said. “We placed him on his back. I'll have to turn him around or this won't stop.”

“Right,” Tsukishima said. Of course Kuroo would know the exact way Akaashi slept. He wasn't sure why that bothered him. The only truly bothersome thing was that Akaashi snored worse than Bokuto and it somehow only added to his appeal. 

Kuroo cleared his throat, alerting Tsukishima that their two steps were completed and they were standing in front of the bedroom door.

“Well...” Kuroo said. “We're here.”

“Yes,” Tsukishima said. He didn't let go of Kuroo's arm. He _couldn't_. His body was fighting against his brain, which was unfair, because he was pretty sure that Nishinoya and Tanaka had kidnapped his brain earlier. 

“Soo...” Kuroo drew out the moment by clearing his throat again. “I guess this is where we... part?”

 _Let go!_ Tsukishima silently screamed at his hand. _Just let go already!_

 _Kiss him!_ the hand screamed back. Well, probably not the hand, but _something_. Some carnal part of him that he didn't have under control, because he had handed his brain to his old teammates all wrapped up with a little bow and he had forgotten to ask for it back. 

Stupid!

“Good night, Tsukki.”

Finally, Tsukishima's hand fell from Kuroo's elbow. He almost heaved a relieved sigh. 

“Good night, Kuroo.”

Gathering all of his strength, he fumbled for the door handle in his back. Kuroo was still standing there, looking at him, his outlines contrasting against the bit of moonlight creeping in from the windows. Tsukishima couldn't see his face. All he knew was that he was practically leaning against the bedroom door, shirtless, with lust and longing clearly visible on his face, and Kuroo wouldn't move an inch. 

And then, just when Kuroo's outlines seemed to take a step closer, Tsukishima found the door handle and pushed it down.

He almost fell in through the door. One of the night lights on the bedside tables was on, but Tsukishima couldn't bring himself to look at Kuroo's face. He just closed the door, leaning against it, his heart pounding. Hoping against hope that they would both believe this was a fever dream once they woke up tomorrow morning.

“Hey!”

When Tsukishima looked up, he saw Bokuto sitting on the side of the bed, waiting up for him. He didn't question what Tsukishima was doing, leaning against the door like he had just escaped from a serial killer who had already slashed his shirt off. 

“About earlier...”

Bokuto didn't look him in the eyes. He was fiddling with something in his hands – the owl plushie. He must have stolen it from Akaashi. 

“I'm sorry!”

Tsukishima didn't have his wits together yet, so he honestly didn't know what Bokuto was talking about. 

“Okay?” he said, surprised that his voice came out normal. He had expected something akin to a rasp. 

Bokuto was biting his lips, talking to the plushie instead of Tsukishima. 

“I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret.”

Tsukishima's heart slowly stopped pounding a hundred miles an hour. He pushed himself away from the door and walked over to his side of the bed, where his sleeping clothes lay neatly folded on the cushion. 

“Would you let me in on what the hell you're talking about?” he asked. Bokuto was still facing away and Tsukishima safely pulled down his pants to exchange them for his sleeping shorts. 

“At the restaurant...” Bokuto said. That was enough for Tsukishima to remember what had transpired and what Bokuto had to be sorry for. “When I said-”

“You're right – I didn't appreciate that,” Tsukishima said sharply. “You don't have to make it seem like I begged you for cuddles or something equally embarrassing. You could at least give the proper context. But anyway, I'm not mad at you,” he lied. “I just became very nauseous right at that moment. So relax.”

Bokuto did. He turned around, his eyes as big as the owl plushie's in his hand. They looked awfully similar, now that Tsukishima thought about it. 

“You're really not mad?” Bokuto asked.

“No.”

He was a little mad that Akaashi clearly had a Bokuto-plushie to sleep with every night.

“Oh. Cool.” Bokuto gave a tentative smile that somehow looked wrong on his face. Bokuto should never hesitate to smile. 

“Just... go to sleep,” Tsukishima said. He took off his glasses and put them on his bedside table. “I'm not mad, but I am tired. Turn off your light, please.”

Bokuto did as he was told and they settled into their respective sides, pulling their shared cover up to their necks. Tsukishima was facing the wall – he didn't know what Bokuto was doing. He really would have liked to know what Bokuto was doing. Which way he was facing. Because he started to realize that they had not talked about this enough.

If Tsukishima wasn't mad, then wouldn't that mean it was okay for Bokuto to hold him? 

But Bokuto hadn't looked like he believed that Tsukishima wasn't mad, so...

It was mind-numbing. Tsukishima lay there, eyes wide open, staring at the blurry wall, waiting for Bokuto's breathing to calm down. For some sign that he didn't have to dread or expect or hope a hand would reach out for him, to pull him against a warm, strong chest. 

But Bokuto didn't seem to fall asleep. Instead, after what felt like a hundred years, Tsukishima could hear him mumble, “You really are too lenient towards me.”

Tsukishima didn't answer. He didn't know what to say to that. Even worse – the talking had made it clear that Bokuto was facing him. There was a hesitant rustle behind him, then he could feel fingertips on his lower back, barely brushing the skin where his shirt had ridden up.

Tsukishima simply stopped breathing. Hopefully Bokuto would take it as a sign that he had fallen asleep. Let Tsukishima die in peace instead of calling an ambulance and keep him tied to this cruel, cruel world. 

He had survived Akaashi and his damn marriage proposal. He had survived Kuroo escorting him to his bedroom like some nineteenth-century gentleman. And now Bokuto was preparing this huge sacrifice to the Goddess of Irony by committing a murder-attempt via the gentlest cuddle to exist on this hell of an Earth. There was no peace for Tsukishima. It was like some kind of video game, where every beaten boss just led to a worse, stronger boss. What would happen when Tsukishima – through some kind of wonder – survived this night, too? Would Akaashi burst through the door come morning, gloriously naked, and beg him to take a shower together so they might share body-warmth instead of freezing to death under the cold stream?

The hand slowly stroked along Tsukishima's back, up to his waist, where it came to a halt, unaware of Tsukishima's thoughts running through his head like a wild stampede. Tsukishima still had to be breathing, somehow, because the sweet release of death hadn't yet arrived. 

Nothing more happened after that. The hand just lay there, an impossible weight on his waist, sending shivers up and down his spine. No other part of Bokuto touched him, not even the rest of his arm, as if the hand was completely disconnected from him. It was such a sweet, empty promise. Tsukishima couldn't take it. He would never fall asleep like that. He would stare at that wall all night long, committing every callous he felt to his memory. 

“Bokuto...” he whispered, almost too quietly to hear, but the hand was pulled away as if Tsukishima's skin had started to burn.

Tsukishima was still talking to the wall. 

“Everyone already knows, so... It really doesn't make a difference.”

The words hung in the air for a moment as Bokuto pondered whether Tsukishima was saying what he thought he was saying. Then the hand returned, pulling Tsukishima flush against Bokuto's body with a force that pushed all remaining air from his lungs. 

There was so much warmth, Tsukishima didn't know where he should start feeling Bokuto's body first. It was wrapped around him like a blanket. The hand from before was shoved up Tsukishima's shirt, resting against his pecs, one thigh was between his legs, and the cold tip of Bokuto's nose was buried deep into the hairline in Tsukishima's nape.

It was perfect. It was as if cuddling was Bokuto's superpower. Tsukishima had no idea why he ever refused this in the first place.

A deep, shuddering breath was released into his hair, then Bokuto's muffled voice brushed his ears.

“You smell so good.”

“I smell like cheap, rose-scented hand soap,” Tsukishima said, closing his eyes.

“That's not what I meant,” Bokuto said. 

A thumb gently stroked across Tsukishima's chest.

And just like that, he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a [twitter](https://twitter.com/Smokey3103) now!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I thank [essrambles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doggoneit/profile) for the beta <3

_Knock_

_Knock, knock_

Tsukishima was not ready to wake up. 

_Knock, knock, knock_

He was wrapped in a cocoon of pure bliss and warmth. He was a kitten snuggled up to its mother's belly. He was in heaven. 

_KNOCK!_

The cocoon shook him.

“Tsukki!” it whispered. “Tsukki, do you hear that?”

Yes, Tsukishima _did_ hear that, but he would have liked to pretend not to, just for a bit longer. The cocoon, however, had other ideas.

“Tsukki! It's coming from the window!”

Finally, Tsukishima managed to pry his eyes open. It didn't make any difference – the room was pitch dark. He could still feel Bokuto's arms wrapped around him, but it was no longer a nice cuddle, it was a death grip.

“Leggo!” he mumbled. “Choking me!”

“Sorry!” Bokuto said, loosening his grip a little. He was back to his choke-hold one second later, when another knock came from the window. 

Tsukishima realized he'd just have to live with it. 

“What if it's that surfer dude, out for revenge?” Bokuto whispered in his ear.

“Why would he knock on the window?” Tsukishima whispered back. He was still busy waking up and failed to be too alarmed by the, admittedly, rather shady goings-on. 

“I don't know,” Bokuto said. “He seemed pretty polite.”

“You think he'll politely break into our room and strangle you?”

He felt Bokuto give a shrug. “I don't know him,” he said. “I don't know his priorities.”

A sigh was pressed out of Tsukishima when Bokuto's grip tightened upon yet another knock. 

“Maybe, for now, we should just assume that it's Kuroo, playing a prank,” Tsukishima said, freeing an arm from Bokuto's hold to grope for his glasses. They didn't change anything about the darkness of the room. “Could you turn on your table lamp?”

“No!” Bokuto whispered. “Then I'd have to let go of you.”

“This is idiotic!” Tsukishima snapped at him. The incessant knocking was starting to grate on his nerves. “What are you even working out for? Just to carry Kuroo over the threshold? If it's that surfer, just knock him out cold!”

“I _am_ just training to carry Kuroo, and various other people, over the threshold!” Bokuto argued. “And that's a valiant cause! I don't want to use my muscles to hurt people!”

“How many times do you plan to get remarried? What happens to Kuroo? Doesn't sound very valiant to me!”

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK_

Alright – that was enough! Tsukishima tried to wriggle out of Bokuto's grip, and when that wouldn't work, rolled right over him to get to the lamp on Bokuto's side of the bed. It would have been a much too intimate maneuver, if it weren't for the mystery knocking right over their heads. Tsukishima almost knocked the lamp from the table before he found the switch. 

The light went on with a click. It wasn't very bright, but compared to the darkness from before, they both had to squint to see anything. Bokuto started to scream before Tsukishima's eyes got used to the light. But even with just the blurry outlines, it was pretty clear what Bokuto was screaming about.

There was a spider at their window. A spider so huge, its leg-span went across the entire windowpane. Tsukishima would have taken it for a cardboard cut-out, if it weren't for the front-legs clearly knocking against the window. 

Bokuto's scream rose a few octaves, like a siren.

“Oh my God, calm down!” Tsukishima chided. “This _can't_ actually be a spider! There is not a single spider in this world which could grow to that size!”

Behind them, the door banged open and Akaashi flew in, wielding some kind of weapon. His eyes looked like they were still shut, but he was probably just blinded by the light. Upon closer investigation, Akaashi's weapon turned out to be a leek he had grabbed from the kitchen counter.

“What's going on?” Kuroo screamed, staying a safe distance away in the living room.

“SPIDER!” Bokuto answered. “WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY A KILLER-SPIDER!”

“We're not being attacked,” Tsukishima groaned. “And it's not a spider!” 

Akaashi let his leek sink down, eyes still closed. “Oh, good. So I can go back to sleep?”

“OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES!” Bokuto screamed. 

Tsukishima finally found a way to make Bokuto let go of him, by stretching out his hand toward the window. Bokuto executed an impressive somersault right out of the bed and into the living room, where he probably clung to Kuroo next. 

The huge animal gave one last knock, before Tsukishima opened the window, letting it swing inside. He was pretty sure that Bokuto started to cry, which was a little ridiculous. Tsukishima's suspicions about the animal's nature proved to be right once the light actually illuminated it, instead of just casting its shadow.

Akaashi's leek fell to the floor. When Tsukishima turned around, it looked like Akaashi would be the next thing to hit the floor. He had finally opened his eyes.

“Coconut crab,” Tsukishima said. “How incredibly lucky!”

Akaashi didn't deign that with an answer. He shuffled out of the room and, by the sounds of it, let himself fall right onto Bokuto and Kuroo. Tsukishima rolled his eyes after him and turned back to the beautiful animal perched on their window.

Looking closer, he realized that the crab was missing a claw – the big one, by the looks of it. It wouldn't be easy for this crab to survive without its big claw. Could it be that this crab had become dependent on humans and was here to beg for the food it was unable to gather due to its missing limb? If so, then that was truly amazing – what an intelligent animal. 

“Oh my God!”

Kuroo had finally entered the room, his mouth falling open at the sight of the crab. “What the hell is this?”

“Could you hand me that leek on the floor?” Tsukishima asked, reaching out a hand for Kuroo to place the leek in. 

He did so without taking his eyes off the crab. All he could say once Tsukishima gently placed the leek in the crab's single claw, was, “Oh, Tsukki...” It sounded equal parts impressed and hollow. But at least he wasn't crying.

“Look at that!” Tsukishima marveled. The crab cut off a piece of leek with no difficulties and shoved it into its mouth. “Isn't it fascinating?”

Kuroo finally dared to sink down onto the bed. “Yeah,” he said. “Fascinating.” It sounded honest enough, although Tsukishima got the feeling that Kuroo wasn't looking at the crab. 

“I wonder if it will come back,” Tsukishima said, once the crab seemed to be sated and started to tap its legs for a way out. He closed the window and watched how it climbed out of sight. “I should have taken a picture!”

“Don't worry!” Kuroo said. When Tsukishima turned around, he saw him waving Bokuto's phone with a grin. “Got it all on video.”

“I didn't say you should record me!” Tsukishima said coldly. “Delete it!”

“Are you kidding me? I will need this to brag to everyone about how awesome you are! I mean – look at those other two wimps!” He got off the bed and opened the door wide enough for Tsukishima to see Bokuto and Akaashi wrapped up in each other on the pull-out-couch, dried tears shimmering in the dim light falling out of their room. They seemed to have cried themselves to sleep. Kuroo closed the door again. “Looks like you'll have to make do with me for the rest of the night.”

“As long as you don't start screaming about nonexistent spiders,” Tsukishima said, putting his glasses back on the bedside-table, “I can live with that.”

He put the covers back over himself and closed his eyes, listening to Kuroo getting into the free space next to him and sighing about how nice and warm Bokuto's side was. A click, then it was pitch dark again. Kuroo didn't try to sneak in a cuddle. In a way, the coconut crab was a better contributor to BEAK than anyone else had been. It saved Tsukishima from having to face the consequences of his failings. No waking up safely wrapped up in Bokuto's arms and having to acknowledge that they'd been cuddling all night. No meeting Kuroo in the morning light, wondering what yesterday evening had been all about. Tsukishima could fall asleep for once, without worrying what tomorrow might bring.

Tomorrow, it turned out, brought a lot more screaming.

“I'll kill him,” Tsukishima mumbled, starting up from his sleep for the second time tonight. Although he noticed that 'tonight' wasn't exactly true anymore. There was light falling in through their window already. He could make out Kuroo's hair, sticking out from a pillow he was smothering himself with. 

The screaming continued. It got closer. Then the door was banged open and Akaashi and Bokuto stormed in, jumping into the bed and crawling under the covers with panicked faces.

“This bed is not made for four people!” Tsukishima yelled. “It will collapse!”

The bed emphasized his words with a dangerous groan, but it didn't crack and Tsukishima had all the fight pushed out of him by Akaashi's hands grabbing at his shirt. From the living room came an insistent knock.

“What's going on?” Kuroo whined. He had a whole Bokuto wrapped around himself. That, combined with the pillow still pushed over his face, Tsukishima wondered how he was still breathing.

“The spider is back to get us!” Bokuto cried. 

Another impatient knock from the front door.

“That is one hundred percent a human being!” Tsukishima groaned. “Are you all idiots?”

A sudden knock on the window behind them had them all jump out of the bed, including Tsukishima. But even without his glasses on, he quickly realized that it was not the crab that had come back. It was something much less welcome, judging from the blurry color combination he could just make out. 

“It's just a Nishinoya,” Tsukishima said, leaning over to open the window to three more screams. “Good morning,” he greeted, already tired.

“Sorry for interrupting your orgy,” Nishinoya said, before he ran away to yell around the cottage. “Ryuu, I found them!”

Tsukishima put his glasses on, gave a deep sigh, and resolved on facing the day with grim determination. The pests were here now. He was finally safe again.

“Woohooo, Tsukki! That looks amazing!”

Tsukishima tried his best to blend out the cheering squad riding the waves alongside him. His feet were planted solidly on the board, knees only shaking a little bit as he tried to keep his balance. He could hear a big splash from somewhere – that was probably Bokuto, feeding himself to the waves. 

“You outlasted Bokuto!” Kuroo affirmed his suspicions. “You're doing great!”

“Not the standard I planned to measure myself on!” Tsukishima yelled back – which was a mistake. He lost his balance as soon as he opened his mouth, board slipping from underneath his feet. Nishinoya swooped in from behind and grabbed the board before it was washed away. 

“You're a natural,” he said, handing Tsukishima his board back. 

“Not really,” Tsukishima grumbled, spitting saltwater. “It's more like you're a natural teacher.”

“A compliment? From you?” Nishinoya looked around, until he spotted Tanaka riding a wave not too far away. “Hey, Ryuu! Tsukishima just called me a great teacher!”

“WHAT?” two voices called back. Kuroo had heard that, even though he had almost reached the beach already. 

“See? This is why I don't usually give out compliments,” Tsukishima sighed. “You always let it go to your head.”

Tanaka reached them and jumped off his board as well, so that Tsukishima was now sandwiched between his partners in crime, all lying on their boards. The other three had reached the beach and were exchanging tips and compliments.

“Sooo,” Tanaka started with his most annoying grin, “what did we just walk into earlier?”

“It wasn't like that!” Tsukishima bristled. “There was just some crab-incident!”

“Ew, they gave you crabs?” Nishinoya gagged. 

“I'll drown you!” Tsukishima said. “Seriously, it won't be hard. I can stand here, actually. I can just push you down and there's nothing you could do about it.”

No one listened to him, although Tsukishima honestly meant it.

“You know, if you want as much distance as possible from those guys, you shouldn't share a bed with all three of them,” Tanaka said wisely. 

“That Akaashi was basically inside your shirt,” Nishinoya agreed. 

“Yes,” Tsukishima said. “And that was all because of you guys. Did you know that a coconut crab was doing a better job of keeping us apart than you did? I don't even know why I asked you to help. You're useless.”

As expected with those single-minded people, the language of provocation worked wonders. 

“We won't lose to a crab!” Tanaka roared. “I'll be the biggest pest you've ever seen, just you watch! Noya can't be there today, but I'll come on that boat cruise with you, so don't worry. I'll shield you from everything. This boat cruise will be such a stiff and proper outing, you'll think you're on a trip with your grandmother!”

Sometimes, Tsukishima thought he simply shouldn't let Tanaka speak out loud, ever. Because no matter what he said, it was cursed to be wrong. It was cursed to be the _exact_ opposite.

Granted, it was all Bokuto's fault, but Tsukishima couldn't help but think that Tanaka's curse had something to do with it.

“Bokuto...” Akaashi said, standing on the deck of a huge cruise ship and looking down into the moving water underneath them as if he contemplated jumping in. “What was the name of this event?”

“Huh?” Bokuto, leaning next to him on the railing and slurping on a colorful cocktail, let his gaze wander across the ship, trying to figure out what was wrong with this scene. That it was a party boat wouldn't tip him off, because of course Bokuto would find it perfectly sensible to join a cruise on a party boat. However – there was not a single woman to be seen far and wide. In addition to that, most shirts that had even made it onto the boat, were flying off it in a shockingly short span of time.

Tsukishima almost wished to do the same with his own shirt. After their morning surf, Bokuto had finally revealed what he had bought at Nishinoya's store yesterday.

It turned out to be an assortment of the most hideous Hawaiian shirts Tsukishima had ever laid eyes upon. How they had talked Tsukishima into actually wearing it was still a blur. Maybe the ice cold shower had momentarily frozen his brain. He vaguely remembered a triple puppy dog eyes attack, but he told himself that he only gave in because there was one shirt with dancing crabs on it and ever since this night, he had kind of become a fan. 

Bokuto's own shirt, which hadn't come in his size, was printed with gruesomely contorted parakeets. Kuroo's was a vomit-inducing combination of bright pink and orange flowers. Akaashi, on the other hand, somehow made a baby-pink shirt with black sharks printed all over it look good. (Tsukishima had refused to wear that one out of principle.) He was also the only one who had gotten a sunhat to replace the kiddy cap he'd been wearing. It wasn't a fashionable straw hat or anything like that – it was a khaki fisherman's hat, which was even more ridiculous than the old one had been. 

“The name of the cruise?” Kuroo reminded Bokuto, who was still pensively watching the dancing, half-naked men.

“I think it was something like 'The Big Cruising Cruise',” Bokuto shrugged. “Or 'The Big Cruise for Cruisers'. I don't know. Why, is something wrong?”

Akaashi had one foot on the railing before Kuroo pulled him away.

“Bro...” Kuroo said, shaking his head. He was grinning from ear to ear, though. 

Tanaka just came back from the bar with a second cocktail. He was also grinning from ear to ear, joining Tsukishima, who silently stewed a few steps away from his friends. Somehow, he didn't expect Tanaka to be of help today. It might have something to do with the fact that the first thing Tanaka did upon walking on the ship was look at all the shirtless men, exclaim “Dude, I love it here!” and throw his own shirt right over the railing.

Tsukishima was interrupted in his stewing by a man, who was wearing an opened shirt, dancing closer and throwing him a lewd look. At least Tsukishima guessed it was supposed to be a lewd look. The whole effect of the grin, the droopy eyes and the shock of bright red hair sticking up from his head, was more that of 'creepy'. 

“Hey!” the guy said, once he had entered Tsukishima's space, looking him up and down. “You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”

Tsukishima looked at him wide-eyed. “... Grandma?” he said. “You've really changed!”

Next to him, Tanaka just rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, though! Where do I know you from?” the guy asked, unperturbed by the incomprehensible answer. “Guy like you isn't easy to confuse for someone else.”

Tsukishima stared at Tanaka, who was just standing there, happily slurping on his cocktail.

“What?” he finally asked, once he noticed that Tsukishima was staring at him. 

“You're the worst pest in existence,” Tsukishima said, gesturing at the redhead, who still stood too close and creepily grinned at him. “Ban Everything; Advances, Kindliness? What is this, if not advances?”

“But he's cute!” Tanaka said, grinning at the creepy, entirely un-cute stranger. “Look at him!”

Now the stranger's eyes finally concentrated on Tanaka instead. “Thanks, bro!” he said.

“No problem, bro!” Tanaka retorted. 

Tsukishima was too afraid to ask if they knew each other. He had a strong inkling that the answer was no. He lowered his voice in case the others were listening in. “Didn't you want to prove to me how you're not entirely useless?”

“Wouldn't it be great to have a hot guy come in-between you and them to keep you apart?” Tanaka whispered back with a wink. 

The stranger, who was close enough to hear their whispered conversation, joined with a conspiratorial grin. “I like him!” he told Tsukishima, as he lay a much too long arm across Tanaka's shoulder. “You should totally listen to what he has to say!”

“Hey, Tsukki!”

Tsukishima startled at the arm that sneaked around his waist. The fake-boyfriend Kuroo had come back to put on his show. “Is everything okay over here?”

The intimidation tactic didn't work on this stranger. He simply stared at Kuroo, his eyes and mouth getting bigger and rounder with each second. “Oh!” he exclaimed. “Now I remember where I know you from! You guys were on the beach yesterday!” He whipped around to where Bokuto stood, shielding Akaashi with a bear-hug from the naked men. “That guy ran over my friend!”

“Muscle Man?” Kuroo gasped. “He's here?”

A loud laugh alerted them to Bokuto joining their little gathering. He was hauling Akaashi along like a grumpy barrel. “You called him Muscle Man in your head? That's so funny! He was Surfinator in mine!”

Akaashi raised his hand. “Mermaid Man,” he said.

They all looked at Tsukishima, who rolled his eyes – but he knew he couldn't win against their combined attention. “Bond Guy,” he relented, annoyed when his comment was the one to make the stranger start wheezing. 

“Ooph,” Tanaka said. “I kinda wanna meet that guy.”

“His name is Ushijima Wakatoshi,” the stranger said, once he was done gasping for air. “And my name is Tendou, by the way.”

Tsukishima was annoyed that they all started to make their introductions now, as if it mattered what that stranger was called, because they would certainly not spend any more time with him.

“And if you want to meet Ushijima,” Tendou continued, after he had learned everyone's names, “I could totally introduce you. He's having a bit of a crisis, though, so be warned.”

“No! No, of course not!” Was what Tsukishima would have liked to say, but he was completely drowned out by Bokuto and Tanaka's loud whooping. Even Akaashi just shrugged. He seemed to have reached the stage where he had come to terms with Bokuto's stupidity and was ready to go along with it. That stage came earlier and earlier – soon, Tsukishima would have to hold an intervention again. 

“Let's go meet Bond Guy!” Tanaka exclaimed, raising his cocktail into the air. Bokuto joined him with a “Surfinator!”, clinking their glasses so hard, they almost shattered.

“We just learned his real name,” Tsukishima reminded them, convinced they had already forgotten it. No one listened to him, because Tendou had turned around to lead them away into the ship. 

“Remember how you said we'd never meet that guy again,” Kuroo whispered into Tsukishima's ear, making his hairs stand on end. 

“Guess my prophecies are cursed to never be true,” Tsukishima grunted, staring daggers at Tanaka's back. He was stuck to Tendou's heels, never even turning back to see Kuroo with his arms still wrapped around Tsukishima, whispering things in his ears with his silky, purring voice. 

He couldn't possibly stay back with Kuroo alone, surrounded by a million half-naked, dancing gays. He could already feel Kuroo's hips starting to sway – so Tsukishima did the only thing he could to get out of this situation. He followed the others to meet that cursed Bond Guy. Ushijima. 

“I don't like the direction this is going,” Tsukishima said two minutes later, when they had descended into the ship's interior. The deeper they went, the hornier the people around them became. While there was only dancing at the first level, they soon progressed to groping on the second, and making out in private corners on the third level. 

“He's going to lead us straight into some sex chamber!” Tsukishima said.

“It's a good thing your prophecies are cursed to be wrong,” Kuroo commented from behind him. “Although, now that I think about it, this whole thing does seem pretty shady. He's like 'I'll show you some cute bunnies, just follow me!' and then leads us all the way down into the basement.”

“Cute Bunnies?” Tsukishima said. “He baited us with mean-looking muscle men, so I don't think we can complain if we get beaten up and robbed.”

Somewhere below them, Bokuto started to scream. 

“Oh my,” Kuroo chuckled, pushing Tsukishima along by the shoulders. “I don't like this at all.”

The stairs led to a door, from behind which Bokuto's muffled screams could be heard. They sounded more excited than fearful, so Tsukishima gathered his courage and pushed the door open.

“-SO AMAZING, OH MY GOD!”

He had been right about Bokuto's screams. And honestly, looking around the room, he could only agree with them.

They were in the middle of what looked to be a huge aquarium. Clearly it was supposed to be some kind of lounge bar. Everything was held in black, with a blue tint of light and hard, modern seating accommodations, but Tsukishima didn't care about that part of the room. One whole front of the ship was made of glass, beams of light shining into the darkness of the underwater world surrounding them and illuminating swarms of fish swimming by. There weren't as many as a real aquarium would have had – but this was so much more real and fascinating. Tsukishima never realized he had ditched Kuroo and crossed the whole room until he found himself with his nose pressed against the glass, staring out into the depths of the ocean.

He imagined seeing the dark shadows of whales and sharks hovering just out of sight, watching the strange scene from a safe distance. _He_ was the one inside the aquarium, in this case. There was no one next to him to point it out to, sadly. 

A cacophony of annoying giggles to his right distracted him, but when he turned his head, he found that no one was laughing at his childish display. Instead, he found a scene straight out of the Roman times. 

There was a guy, laid out on the length of a simple black chaise longue, with his head propped up by his elbow, surrounded by at least half a dozen half-naked men fawning over him and trying to feed him chocolate. The guy himself didn't need to undress to attract attention, although there were at least two buttons too many opened on his dark blue shirt. He had the biggest deer-eyes and bounciest brown hair Tsukishima had ever seen. It was almost revolting. 

Tsukishima quickly tried to turn away, but it was too late. The guy had sensed his stare and looked straight at him, a lazy grin forming on his lips. He accepted one of the chocolates someone pushed in his face, catching it with his tongue and pulling it into his mouth with a very unnecessary and very sensual moan. All the while, he kept Tsukishima's gaze. It was impossible to look away for some reason.

Tsukishima only managed it once the guy got up from his seat, sashaying in Tsukishima's direction. It was a bit too late to act as if he hadn't been staring, but Tsukishima kept his eyes glued to the dark ocean as if a white shark was swimming straight at him. Which was pretty much what was happening anyway.

“Hey,” the guy said, coming to a halt right next to him. His voice was smooth and playful and kind of obnoxious. “Did you get lost?”

That was just unexpected enough to make Tsukishima acknowledge he was being spoken to. He frowned at the guy, who was still grinning at him. 

“Why would you say that?” he asked.

“It's just that you're not really dressed for a giant orgy,” the guy said, thumb stroking over a dancing crab on Tsukishima's chest. “Or is this a beginner's attempt at peacocking?”

He might as well have been speaking a different language.

“Giant orgy?” Tsukishima repeated, glancing over his shoulder, where, thankfully, most people still had their pants on. 

The stranger laughed at his shocked expression. 

“I'm only joking,” he said. “You're supposed to use the bunks for sex. It's considered inappropriate to do it right in front of everybody.” He cocked his head to the side in what was clearly a practiced gesture. “There are no rules against making out, though.”

“What about fellating chocolate in a pool of half-naked men?” Tsukishima asked, pleased against better judgment when that managed to make the guy snort. 

“I think I like you,” the guy said, leaning against the glass. “There's something about you.”

“It's just my height,” Tsukishima scoffed. “Don't worry about it. I'm not exactly...” he glanced over to the men still draped around the empty chaise longue, faithfully waiting for their master's return. “I'm just a mean-tempered nobody who thinks this whole thing is ridiculous.”

“Yes...” the stranger smiled, leaning impossibly closer. “That's what I like about you.”

Tsukishima was at a loss of how to respond, but luckily he didn't have to. A hand grabbed his own and suddenly, a choir of angels started to sing.

No. It was just Akaashi's voice.

“There you are! I was looking for you.”

The stranger's eyes narrowed as he looked over at Akaashi, who – with the ridiculous hat gone and leaving only a mess of perfectly ruffled black hair behind – had no problem keeping up with the stranger's beauty. His features were naturally calm and uninterested whereas the stranger had to fight to keep his own face from slipping. 

Tsukishima chanced a glance at the other end of the room, where Kuroo and Bokuto were looking over at them, clearly fretting. So this was a staged operation. Tsukishima was just glad they hadn't sent Kuroo to play the fake boyfriend again. 

“Oh?” the stranger hummed sweetly. “And who might you be?”

Akaashi looked him in the eyes, unblinking, and then brutally ignored him.

“We were just introduced to Ushijima,” he said, turning back to Tsukishima. “You should come say hello, too.” 

They both jumped a little when the good-looking stranger suddenly started to foam at the mouth. His bedroom eyes and lazy smile distorted into a grotesque grimace as he barked, “Ushiwaka?”, turning his head to search the room for this person who was able to make his blood boil with the sole mention of his name. Tsukishima had to admit, he was impressed. 

“Right,” Tsukishima said, smirking. He was starting to have fun now. “I can't wait to see him again.”

Akaashi's eyebrows rose two millimeters, but that was all the reaction he let his face show, before he pulled Tsukishima away from the shrieking stranger. 

Tsukishima gladly followed. The aquarium wall wasn't worth spending any more time in that weird person's company. He hadn't seen that many fish anyway.

Kuroo and Bokuto welcomed him with relieved hugs, which was a little unnecessary, since it wasn't like Tsukishima had been in any danger. He had just been flirted with by a chocolate-guzzling God in human form – nothing Tsukishima wasn't immune to. He had a lot of practice shooting down flirting attempts by good-looking people. Once Kuroo and Bokuto let go of him, Tsukishima finally noticed Bond Guy standing with them, looking a little awkward not holding a surfboard. Like he didn't know what to do with his arms, which were just hanging straight to his sides. 

“This is Tsukki,” Bokuto introduced him. “Tsukki, that's Ushiwaka!”

“Tsukishima,” Tsukishima corrected, extending his hand.

“Ushijima,” Ushijima responded in kind, taking the hand. They shook stiffly. Somewhere in the room, another muffled shriek could be heard.

Tsukishima tilted his head in the direction of the shriek.

“I guess you know who that is, then?” he asked, not daring to turn around and search for the flirty stranger. 

Ushijima's eyes managed the same violent suppression of glancing towards the guy. “Yes,” he confirmed, frown deepening. “He's my partner.”

“What?” Bokuto cried out. He had no problem glaring at the person in question. “But he's-”

“My beach volleyball partner,” Ushijima clarified, before Bokuto could scream any louder. “His name is Oikawa.”

“That's your partner?” Kuroo wondered. “Damn. How do you concentrate?”

Ushijima just furrowed his eyebrows, not understanding what Kuroo was trying to say. “He seems to be angry at me,” he said instead. “That's why I'm here. I need to resolve this issue before the tournament tomorrow.”

“He seems to like chocolate,” Tsukishima offered helpfully. 

“And tall blonds,” Kuroo snorted. “Seriously, Tsukki. We can't let you out of our sight for two seconds!”

“Speaking of which...” Bokuto looked over to the bar in the middle of the room as if searching for something. “Where's the other Tsukki-lovers? Weren't they supposed to get drinks for us?”

“No idea,” Kuroo said, shrugging. Akaashi just shook his head. Tsukishima, who knew exactly that everyone was able to see Tendou and Tanaka furiously making out against the wall not too far away, shrugged as well. “Maybe they've fallen off the boat,” he said. “Truly a tragedy.”

“Would you like to sit?” Ushijima asked, nodding towards a corner that had just gotten free after the two people dry-humping against it had decided to look for a more private place. Tsukishima wasn't overjoyed to be sitting on that tainted seat, but there was a little wall lined with modern potted plants sprouting from the top, which shielded the corner from Oikawa's burning eyes.

“Yes, please.” Tsukishima said, following Ushijima to the corner, where he was presented with the difficult choice of where to sit. Seeing as Tanaka was currently otherwise occupied, Ushijima seemed to be the safest bet. There were only two lounge benches, which meant it was going to be cramped. 

Akaashi and Bokuto let themselves fall on the opposite seat, moving closer together to make room for Kuroo, who – graciously overlooking the others' efforts – squeezed himself in next to Tsukishima. 

Maybe Tsukishima had been mistaken. Maybe that awkward situation yesterday evening hadn't been forgotten over a giant crab knocking at their window after all. Kuroo seemed determined to pester him as much as possible. 

“So, Ushiwaka,” Bokuto began cheerfully. “What did you do to that partner of yours?”

“I'm not sure,” Ushijima said, looking down at his own hands, which were placed on his knees perfectly symmetrical. “It's probably something I said. I try not to say too many things around him, but he still gets angry at half of them.”

“Are you sure you should be partners?” Tsukishima drawled, but all he got from Ushijima was a decided “Yes!”

“What were some other things he's gotten angry about?” Bokuto asked. “Maybe we can compare notes. For example – Tsukki here gets angry when I tell people he's actually a super nice person who has feelings and-”

“Bokuto!” Tsukishima barked, mad about the low table between them, which kept him from kicking Bokuto's legs. 

“See?” Bokuto said. “And Akaashi gets mad when I tickle him right here-”

Bokuto's finger was caught in Akaashi's vice grip before it could burrow into Akaashi's side. 

“And Kuroo,” Bokuto continued, patting Akaashi's hair with his free hand in apology, “really hates it when I remind people of that one time he bragged he could tame the stray cat that lived in our university's vents only to come to class the next morning with his whole face scratched to bloody bits.”

“Because it was a raccoon!” Kuroo shrieked, throwing his hands up. “Why do you always leave out that it was a raccoon?”

Ushijima looked between them with worried eyes. “You really don't have to help me,” he told Bokuto, sensing that it would only lead to everyone at their table being pissed. “None of these things apply to Oikawa.”

“I owe you one after running you over with my surfboard,” Bokuto insisted. “So I'm not leaving here until you guys are back together!”

“The rest of us will absolutely leave, though,” Akaashi said. “You know where to deliver him when he gets on your nerves too much.”

Ushijima answered with another serious nod while Bokuto distorted Akaashi's name into a long whine and Kuroo got up, muttering that he needed a drink for this.

“Me too, please,” Akaashi said. “The strongest cocktail on the menu.”

“Oh, yes!” Bokuto rejoiced. “We all need one! We all need to loosen up a bit or we won't be creative enough to come up with a suitable apology dance.”

“A what?” Ushijima asked.

“No, don't ask!” Tsukishima warned, but it was too late. Bokuto had already jumped out of his seat.

“Apology dance!” he announced, climbing onto the little table in their middle. Tsukishima frantically looked around for some staff looking their way and swooping in to stop Bokuto from collapsing their furniture in time. Kuroo hurried away before he could be seen belonging to this group. Bokuto circled his hips and suddenly, Tsukishima found his eyes glued to Bokuto's crotch.

He really hated this.

“For Tsukki, it's this...” Bokuto announced, placing his hands at the waistband of his ridiculous salmon-colored Capri pants. With every swirl of his hips, he sunk down lower and lower. It was seriously impressive and fascinating to watch – which was the only reason Tsukishima always forgot they were fighting once Bokuto started to do this. It had nothing to do with the way Bokuto hypnotized him with his crotch!

“I'm sorry, Tsukki!” Bokuto hummed, once his knees were bent so far that his ass almost touched the table. Somehow, he still had enough balance to circle his hips. “Will you forgive me?”

“You know that you could snap Akaashi's neck right here and now and I would be too busy begging you to stop to even care!” Tsukishima squawked, trying to sink into the back of the couch like a lost quarter. 

“Rude!” Akaashi said. He leaned back in his seat, looking mentally ready to receive his own apology dance, which was more like an apology song and consisted of Bokuto bowing exaggeratedly and repeatedly, chanting “Akaaashi, forgiiive me, Akaaaaashi, I'm soooooorry, AkaaAAAASHI!” until Akaashi rolled his eyes, at which point Bokuto fell down to his knees to hug Akaashi around the middle and have his head patted.

Tsukishima heard a mumbled “Fascinating!” next to him, and gave a sigh. 

“He must have a lot of experience with angering people, if he has a dance routine prepared for each individual,” Ushijima mused. “Maybe I should try the same.”

“It's not like the dancing actually works,” Tsukishima said. “It's just that it reminds us of how ridiculous Bokuto is and that whatever he did to anger us probably wasn't done out of malice but out of a serious misjudgment on what is normal and what isn't.”

“Oikawa's and my understanding on what is normal doesn't always seem to align, either,” Ushijima said, still looking at Bokuto like he somehow held the key that unlocked the secrets of the universe. “Do you think he could teach me?”

Tsukishima seriously debated with himself on whether or not he would like to see poor Ushijima make a fool of himself in the middle of this giant orgy boat, but he was distracted by a body plumping down next to him, sitting much too close. Kuroo had been quicker than he'd expected.

“Hel~lo again, glasses-guy,” a voice purred into his ear. A voice that was most certainly not Kuroo's. “I came to save you from being bored to death. Hope it's not too late.”

Tsukishima instinctively budged away from Oikawa and pressed up against Ushijima – which was a mistake, because Oikawa simply closed the gap again, so that Tsukishima was neatly tucked between the two. 

On the other side of the table, Bokuto and Akaashi just stared, completely unhelpful. Akaashi was even wearing the smallest smirk. His eyes said, “Don't you wish you were sitting with us, now?”

“Hello, Oikawa,” Ushijima greeted his partner. 

Oikawa's expression immediately crumpled as if Ushijima had said something entirely unforgiving. “I'm not here for you, Ushiwaka-chan,” he hissed. “I'm here to steal your date!”

“There we have another textbook example of a misunderstanding between us,” Ushijima told Tsukishima. It sounded a bit like he was a narrator in a nature documentary, commenting on the irrational behavior of the animals surrounding him. “What form of dance do you recommend in this case?”

“I'm not the expert on the dances!” Tsukishima ground out, wondering how he had ended up in this situation. 

“What is he talking about?” Oikawa asked from his other side.

“He needs to know what he did wrong so he can choose what apology dance he can do for you,” Tsukishima sighed. 

Why exactly was he going along with this? He tried to send Akaashi a silent cry for help, but when he looked up, Kuroo had materialized with a tray full of drinks, which he distributed on the table. Then he sat down next to Akaashi and Bokuto and watched the events unfurling on the other side of the table with barely suppressed interest. 

Tsukishima hated them all so much. And yet, having them all sitting there and looking at him, was oddly comforting. As if his being stuck in-between these ridiculous strangers was just a show he was putting on for them. He could do that. He could easily do that and not even feel too out-of-place. 

“Why would a dance make me forgive him? I bet he only knows how to do the robot anyway!” Oikawa spat. 

“Actually, he strikes me as a tap-dancing sort of man,” Tsukishima retorted, grabbing the simple orange juice Kuroo had brought for him. “Imagine him in a bowler hat.”

“I like the way your mind works,” Oikawa agreed. “A tap-dancing gig complete with a little outfit and umbrella-swirling might just be what it takes for me to forgive him.”

“I don't think it's possible for me to learn this until tomorrow,” Ushijima said. “The only thing I could offer is a little ballet.”

There was quiet for a moment, as everyone stared at him, wondering if they had just heard right.

“Did he just say ballet?” Oikawa asked Tsukishima, as if he were the only person sitting there.

“It can't be,” Tsukishima said. “But just in case, ready your phone.”

“My personal trainer has me doing some ballet moves to train my flexibility,” Ushijima explained. “I could show you, if you want.”

“Oh my God!” Tsukishima said. He caught a glimpse of his friends grinning at him from the other side of the table. They seemed to be enjoying the show. Tsukishima had to cover his ear, because it was being shrieked into when Ushijima suddenly got up and onto the table like Bokuto had before.

“Glasses-guy, I will owe you forever for this,” Oikawa said, holding his phone with shaky hands. “Please give me your number?”

“No,” Tsukishima said dryly, eyes trained on Ushijima, who stood there just as stiffly as he stood on the floor.

Then, he lifted his leg, grabbed it, and simply tucked it behind his ear. 

Oikawa stayed strangely silent as the other side of the table erupted into loud cheers and applause. Kuroo gave a wolf whistle. Akaashi toasted his drink. Bokuto jumped up and down in his seat. But Oikawa just let his phone sink down and turned to glare at Tsukishima.

“You know what?” he said. “I actually hate him even more now.”

“I completely understand,” Tsukishima said. 

Ushijima's leg slowly sank back down past his disappointed face.

“Not working?” he asked.

“No, of course not!” Oikawa spat at him. “You idiot! The whole point of this is for you to make a fool of yourself!”

Bokuto, who was sucking hard at the straw poking out of his cocktail, suddenly jumped up on the table next to Ushijima. “I know how that goes!” he exclaimed. “Kuroo, hold my drink, I gotta show Ushiwaka!”

“What is that table made of? Steel?” Akaashi mumbled to himself. 

Tsukishima certainly hoped so. But they seemed to make their furniture from superior wood on this island, because just like the bed had easily held four people this morning, the little table didn't even creak upon having two well-built men dancing upon it.

“Turn around!” Bokuto ordered. “Stick out your butt! And now wiggle it!”

Ushijima didn't look happy about it, but he followed Bokuto's instructions. He stuck out his butt, looking Oikawa straight in the eyes with his serious expression, and stiffly wiggled his ass.

Tsukishima fell over onto the empty space on the couch, acting as if a spear had hit him in the guts.

“The second-hand embarrassment is killing me!” he announced. The others didn't agree. Kuroo was choking on his braying laughter, sopping wet from where he had spilled Bokuto's cocktail all over himself. Akaashi was cheering them on with whistles. Oikawa just dropped his phone, tears streaming out of his face from laughing too hard.

“Turn around!” Bokuto commanded, like an aerobics instructor “Rotate those hips!”

“Noooo!” Oikawa howled, letting himself fall onto Tsukishima to cling at him. “Please! You're killing me!”

There were now two sets of crotches rotating before their eyes, perfectly synchronized. The worst part was that there wasn't even any music playing, just some mysterious ocean sounds with the occasional whale cry mixed in. 

“Bend over!” Bokuto yowled. “Wiggle your butt again, but point it at me!”

Ushijima followed the instructions, still looking straight at Oikawa with the exact same face, while bending over, Bokuto standing behind him and pretending to slap his butt. 

“Please, hot glasses-guy!” Oikawa moaned, unable to look away from Ushijima. “Make it stop!”

“It's Tsukishima!”

“Hot Tsukishima, please make it stop!”

“ _You're_ the one who has to make this stop!” Tsukishima said. “By forgiving him!”

“Noooo!” Oikawa moaned. 

Up on the table, Bokuto had overheard their conversation. “Time to finish him off!” he announced. “Ushiwaka, imitate this!”

He started to do Tsukishima's apology dance, swirling his hips while simultaneously lowering his body. Oikawa clutched at Tsukishima's arm, hard enough to leave a bruise, but Tsukishima wasn't even mad. He knew exactly what Oikawa was feeling.

“They're hypnotizing us!” Oikawa shrieked. “They're hypnotizing us with their crotches!”

Bokuto certainly was. Ushijima – not so much. He had obviously never done this before and couldn't hold his balance. He toppled off the table face-first, right into Oikawa, who was too busy shriek-laughing to catch him properly. Somehow, Tsukishima was the one buried underneath two bodies now. 

“Help!” he demanded, reaching out his arms for Bokuto to pull him out of the rubble. “This is all your doing!”

“I know!” Bokuto beamed. “Look, they made up!”

All Tsukishima could hear was Oikawa's wheezing as Ushijima tried to untangle their limbs from one another, but he guessed that Bokuto was right. Otherwise, Oikawa would be spitting venom and bile right now. 

Kuroo got up from his seat to help Bokuto extract Tsukishima from where he was buried, which took a while. “If only you weren't so long!” he groaned, just as Tsukishima finally became loose and fled to sit on the other sofa, next to Akaashi, who welcomed him with a soft smile. Tsukishima would never try to distance himself from his friends again, he decided. This was so much better than being stuck between complete strangers. Even when Kuroo and Bokuto immediately came to complete the sandwich on the much too small couch, he didn't mind.

“Do you forgive me now?” Ushijima asked. It sounded rather threatening, seeing as he was still burying Oikawa underneath himself. They had both lost some of their intimidating aura – Oikawa with his face full of red blotches was miles away from the ethereal creature that had sucked on chocolate and made goo-goo-eyes at Tsukishima not too long ago. And Ushijima was certainly no Bond Guy anymore. 

“Yes, fine, I forgive you! And it's not like I wouldn't have played the match with you tomorrow, you idiot! I don't train for nothing!” Oikawa said, pushing at Ushijima's shoulders to get him off of himself. “I just didn't like it when you took the last milkbread at the hotel buffet even though you know I love those!”

Ushijima finally sat up, the hard lines of his eyebrows softening a little.

“I took that to give to you,” he said. “I saw it was the last one, so I saved it before anyone else could-”

“Shut up!” Oikawa snapped. The red blotches were eating at his face. “No you didn't!”

“I don't even like milkbread,” Ushijima said. 

“Was that seriously the whole issue?” Kuroo drawled, looking less than impressed. “Because if so, you guys seriously suck!”

“Shut up!” Oikawa snapped again, this time directed at Kuroo. “How should I have known Ushiwaka was not only thinking of himself, huh? It's not really a habit of his!”

“Still, this whole act, just because of some milkbread, is pretty extreme,” Bokuto said. 

“And that comes from the guy who once sulked for two days straight because no one would let him style their hair,” Akaashi commented. 

“AkaaaAAASHI!”

“We were deceived,” Tsukishima said. “Oikawa didn't deserve that apology dance.”

Kuroo and Bokuto nodded gravely as the blush on Oikawa's face deepened. 

“Poor Ushiwaka,” Bokuto said. “You know – there's only one thing I can think of, that would make this right again.”

“It's really fine,” Ushijima said, but he was collectively ignored. 

“I think I know what you're saying,” Kuroo smirked. 

Both their heads turned towards Oikawa in slow motion, the dim blue light giving them the exact right shade to make their smirks look as creepy as possible. Then they started to chant.

“Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. DANCE. DANCE. DANCE!”

Tsukishima happily joined the chant while Akaashi just slurped on his cocktail, staring straight at Oikawa, which was probably even more uncomfortable than being chanted at. 

“DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!”

Their chant suddenly got louder as more voices joined in. Tanaka and Tendou had refrained from visiting once of the gross sex bunks in favor of annoying Oikawa. Which was totally understandable. 

“DANCEEE!!”

“OKAY!” Oikawa finally barked, once he was dead certain that there was no hole in the couch which would swallow him. Tsukishima already knew that, he had checked. “Fuck you guys, but fine! It's not like I'm afraid to dance – I'm actually really good at it, so enjoy the show!”

He put on a brave face as he got off the couch and up on the table. Another button seemed to have opened on his shirt. He bowed in every direction as they all erupted into cheers and applause. Even Ushijima sat there, clapping politely. Oikawa pointed at him.

“Here you go, Ushiwaka-chan. Remember this well, because it will never happen again!”

Then he proceeded to just stand there, unmoving.

“Well?” Kuroo prodded, jumping in his seat and shaking Tsukishima in the process. “We're waiting!”

Oikawa turned around, red-faced. “There's no music!” he cried. “How am I supposed to dance without music?”

“Bokuto could lead you,” Akaashi offered between slurps. 

“Shut up, you stupid renaissance painting!” Oikawa snapped. “You should hang in the Louvre, not sit here and snark at me!”

From the other end of the sandwich, Tsukishima could hear Bokuto whisper, “Are we supposed to get angry at that, or was it a compliment?”

“It was a compliment, Bokuto,” Akaashi whispered back. “If you provoke someone and they snap at you, it's always a compliment.”

“They're drunk again,” Tsukishima whispered at Kuroo's ear. 

“I know!” Kuroo snickered. “I love this vacation!”

“HELLO?” Oikawa barked, clearly unused to being ignored. “We're in the middle of something here!”

“I don't really see anything happening,” Tendou pointed out. He had sat down next to Ushijima, looking expectantly up at Oikawa and waiting for the show to begin. Tanaka was nowhere to be seen. At least until there was a sudden crackle coming from the loudspeakers above them.

When Tsukishima looked over the little plant-lined wall towards the bar, he saw Tanaka throw them two thumbs-ups. Then the music started.

Immediately, the whole lounge started to cheer. People interrupted their make-out sessions to acknowledge that – oh my GOD! - there was now 90s music playing and it was officially party time.

It was almost insultingly cliché. But then Kuroo and Bokuto looked just as excited about the first few beats of Britney Spears' 'Ooops! I did it again', and Tsukishima couldn't help but find it secretly charming.

Up on the table, Oikawa immediately stiffened. Tsukishima thought it was because he had to deliver now.

But it wasn't. It was in preparation for one of the best things Tsukishima had seen in a while.

“No way,” Kuroo whispered, when Oikawa suddenly threw his arms and upper body forward and dove back up in two quick waves, his hair bouncing with the moves. Kuroo grabbed Tsukishima's arm to shake him even more. “Tsukki! Tsukki, are you seeing this?”

“I'm guessing,” Tsukishima said, unable to keep an entirely straight face, “that he knows the choreography.”

Tanaka arrived at their corner just in time, sitting down next to Tendou, who fist-bumped him immediately. 

“How did you know?” Tendou asked. 

“He just looks like one of those people, you know?” Tanaka said, grinning from ear to ear. 

Ushijima was unbothered by the people next to him falling into a giggling fit. He watched his partner do his embarrassing dance – the heart-beating-motion, the twirling, the lip-syncing – while he himself didn't even nod his head to the beat. 

Tsukishima leaned back into the couch and into Akaashi with the same kind of stupefied calm. He had expected Oikawa to be just as stiff as Ushijima had, but with more faked bravado. This was so much better. Squeezed between his friends, who were all having so much fun, watching this person, who only an hour ago had been akin to a dangerous white shark to Tsukishima – this was the best possible outcome for accidentally participating in an orgy cruise. Good thing Tanaka was such a poor contributor to the plan. Tsukishima never wanted to be separated from his friends again, no matter how hard it was not to kiss them. 

Oikawa finished the choreography with a deep bow, breathing hard. He looked as if he had just won the Olympics.

“We will never talk of this again!” he announced, even though he was emanating pride. “Understood?”

Ushijima nodded his head, dead serious. 

“Great!” Oikawa grinned. “So we're even now. And tomorrow...” He rubbed his hands together like a comic book villain. “... we will knock all these other losers to dust!”

“Yes!” Ushijima agreed, suddenly looking just as intense. 

Tsukishima wondered if they were any good. And if so, how Hinata would like it that they had just helped bring his competition to top form. But knowing Hinata, he would probably be happy about it.

“You know what?” Kuroo said, looking over at the bar, where someone was already shutting off the music again. “I really miss the sun. We should go up on deck again. I wanna dance, too!”

Akaashi was the only one who didn't agree, but he was outvoted, and so they all ventured back up towards the deck, where Bokuto put the big fisherman's hat back on Akaashi's head while Kuroo, Oikawa and Tanaka loudly howled the lyrics to some other 90's bop. It felt more like a party cruise now than a cruising cruise. The people who were here for sex had already disappeared into the bunks or some other dark corners. The ones left in the burning sun up on deck were just here to have fun.

“Sunscreen!” Akaashi grumbled, looking a little pacified when both Bokuto and Kuroo pulled out a small bottle of emergency-sunscreen from their pant pockets and started to rub it all over his body. 

Tsukishima, who didn't need a reminder of what had happened when he had tried the same, fled to lean against the railing and act interested in the horizon, which was speckled with cute little islands.

All the sounds were suddenly drowned out when someone leaned against the railing next to him. He didn't have to turn to figure out it was Ushijima. No one else threw quite that big of a shadow.

“Tsukishima,” Ushijima said with his deep voice, sounding nonchalant in his own way. Tsukishima honestly couldn't say what he and Ushijima would have to talk about, so he was only worried about having to make stilted small talk and was completely unprepared for what came out of Ushijima's mouth next.

“Would you like to give me your number?”

Tsukishima's jaw popped open in disbelief. 

Even though Kuroo had jokingly titled Ushijima as his wanna-be-boyfriend, Tsukishima had never actually gotten those vibes from him. He turned to send an imploring look at his friends, hoping for one of them to swoop in and save him again – but then something strange happened.

When he looked at Kuroo, Akaashi and Bokuto, they had all frozen solid in the middle of what they were doing, staring at him. And they were all wearing the exact same expression.

Tsukishima had never seen them all with the same exact expression on their faces before. It was fascinating. Narrowed eyes, bared teeth, _obvious_ disdain. But next to them stood Oikawa, who looked like he would bite his own arm off in fury any second now.

As if Tsukishima could ever turn down the chance to annoy that many people at once.

He turned back to Ushijima, giving a sweet smile, and whipped out his phone.

“Tell you what,” he said, enjoying every syllable.

“Why don't you just give me yours?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's been a while >.< Life happens^^' Sadly the days when I was easily writing 1k each single day are over, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up :D I'm still here!
> 
> Thanks again to Ess for betaing! <3

The ship returned to the harbor in the early afternoon, releasing a load of inebriated party-boys into the unsuspecting village. Most of them flocked towards the row of restaurants neatly lined up along the beach, which is where Tsukishima had suspected their own journey would lead as well, but his friends started to pull him into the opposite direction instead.

“Wait!” Tsukishima said. “Where the hell are you going? There's nothing but cargo boats over there.”

“Um, yeah...” Kuroo said, clearly just coming up with an excuse in his head. “That... uhm. Bokuto has it on his to-do list.”

“To look at the cargo boats?” Tsukishima prodded, narrowing his eyes.

Bokuto, who was blind to all pleading looks shot at him from both Kuroo and Akaashi, seemed confused. “I don't think I do,” he said. “I just wanted to go there as fast as possible so those guys wouldn't catch up with us.” He pointed with his thumb to where Ushijima and Oikawa just walked out of the cruise ship, Oikawa already waving.

“Ugh,” they all said, including Tsukishima, when the wave was accompanied by a yodeled “Yo-hooo!”

Ushijima raised a hand in greeting. They had somehow lost each other up on deck, after Kuroo had swooped in and insisted Tsukishima do the Titanic-pose with him at the ship's bow. He was lucky though; it turned out that the ship's bow wasn't even accessible. And by 'lucky', Tsukishima meant lucky for Kuroo, because he would have definitely pushed him in.

“Where are you going?” Oikawa asked, skipping towards them with a few joyful hops. “You're not actually going to leave before giving me your number, right, glasses-guy?”

“Do you even remember my name?” Tsukishima asked.

“Tsukishima,” Ushijima helped, catching up to his partner just in time.

“That's what I was going to say,” Oikawa smirked. “So, _Tsukishima_. Are you seriously going to leave without giving me your number?”

“I'm seriously going to leave,” Tsukishima said. He heard a quiet snort coming from behind. It sounded like Kuroo.

“But!” Oikawa whined. He was losing his cool again. Of which he didn't have a lot to begin with, Tsukishima had come to understand. “Look at me! If you turn me down, you'll regret it for the rest of your life!”

“Eh,” Tsukishima said. “What's one more regret. Besides, didn't you say the only intriguing thing about me was that I'm not interested in you? So what do you want from me – interest, or no interest? It's very confusing.”

Oikawa threw his hands up in a rather dramatic gesture. “Okay, first of all – it's a condition!” he said. “I'm doomed to only be interested in guys who turn me down. So, you see – the _trick_ is to just _not_ turn me down, and that way-”

“Here!”

Kuroo had come to stand beside Tsukishima, but instead of defending him, he held out a piece of paper with a number on it for Oikawa.

“Are you crazy?” Tsukishima hissed, but it was already too late. Oikawa had grabbed the piece of paper with absolute glee, waving it in front of Ushijima's face like a war flag.

“Now, if you'll excuse us,” Kuroo said haughtily. “We have important places to be.” He opened his arms to herd them all away in the direction of the cargo boats as if anyone would believe there was an important appointment waiting for them there. But Oikawa was already skipping away, the piece of paper clutched between his hands. Ushijima raised another hand to signal farewell, then he stalked after his partner.

“Why are we actually going in this direction now?” Akaashi asked wearily.

“Because it would look stupid if we abandoned the act now!” Kuroo insisted.

Tsukishima would have objected, but returning Ushijima's farewell, he caught a glimpse of Tendou and Tanaka stumbling off the ship, the former riding on the latter's back like a drunk pony riding on an equally drunk, shirtless cowboy. Tsukishima didn't have the patience left to deal with this, so he left them to tumble around the harbor by themselves.

“You just signed your death certificate,” he spat at Kuroo instead. “Why the fuck did you give him my number?”

“Why would someone have to sign their own death certificate?” Kuroo mused. “Isn't that kind of a paradox? You can't sign anything when you're dead, and you can't get a death certificate when you're alive.”

“Kuroo would never give that guy your number,” Akaashi said with absolute certitude, causing Kuroo to give him a bright smile.

“Honey!” Kuroo swooned. “You know me so well!”

“What did you give him then?” Bokuto asked.

“My own number.”

Bokuto immediately despaired. “WHAT?” he cried. “WHY?”

“Yes, Kuroo, _why_?” Tsukishima droned. “Don't tell me the big eyes and bouncy hair actually worked on you.”

“No, I think it was the 'Oops' number,” Kuroo said, laughing when Bokuto gave an actually distraught scream. “Relax! I'm just kidding. I doubt he'll text. Besides, if Tsukki can go around and pick up random strangers, why can't I?”

“Because you're not a completely clueless idiot,” Akaashi said.

“Huh?” Tsukishima had not expected to be the recipient of insults all of a sudden. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me!” Akaashi said, shooting him a look from under the rim of his over-sized fisherman's hat.

Tsukishima would not have shied away from this discussion if not for the dockworker running towards them and waving her arms. They were obviously intruding into a territory they had no place in.

“Oh shit,” Kuroo cursed, grabbing Bokuto’s arm to make him turn. The woman was yelling something at them. She wasn't very tall or dangerous-looking, but they were so used to getting into trouble that the first reaction to being yelled at was to look for a way out.

“Run!” Bokuto shouted, eyes wild – he looked like he was going to throw Tsukishima or Akaashi over his shoulders again, so they both took a step back. The delay in their decision-making was enough time for the woman to catch up with them. She came in like a storm, with an armful of yellow, reflective vests and hardhats.

“I was starting to think you changed your mind!” the strange woman said, pushing one of the vests in Tsukishima’s stomach. He was too perplexed to say anything, as were the other three. 

“You book it, you pay it, you know?” the dockworker grumbled, as she handed out a vest to each of them, clearly exasperated.

“Oh shit!” Kuroo whispered again, biting his lips when the woman shot him a look.

“Book it?” Akaashi asked, frowning at the vest as if he resented how it clashed with his baby-pink shark shirt. 

“Your tour, silly!” the dockworker huffed. Turning around to lead the way, they clearly heard her mumble a resentful “Tourists!” under her breath.

No one had the heart to tell her that they were not the group of tourists who had booked a tour around the docks, since it looked like this wasn’t the first time she’d been stood up. Besides – there was no way this tour would turn out worse than anything Bokuto had planned for them, so they exchanged a round of helpless shrugs and trotted after her, letting her show them around the harbor. 

It wasn’t very big, but probably a source of pride for this otherwise quite small fishing village. They followed after her, ooh-ing and aah-ing at the loads of fish packed into iced containers. Nodding their heads at a crane heaving a stack of crates onto one of the ships. All the while Tsukishima’s neck prickled with the mean looks Akaashi shot at him.

Bokuto, who had obviously fallen in love with the tour as soon as a little hardhat was placed on his head, kept asking the dockworker a million questions. Kuroo seemed to warm up to the unplanned activity as well. The childish joy looked good on him. Not that Tsukishima had any time to appreciate it – Akaashi’s sour face really started to grate at his nerves.

After half an hour of untiring questions met by untiring explanations, Tsukishima couldn't take it anymore. He let Bokuto, Kuroo and the dockworker round a corner to look at the oldest ship in the harbor, then he quickly turned and pulled Akaashi into a small gap between two cargo crates.

“Alright,” he said. He should have thought about this some more – the gap was tighter than he had thought and he was practically shoving Akaashi up against the crate, but that only helped his cause. “What the hell is going on?”

Akaashi didn’t look too worried about being pulled into a dark alley-like location while someone towered over him and hindered his escape route.

“What do you mean?” he drawled, unimpressed.

“Why are you angry with me? And why did you call me a clueless idiot?”

“Hmm…” Akaashi made a thoughtful face. “I’m angry because you’re a clueless idiot. And I called you a clueless idiot, because you’re a clueless idiot. So I guess it all boils down to you being a-“

“Very funny!” Tsukishima interrupted. His voice betrayed him. He was trying for monotone, but it came out rough.

Ironically, out of the three of them, Akaashi was the one who made Tsukishima’s blood boil the hottest and the most frequent. There was something about his calm, almost arrogant anger that just pulled Tsukishima’s strings. Maybe it was Akaashi’s eyes, alight like a gray storm in his otherwise motionless features. It was unfairly fascinating. The last thing Tsukishima wanted to think during a fight was how attractive the other looked. Especially when said person was wearing a hard hat _over_ a khaki fisherman’s hat.

Akaashi’s stormy eyes came closer as he met Tsukishima's stare, belligerent. He refused to back down. Tsukishima had been an idiot to think Akaashi would be intimidated solely by his height, like other people often were.

“If you’re not that clueless, then why did you give Ushijima your number?” Akaashi asked.

Tsukishima knew not to hope that this was some form of jealousy. When it came to Akaashi, it could mean anything. Maybe he thought Oikawa and Ushijima were into each other and too stupid to see it. Or _maybe_ he thought that either Bokuto or Kuroo would be hurt by such an act. But on whose behalf did he get angry? Tsukishima felt like tearing his hair out. Just _thinking_ about anything involving their feelings and relationships gave him a headache. So he had forced himself to stop thinking about it. Even if it made him clueless.

“I never gave him my number, I just let him give me his,” he said. He couldn’t think of anything better. 

Akaashi scoffed. He was so close that Tsukishima could feel the air on his lips. It smelled like alcohol.

“Enlighten me, then,” Tsukishima said.

There was something else in Akaashi's eyes now. It looked like he might be smirking. Not that Tsukishima could see it. They were too close. Nose-to-nose close.

“Enlighten you?” Akaashi breathed.

It would be a lie to say that Tsukishima didn’t try to provoke a certain reaction. He had always thought that if he were ever to get weak in Akaashi’s presence, it would be during a fight. Because that was the closest he ever got to see something akin to passion flare up in Akaashi’s otherwise guarded composure.

When they were like this, it wasn’t difficult to imagine things getting out of hand. To imagine Akaashi standing up on his toes, grabbing the back of Tsukishima's neck and passionately pulling him in for an open-mouthed kiss. To imagine his thigh burrowing between Akaashi's legs, pushing him up against the container, imagine a choked moan, the sharp taste of gin transmitted from Akaashi's tongue. Imagine Akaashi's fingers sneaking under his hardhat, tearing at his hair, a thumbnail burrowing into his jaw, teeth scraping at his lips.

He had never before imagined Akaashi to kiss like that. Messy and wild. Desperate. But he imagined it so vividly.

He imagined it so vividly that it took a moment for him to realize this was actually happening.

Akaashi bucked up against him, riding up on his thigh. Tsukishima wondered for a split-second if he even still had a foot on the ground, but then Akaashi's body pressed against his and his brain short-circuited. 

This sure wasn't what he had expected this day to lead to – but then the day in and of itself had turned out to consist of nothing but surprises.

This – passionately making out with Akaashi Keiji between two cargo crates – was certainly the biggest surprise of them all. And the best one. It even beat the coconut crab demanding to be fed by him this morning.

Akaashi made a sound into his mouth, and then his lips broke away and his head crashed backwards against the metal crate. He looked up at Tsukishima through half-lidded eyes, chest heaving. Both hats had tumbled off his head unnoticed, his hair a beautiful mess. He looked otherworldly.

He also looked very, very drunk.

“Do you feel enlightened?” Akaashi slurred.

Tsukishima made a quick step back, causing Akaashi to fall a few inches, now that there was no thigh pushing him up anymore. He looked small and helpless, all of a sudden. Not that stormy, angry creature Tsukishima had seen in him just moments earlier.

“You're drunk,” Tsukishima said, casting down his eyes in shame.

God, he was such an idiot. Wishful thinking should only go that far. But now he had pulled his drunk friend into a dark location, pushed him up against a crate and wished so much to kiss him that he had taken advantage.

_Had_ he? Tsukishima honestly couldn't remember if he or Akaashi had initiated the kiss. But he had a growing suspicion that Akaashi had nothing to do with it.

Fuck. He really was the worst kind of friend.

“Ah,” Akaashi said, pushing himself back into a more upright position, even if he was swaying a little. “Still clueless, I see.”

Tsukishima wanted to ask. He really wanted to. The words just wouldn't cross his lips. He couldn't even say if it was pride, or shame, or fear of the answer. Actually, he didn't even know what the question was.

_Akaashi – do you like me?_

Of course he did. They were very close friends. Who just made out between two cargo crates.

_Akaashi – do you like me more than Bokuto and Kuroo?_

No matter how Tsukishima looked at it – there was no way the answer to that question could ever be a yes.

So all he said was, “I'm so sorry. This never should have happened.”

And all Akaashi said was, “You're right. I'm really gonna hate myself when I sober up.”

And then Bokuto ran past the gap between their crates, calling out for them, and they walked back out into the sunlight, as if nothing had ever happened at all.

It was not easy to keep up the act for the rest of the day. They finished their tour and then decided to head back to their AirBnb to have Kuroo cook a nice meal from the ingredients he had gotten at the market yesterday. Thanks to Nishinoya's insider information, they had found a shady parking spot near the harbor and weren't forced to spend the whole day in the village.

Tsukishima managed to act like nothing was wrong exactly until everyone else was occupied. Kuroo was busy dancing around the tiny kitchen corner, chopping up vegetables with a dull knife while Bokuto had taken up the challenge to make Akaashi take a shower in the backyard. Under the guise of needing a moment of quiet, Tsukishima grabbed his phone and fled over the little dune towards the beach.

He could still hear Bokuto yell encouragements, but he was sure that he was out of their earshot, so he selected the number he was meaning to call.

The person who answered the phone sounded anything but happy about it.

“Since when are we doing calls?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

“Hello Kenma.”

“I was busy.”

“It's five in the afternoon on a Wednesday,” Tsukishima said. “I live with you. I know what you do at five in the afternoon on a Wednesday. You're looking in the fridge and wonder why it hasn't magically filled up with salty caramel chocolate like it always does.”

“I have friends over,” Kenma lied.

“Oh really?” Tsukishima sneered. He already felt better. “That's weird. Because Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi are right here with me. And you know who else I ran into, planning to participate in a beach volleyball tournament? I'm sure you can guess.”

“I have other friends!” Kenma mumbled. It sounded like he had stuffed his mouth with something. Since there was no salty caramel chocolate at the ready, Tsukishima guessed he had finally settled for the chewy coffee-flavored candies the old neighbor lady had gifted them for installing her WiFi. They had been hiding in the back of their fridge for almost five months now.

“The longer you're playing this game, the longer this call is going to take,” Tsukishima said dryly.

Kenma pondered his words for a moment before he gave in with a sigh.

“I was dreading this,” he said. “But fine. Who did you accidentally make out with?”

Tsukishima covered his phone with his free hand to mute a groan, but he wasn't sure where the microphone was, so Kenma probably heard it. He put the phone back to his ear, clearing his throat.

“Fine. How did you know?” he said.

Kenma sounded distinctly amused, even though the candy must have glued his teeth shut.

“You're on a vacation with three people you have a huge crush on. And those three people just happen to be Kuroo, Akaashi and Bokuto. I have a whole bingo card with situations I foresaw for this trip.”

“Just let it be said that I find it very insulting you made a game of my mess of a life. And also, I need your advice.”

“Since when are we doing love advice?” Kenma groaned.

“How else are you going to cross off those bingo cards?”

Kenma snorted, audibly breaking his teeth apart from the sticky candy. “You're so naive. I get my intel from a variety of independent sources. I'm a neutral party in this circus. I can't give you advice. It's against my code of ethics.”

“You mean this is all just a complicated, interesting game for you,” Tsukishima accused. “Our lives. _My_ life! Your very nice roommate, who buys you chocolate.”

“And Bokuto dyes my hair. And Akaashi proof-reads my papers. And Kuroo... Well, he's mostly annoying, but in a nice way where I can't be mad at him for it.”

“I could always tell him you just said that,” Tsukishima threatened.

“He would never believe it. Anyway, tell me what happened and I'll see what I can do.”

Tsukishima looked over his shoulder to check if the others were still busy doing their things. He couldn't see anything, but Bokuto was still yelling somewhere out of sight.

“I...” Tsukishima said, fighting to get the words out. “Well, it's like you said. I accidentally... you know.”

“Which one?”

“Akaashi.”

Kenma gave a whistle through his teeth. “That's not even on my bingo card.”

“We were fighting...”

“Ah, _that_ is on my bingo card.”

“... and he was drunk.”

“That combination explains his guard being down,” Kenma said. “So? What happened?”

“I think...” Tsukishima whispered. “Kenma, I think I might have taken advantage of him.”

There was a snort coming from the other side of the line, which wasn't the kind of reaction Tsukishima had expected. But when he spoke, Kenma's voice sounded as bored as any other day.

“Listen. I had you guys all making out with each other on my bingo card, because it's bound to happen. This is not a situation where you're going around, getting some innocent people drunk in order to take advantage of them. This is a situation where Akaashi Keiji got himself drunk and forgot he was supposed to have some restraint.”

“Bound to happen?” Tsukishima asked, frowning. He had worked very hard to keep these things from happening.

“What, you think you're immune to being a libido-driven student just because you don't drink alcohol?”

“Yes!” Tsukishima huffed.

“Well, think again. You're not me.”

“Ha!” Tsukishima spat, slapping up a cloud of sand. “ _You_ are just helplessly in love with the most oblivious person on the planet.”

“If this conversation shifts towards giving _me_ love advice, I will hang up, second-most oblivious person on the planet.” Kenma's teeth sounded like they were finally glued shut.

“You're not very helpful anyway,” Tsukishima said.

“What exactly was your problem again? You like them all, yet you don't want to kiss them?”

“I don't want to fool around with my friends, because that tends to make things awkward,” Tsukishima sighed. “I speak from experience – past _and_ currently happening. Besides, I want a real, loving relationship with a future. And I just think it's unfair towards my partner if I have feelings for our best friends. If I can't keep it in my pants now, how am I supposed to do it once I'm in a serious relationship? I don't want to end up being a cheater!”

Kenma commented on Tsukishima’s long list of worries and fears with a drawn-out yawn.

“I'm being put to sleep!” he groaned. “This is the kind of stuff cheap TV-soaps are made of. My only advice to you is to become more interesting. Think a little more outside of the box.”

“I can't believe Kuroo always makes you sound like an innocent little kitten that needs protecting,” Tsukishima said. “When in reality you're a snake.”

He could practically hear Kenma's sticky grin when he said, “You like snakes.”

“I don't like it when they give me love advice.”

“You asked for it!”

“Yes. I don't know what I expected.”

Tsukishima definitely felt better.

“So, are we done?” Kenma asked hopefully.

“Sure,” Tsukishima said. “One last thing. Did you remember to open a window in your room?”

“Ugh!”

“And how many empty cups are on your desk right now? Remember, we said no more than four.”

“UGH!”

“And drink some water, especially if your teeth are stuck together!”

“GOODBYE!” Kenma snarled through closed teeth. He was gone with one satisfying click. 

Tsukishima grinned down at his phone. He wasn’t sure yet if this call had been illuminating, but he had managed to extract a lot more information from Kenma than usual. All four of them had very close ties to Kenma – Kuroo as his childhood friend, Akaashi as his classmate, Bokuto as his colleague at the museum store they both part-timed at, and finally Tsukishima as his roommate. Even better – it was very hard to get anything out of Kenma. So whether he wanted to or not, he was the one person they all turned to when they needed to vent about each other. 

“Information #1” – Tsukishima wrote into the sand with his finger. “A wants to kiss me”. 

Maybe that wasn’t new information, but it was nice to hear it be confirmed.

“Information #2 – A needs to show restraint.”

But _why_? All Tsukishima could come up with was that maybe Akaashi had the exact same problem as himself. That maybe he was attracted to all of them equally and just couldn’t decide. 

God. What if that was the case for _all_ of them? What if they were caught in some kind of Twelfth Night situation, unable to ever break free of the endless circle of attractions and confusion?

“Information #3 – I need to think outside the box.”

Not one of his strengths, Tsukishima had to admit to himself. He was good at thinking, per se. But he was only good at thinking _inside_ the box. Clear structures. Based on facts and experience. He didn’t know how to get outside of that box. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what lay out there. It felt like he was trying to imagine a color he had never seen before.

“Tsukki?”

Tsukishima slapped a hand right across the sand with the traitorous writing. He knew that his face would look as guilty as a child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so he didn’t turn around to face Kuroo.

“What are you doing out there?”

Now that the voice didn’t come like such a shock, Tsukishima realized that it was still too far away to have seen anything. He dared a tentative look over his shoulder.

Kuroo stood on top of the dune, waving a ladle. 

“I'm done cooking!”

Tsukishima checked with one eye if he had obliterated all of the writing before he picked himself up and went back to the house. Kuroo met him halfway, one eyebrow raised, and slapped his butt with the ladle.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I was trying to see if the crab was still out there,” Tsukishima lied. “Maybe I'll prepare something for it to eat and leave it out on the dune. If it comes back to knock on our window, Bokuto will choke me for good.”

“We can always switch beds,” Kuroo proposed, using his ladle like a hook to catch Tsukishima around the hips and pull him in. “I'm a way better bed-partner than him anyway.”

Out of the blue, a wet towel came flying out of the open window, hitting Kuroo in the face. 

“Traitor!” Bokuto called. His head appeared in the window one second later. “But also, hurry up, the food smells so good! I'm hungry. And Akaashi, too – he looks like he wants to murder somebody.”

“That's not because of the hunger!” Akaashi groused from out of view. One groan of the bed-springs later, Akaashi's head appeared in the window as well, and Bokuto's description turned out to be on point.

Akaashi was wrapped up in every single towel they had brought on this trip, save for the one that was thrown in Kuroo's face just now. His hair had been towel-dried to the point where he looked like a newborn cat after its first tongue-shower. The cold water had definitely sobered him up. He didn't meet Tsukishima's eye.

“Wow, babe, you sure look fresh!” Kuroo laughed. 

Akaashi's narrowed eyes sent him a silent threat, but Kuroo wasn't bothered by it. He swung his ladle again. “How'd you like to warm up over a nice curry?”

Akaashi's face disappeared from the window without another word, followed by some more bed-creaking and finally, the door.

Bokuto, who was still hanging out of the window, jumped up on the bed. “Better hurry up, before he eats it all!” he said, then he was gone, too.

Tsukishima didn't feel like hurrying to be in Akaashi's presence at all, but the ladle-hook came back to catch him. He had no choice but to stumble around the house behind Kuroo, who almost broke down the door trying to get in.

The other two had managed to find two giant bowls to eat from, but that was it. There didn't seem to be any other dishes that would work with the curry. 

“I think we'll have to share,” Bokuto said, retreating from the cupboard. 

Akaashi was already filling up one bowl with rice. 

“Share,” Bokuto said again, a little louder.

Akaashi stopped what he was doing to look up at them.

“Okay. Who will voluntarily share with me?”

He said it like a threat, so no one jumped at the offer. Kuroo quickly took the second bowl out of Bokuto's hands and pushed the ladle on him instead.

“I'll share with Tsukki,” Kuroo smirked. “Because you two eat like dredgers anyway. It would be unfair to our sensible palate.”

“No fair!” Bokuto whined. “I already had to shower him! At this rate he'll murder me in cold blood by the end of the day!”

Kuroo patted his back with a solemn face. “Sorry, bro. I'll say something nice in the eulogy.”

“Say something nice _now_!” Bokuto protested, but Kuroo ignored him to fill his bowl with rice and curry instead. 

Akaashi was already on his way out. Since there was no table inside the house, they had to choose between eating on the sofa or down at the beach. The sun wasn't scorching hot anymore, but Tsukishima still grabbed the sunshade leaning at the side of the house, just in case. Akaashi may be wrapped up in all the towels right now, but they'd actually have to sit on some of them – plus, Tsukishima really needed to get back in Akaashi's good graces. Although, when Akaashi was mad at each one of them, it was usually a sign that he was just angry at himself. Which Tsukishima wasn't sure was a good or bad sign.

He left it to Bokuto and Kuroo to prepare the picnic site, because that involved taking the towels from Akaashi, and fiddled with the sunshade instead.

In the end, their hungry stomachs managed to let them concentrate on eating without snapping at each other too much. Tsukishima shared his bowl with Kuroo – a much less sexy affair than it had been to share food with Akaashi, which was mainly due to Kuroo musing about how well some oily fish would go with the otherwise vegetarian curry. Thank God he hadn't found any conserves at the market.

They had just shoveled the last piece of rice into their mouths when a car pulled up from the pebble-stone street lining the beach. 

“Surfers?” Kuroo munched. His face fell quickly when three people exited the car and even though they were still quite far away, their individual hairstyles made it unmistakable that they knew all of them.

“Pests,” Tsukishima corrected, putting his empty bowl down in the sand. Bokuto had already jumped up to wave his arms.

“They've recruited another,” Akaashi sighed. He had been quiet throughout their meal, so his comment earned him an encouraging pat on the back from Kuroo. 

“It's fine,” Kuroo said. “Bokuto and I will distract them. You guys try to enjoy a quiet evening.”

Enjoy the evening? Sitting alone with Akaashi in uncomfortable silence? Tsukishima almost snorted. He'd rather spend another hour falling off his board. 

Nishinoya, Tanaka, and Tendou arrived at their picnic site, all carrying their surfboards under their arms and beaming.

“What are you doing just sitting around?” Tanaka barked. “Look at those waves! They're perfect!”

“Hey, hey! Why didn't you bring Hinata? I wanted to teach him!” Bokuto complained.

“He's got better things to do,” Tanaka said, snickering with Nishinoya as if that was some kind of inside joke. Bokuto ignored it and turned to Tendou instead.

“And Ushijima?”

“Training for the Beach Volley tournament tomorrow,” Tendou shrugged. “Now that you helped him get his obnoxious partner back.”

“Right. Sorry about that,” Kuroo grinned. “Come on, Bokuto, let's go get our boards.”

Tsukishima was left sitting on the towels with Akaashi, still reeling from the sudden change of pace. He caught up too late, when Kuroo and Bokuto were already halfway across the dune. Tanaka and Tendou were fencing with their surfboards, and Nishinoya reliably let himself fall down to sit between Tsukishima and Akaashi.

“You guys don't wanna join?” Nishinoya asked. “The evening surf is really special, I promise!”

“Headache,” Akaashi said. 

Tsukishima shrugged. “I might join later.”

“Are you sure?” Nishinoya was clearly waiting for a sign to intervene, but Tsukishima just shook his head. There would not be another situation today where he'd be alone with Akaashi. Maybe it was for the best if he found out where they stood before he lay awake all night, worrying about it.

“Fine. Suit yourselves,” Nishinoya said, leaning back to cheer Tanaka on in his board-fight. “If they break those, that means more business for me,” he whispered with a wink. 

Kuroo and Bokuto came running back down the dune with their boards, both wearing their wetsuits. They didn't stop running to collect the others and catapulted themselves straight into the waves instead.

Before Tsukishima could even blink, everyone else was storming off to throw themselves into the water and he was left sitting next to Akaashi, who looked like a stone statue, staring off into the distance. 

Tsukishima was not the type of person to just come out with something like, “So, about what happened earlier...” - he had to think this through from all angles first. Which was unfair, because his brain was stuck. And the awkward silence made it impossible to concentrate.

“Do... do you want me to get you an aspirin?” he finally asked. It had nothing to do with what he wanted to talk about, but it was still better than the silence.

Akaashi's head slowly turned to look at him, poker-face in place.

“For your headache,” Tsukishima said, when Akaashi just furrowed his brows.

“Ah,” Akaashi said. “No, thanks.” Then he turned back to watch the others surf.

Tsukishima had to physically keep himself from throwing a fistful of sand at him. Way to make this hard. 

“Okay, look...”

Tsukishima snapped his mouth back shut. He had not yet planned what to say, so why was he speaking? He was almost sure that Akaashi somehow made him do it. Extracted the words from him through sheer power of will.

“I... uhm. I'm... sorry. For what happened today. I never should have... done that.”

Again, Akaashi's head turned towards him, frown even deeper than before.

“ _What?_ ” Akaashi said, but Tsukishima didn't plan on ever repeating that, so he just turned his reddening face away, until he heard Akaashi sigh. “You really are an idiot, huh?”

“Could you stop-” Tsukishima snapped, but Akaashi interrupted him.

“Eeee-diot!”

“You're more childish than Bokuto and Kuroo combined,” Tsukishima said, even though he was almost glad Akaashi turned this conversation into something less heart-felt. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“I'm ashamed of myself for very different reasons,” Akaashi said. “Like, for example, that I got drunk in the light of day and then pushed myself on you. So you apologizing to me is almost insulting.”

“You didn't...” Tsukishima said. He could feel his face grow even hotter, but at least he wasn't the only one anymore. Akaashi was burning up, too.

“I didn't get black-out drunk, so don't try to correct my memory!” Akaashi scoffed. “I made a mistake, okay? I never planned on kissing you... like that.”

“Like that,” Tsukishima repeated. “Ugh. Just once in your life, could you say something that actually makes sense?”

“I won't help you anymore!” Akaashi said. “If even Bokuto and Kuroo can figure this out all by themselves, I don't understand why it should be any harder for you. You're the most intelligent one out of us all.”

Tsukishima didn't feel very intelligent right now. All his brain was able to produce was white noise. 

“You know what I think?” Akaashi sighed. “If you wanted what we want, you would know it. It's not rocket science.”

No, it wasn't. Because rocket science would probably be much easier for Tsukishima to understand. Yes, he would definitely sooner understand rocket science than whatever this mess of feelings between them was. At least it was a _science_. Based on logic and facts. 

“I want to forget about it,” Tsukishima said. “And go back to how things were before.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes – which, if Tsukishima wasn't mistaken, was only the third time he had ever done that at him. The ultimate insult.

“How things were before, huh?” Akaashi said, before Tsukishima could come up with the right way to respond. He said it with a suppressed grin, so Tsukishima knew to be wary.

“Yes...” he said, narrowing his eyes.

“Okay.” Akaashi pushed a hand deep into the pocket of his pants and pulled a small bottle of sunscreen out of it. Looking back at Tsukishima, the edges of his mouth were definitely pulling up. “I really need a new layer.”

Maybe Tsukishima's face lighted up like a beacon, or maybe Nishinoya just had a sixth sense when it came to fulfilling his promises – in any case, Tsukishima never had to react to Akaashi's provocation, because a shadow suddenly fell over them and when they turned, Nishinoya was standing there, hands on his hips and grinning widely. 

“These are the most perfect waves you'll see all week, and ignoring them to sit in the sand would be blasphemy,” he said. “So get up, before I get my goons-” he pointed over his shoulder to where Tanaka and Tendou were already waiting, “- to do it for you.”

Tsukishima definitely believed that they would storm in at a single sign, to grab him under the armpits and just carry him up the dune. But even without the threat, he would have jumped at the opportunity to get away from Akaashi, who looked at him with his x-ray eyes, as if scanning him for weaknesses. 

“He's right,” Akaashi said, giving a small smile. “You should go out there and enjoy the surf. Don't mind me – I'll just lie under the shade and nurse my headache.”

Tsukishima gave a stiff nod. “Fine. Just let me get my board,” he told Nishinoya, glad to have an excuse to turn his back to everyone as he walked away to stalk up the dune. He contemplated calling Kenma again, but this was not the right time. He'd be busy with his games right now. Plus, if Tsukishima called too often to whine about his love life, Kenma would seriously get annoyed and be less inclined to let little pieces of information slip. 

Back at the house, he changed into his wetsuit, grabbed an aspirin and a glass of water for Akaashi, and shouldered his board, then waddled back down to the beach. 

To his surprise, Nishinoya had stayed with Akaashi, the two of them exchanging pleasantries over a shared bottle of sunscreen, which they both failed to properly spread on their faces. They both looked up at him, children with badly drawn Zorro masks at a carnival, a string of words dying on Nishinoya's grinning lips. Tsukishima was almost sure he had heard him say 'stick up the ass', but not sure enough to ask about it. Instead, he commented on the budding friendship with a deep frown.

“Your aspirin.” Tsukishima handed the glass of water and the medicine to Akaashi, who took both with a hint of surprise in his eyes. He didn't manage a proper thank you until Tsukishima had kicked Nishinoya off the towels and they were both headed towards the water with their boards under their arms.

“He's not all that intimidating, once you get to know him, huh?” Nishinoya hummed – a sentiment with which Tsukishima did not agree at all.

“You got to really know him in the five minutes it took me to get the board?” he asked.

Nishinoya gave a mysterious grin. “I think so.”

Without warning, Nishinoya whistled sharply through his fingers, and a moment later, Tanaka and Tendou washed up in the surf before them. Tsukishima looked out for Kuroo and Bokuto, but they were too far out, both of them sitting on the same surfboard, facing each other. They were probably planning some stupid stunt. It didn't look like they would notice Tsukishima being surrounded by all these pests and swoop in to save him. 

“What is this?” Tsukishima groused, shooting them all an individual glare. “An intervention?”

“Something like that,” Tanaka said, ushering him towards the water and out of earshot from Akaashi. Tsukishima had no choice but to lie down on his board and let them push him out into the open waters, until he was caught in their huddle feeling like he was surrounded by sharks. 

“So...” Tanaka hummed, flashing his shark-teeth. “I think Noya finally agrees with me...” he paused to send Nishinoya an inquisitive look and continued with a grin when it was met with a nod. “- that we need to change up our plan a little.”

“Our plan?” Tsukishima asked, gesturing at Tendou, who floated on his board, watching them with an annoyingly content expression. “ _Our_ plan? You guys are the worst accomplices in the world! Not only did you do _nothing_ to support this plan – which, by the way, wasn't much of a plan at all! You were just supposed to act as a buffer between me and them so that I wouldn't suffer a heart-attack from all the flirting by the end of the week. And instead you pull some random stranger into this mess. You leave me alone with them on a sex boat. You sit and plot with _Akaashi_ , of all people. You're all fired from the plan!”

“You like them, don't you?” Nishinoya asked, disregarding all of Tsukishima's very good points. “You want to spend the rest of your life with them. Maybe even get married. In any case – it's not like you just have to survive this week and after that you'll never see them again.”

“Yes, of course!” Tsukishima barked. “Do you get something out of hearing me admit this over and over again?”

“A little,” Tanaka smiled, blissful. 

“Just checking,” Nishinoya said. “Because you're going at this from the wrong direction. Do you think they'll just stop flirting with you as soon as this vacation is over?”

“Ideally!” Tsukishima said, still fuming. 

Nishinoya knew exactly how long to just silently stare him down for Tsukishima to start imagining a world in which the others actually weren't flirting with him anymore. In which Akaashi wasn't so free with his touches. In which Bokuto didn't blurt out the most unexpected compliments. In which Kuroo didn't blush as soon as Tsukishima so much as looked at him. 

It would be a cold, cold world.

“Fine,” Tsukishima admitted. “Maybe not _ideally_ , but-”

“Yayyy,” Tendou honked, unbothered by Tsukishima's death-stare. “So what is this new plan? I hope it's a little sexier than the last one.”

“So much sexier,” Tanaka promised, just when Tsukishima said, “There will be _no_ new plan!”

They all looked at Nishinoya, as if he were a king whose final word counted. 

“I heard you gave your number to some hot guy today,” Nishinoya said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“No!” Tsukishima said. “Why is everyone telling this story the wrong way 'round? I didn't give my number to anyone!”

“Whatever, it worked wonders!” Tanaka jumped in. “You should have seen their jealous faces!”

Tsukishima had. In fact, Tsukishima had seen much more than just jealous faces – he'd gotten a reaction from Akaashi which he had never even dared to dream of. And even though he still thought it was a bad idea, he couldn't deny that it felt like something was finally changing. Like his eyes were being opened. Kenma had let slip that they all wanted to kiss him. Akaashi had admitted as much, he just hadn't wanted to kiss him _like that_... 

Of course he would not tell any of this to these pests – God only knew what they would do with the information. But Tsukishima felt like ever since today, the box he was supposed to think outside of had gotten a little crack. 

“I'm sure you can survive a little awkwardness. It's not like it's unheard of that best friends sometimes fool around in their youth,” Nishinoya said. 

Tsukishima looked between him and Tanaka, trying not to look obviously nauseated.

“Who knows,” Nishinoya continued, “maybe when you finally crack, two of them might feel more like kissing your brother.”

“Are you trying to make me puke?” Tsukishima hissed.

“You know – I thought I was into Wakatoshi for years,” Tendou sighed, unprompted. “And I waited all that time, too nervous to fuck things up. But when I finally made my move, it was suddenly clear to both of us that it would never work. And the experience only brought us closer together.” He shot Tsukishima one of his creepy grins, which didn't fit his story at all.

A nice wave rippled through them. Tanaka looked after it with a sigh. 

“Anyway,” Tsukishima turned back to speak with Nishinoya – the only person in this group whose opinion he actually trusted, even if he'd never admit it out loud. “What if that fails? What if they don't feel like brothers – which I seriously doubt, by the way.” 

Kissing Akaashi certainly hadn't felt like kissing a _brother_.

“You'll still know which one felt the best, or which one might look at _you_ like a brother,” Nishinoya said. “Right now, you're stuck, because you're all holding back, for whatever reason. Nothing will ever change like that. You'll just lose more years to silently yearning. I mean – be reasonable. This is not a situation where you have to be afraid you'll lose a friendship to unrequited romantic interest. The interest is clearly requited. All that's left is to find out how the puzzle fits best together. You can't do that by never sitting down and trying it out.”

“Why is _everyone_ treating our love lives like a game?” Tsukishima sighed. 

“Because you're acting like children,” Tendou offered with a serene expression. 

Tsukishima decided he was better off cutting Tendou out for the rest of the conversation. Maybe even for the rest of this trip.

Instead, he dutifully turned to Tanaka, who was clearly vibrating with something. 

“Don't hold back,” Tsukishima said, rolling his eyes. “I can't watch these gears work any harder.”

“KAKAW!” Tanaka spat, looking proud of himself. “Kiss Akaashi, Kuroo, And Wonderboy!”

“Couldn't find anything with a B in it, huh?” Tsukishima sneered. He didn't give Tanaka a chance to defend the acronym – they all sank deeper with a rolling wave coming their way, and Tsukishima sensed it to be the perfect wave to carry him away from this situation. So he hopped onto his board and left the conversation uncommented. He still had to think about some things. 

“Figures you'd turn into a pro surfer once you have to make an elegant get-away,” he heard Nishinoya yell from one wave further back.

Tsukishima left that uncommented, too. 

“Oh, wow. You weren't kidding, huh?”

Tsukishima turned around when he heard Kuroo's voice coming from the house. It had gotten dark, the pests were long gone and everyone was getting ready for bed. Except for Tsukishima, who was outside, crouching in the sand with two halves of a coconut.

“Did you know that coconuts aren't native to this island?” Tsukishima said, nodding towards the little feast he had prepared in the sand. “Even though they are called coconut crabs, they have probably never tasted a coconut before.”

The sand crunched softly under Kuroo's flip-flops as he walked across the backyard to let himself fall down next to Tsukishima.

“I bought imported stuff from the market?” he wondered. “I thought they plucked them right off these palm trees.”

“Tourist traps,” Tsukishima chuckled. “The tourists who come here will expect there to be coconuts. So they deliver.”

“You're being nice about it, but I know that you just called me an idiot,” Kuroo said, bumping him with his shoulder.

Tsukishima quietly bumped him back. 

They said nothing more, just sat there, listening to the soothing sound of the waves washing up on shore and waiting for a brave coconut crab to wander up from the beach. It wasn't awkward, despite their silence. It felt as if they had spent time sitting like this a thousand times before. Tsukishima looked down to where their hands were buried in the sand, so close to each other, it would take nothing to just move his little finger and cross it over Kuroo's. 

He averted his eyes, looking back towards the sea, to where he had floated on his board just a few hours before, surrounded by the KAKAW idiots. The water was a perfect black, seamlessly melting into the sky, which was speckled with a brighter-than-usual collection of stars. Looking at everything from here, Nishinoya's words didn't sound so impossible anymore.

And maybe Tsukishima wasn't yet brave enough to turn and kiss Kuroo straight on the mouth. And he sure wasn't brave enough to tell anyone how he felt. But he was brave enough for one thing.

He moved his little finger.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [twitter](https://twitter.com/Smokey3103) now!


End file.
